THE HALLOW 10: DWARFS

After my Game One drubbing, I plummeted down to the bottom table and got to face one of my favorite people to play, and a dude I very often play somewhere around mid-tournament for score-related reasons 😀

Dwarfs 2300
Bulwarkers Horde – Staying Stone, Throwing Mastiff
Earth Elementals Horde
Earth Elementals Horde
Earth Elementals Horde
Berserker Brock Riders Regiment – Potion of the Caterpillar
Berserker Brock Riders Regiment – Boots of Striding
Sharpshooters Troop
Sharpshooters Troop
Sharpshooters Troop
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Berserker Lord on Brock – Blade of the Beast Slayer
Berserker Lord on Brock – Mournful Blade
Stone Priest – Conjurer’s Staff, Surge (8), Bane Chant (2)
Dwarf Army Standard Bearer – Lute of Insatiable Darkness

I’m always happy to fight Dwarfs, as I very reliably out-threat them, so get to play the more control oriented game I prefer. His list seems legit? And looks great on the table. I dig the double Brock Lords, and this would be the first time I’ve faced Earth Elementals with my squishier Forest Shamblers.

Game Two is Salt the Earth, and the Herd wins and takes the initiative.

BATTLE

Herd 0: Scouting phase! It’s hard to see, but the seventh token is on that hill back-right, guarded by double Sharpshooters. My fourth Tribal Spears are hard to the right just off shot.
Herd 1: The Hallow rolls out, mobilizing chaff on the left, tempting the Brocks in the middle, and blitzing the hill on the right. Some Tribal Spears take up residence on the token in the fountain, content to never move again.
Dwarfs 1: On the left, the pathfinder Brocks jump on the chaffing Centaurs and the BotBS Brock Lord charges into the Tree Herder, while the Earth Elementals maintain their menacing wall of rock and grind towards that flank. In the center, the Mastiffs (+ Bulwarkers) trot forward and prepare to unleash themselves / bees, and the Sharpshooters hold their ground on the right.
The storm of tossed dogs shreds the central Forest Shamblers (!!!), and Sharpshooters put 2 wounds on the left Tribal Spears and 1 on the Centaur Chief.
The Centaurs are torn apart by angry badgers, but the Brock Lord fails to damage the Herder. And then those Sharpshooters on the hill to the right burn their token 😐
Herd 2: Despite that, the Hallow chooses murder, as is their want. Beast and Centaur Chief charge into a Sharpshooter troop each, while their Tribal Spear escorts go be useful elsewhere. In the center, the Brutal Herder holds the boot Brocks in place to give the Centaurs and Shamblers time to clear the Mastiffs (except the Shamblers have to plow through a fence, hindering them). On the left, Shamblers (bane chanted) and Tribal Spears combo-charge the pathfinder Brocks. I spend a ton of time deciding what to do with the left Herder – because the Brock Lord failed to wound him, the Herder could walk over him if he wanted, tho the 1″ rule makes things weird around the Brocks and etc, etc, and so I just turned him to face the wall of rocks headed in … and forgot I could just charge him. It totally won’t come back to haunt me that I didn’t put 9 3+/2+ swings into that Brock Lord. No chance.
Happily, the pathfinder Brocks pop! And on the right, the Beast kicks her Sharpshooters to death, while the Centaur Chief is content to gnaw his down. The center is less conclusive, with neither Mastiffs breaking (5 and 6 damage respectively, which is pretty superb considering the odds involved), and the Brocks taking 5 damage.
Dwarfs 2: Rock meets Wood as the Earth Elementals crash into the left Shamblers and Tribal Spears. The beast slayer Brock Lord takes another swing at the Herder disrespecting him. In the center, Mastiffs counter the stick-things assaulting them and the Brocks counter the Brutal Herder. And on the right, the duelist Brock Lord goes in to sit down the Beast as the Sharpshooters strike at the Centaur Chief with their rifle butts.
The leftmost Shamblers are pummeled into goo by ambulatory stone statues, but other charges just result in damage – or not in the case of the Herder, who is just too tough for the slayer Brock Lord! The Tribal Spears go up to 6, the Centaurs to 5, the central Shamblers to 2, the Brutal Herder to 6 (!), and the Beast is indeed sat down with 2 damage. The Centaur Chief escapes without damage as well.
Herd 3: My positioning with the left Herder pays off, as it powers into an Earth Elemental flank, with (bane chanted) Tribal Spears in the front. Everybody counter-charges in the center, however the twist is the Beast using her Sp 7 + Nimble to juke the duelist Brock Lord and flank charge the Brocks. The Centaur Chief takes another bite out of the right Sharpshooters. You can see the Tribal Spears making a cautious play for the center objective – at this point I’m doing some math and realizing I need another token to pull a win off, despite my tight grip on two of the objectives.
All combats go the Hallow’s way, such is the fury of the dark fae. The left Herder is facing that way to swing the Earth Elementals into his front if they charge or use up a surge if he wants a flank, and in the center the Centaurs jam the Bulwarkers with an overrun. The duelist Brock Lord on the hill is faced with a choice: sit the Beast down again or prepare for glory. Also I burn the token on the left.
Dwarfs 3: The left Earth Elementals are surged into the Tree Herder flank (the follow-up bane chant must have worked, with the Conjurer’s Staff on hand), with the slayer Brock Lord charging in for a third round. The Bulwarkers make to clear out the Centaurs so they can address the incoming trees, and the duelist Brock Lord, well …
He chooses glory 😤
The Centaur Chief is mulched under those 14 attaks, and the Centaurs don’t fare too well either, but both of their missions are complete. The Tree Herder astoundingly only takes 6 damage (my opponent historically has terrible dice, and the tradition has continued here).
Herd 4: The grind continues! On the left, the Tree Herder + Tribal Spears (bane chanted) hit the Earth Elementals in the front. In the center, Shamblers + Brutal Herder + Beast combo-charge the Bulwarkers … and I realize later that the Beast is probably better used trying to kick the ASB to death, removing the reroll. I also don’t turn the rightmost Tribal Spears to face the duelist Brock Lord, despite them having phalanx and him obviously being cavalry.
8 damage on the Earth Elementals isn’t bad, but I can’t reach that -/18 Nv. Likewise the 12 damage on the Bulwarkers is solid enough, with a ways to go. Note that I’ve been watching his movement in the center, and those Tribal Spears are 16″ away from those Earth Elementals, to make him walk the whole way and not give a speed boost thanks to charging.
Dwarfs 4: Let’s just tear the bandage off – the slayer Brock Lord drops the left Tree Herder 😦 Well fought, tiny dude on badger that I ignored all game. The Earth Elementals bash the Tribal Spears up to 7 damage (wavering them), the Bulwarkers (bane chanted) stab the Brutal Herder up to 9 damage, and the duelist Brock Lord puts 3 on the right Tribal Spears desperately holding a point with no inspiring to be seen. The central Earth Elementals begin to crest the hill.
Herd 5: The wavered Tribal Spears back up to protect the Druid / expose the Earth Elementals to her lightning bolt (!), the Bulwakers receive another round of Brutal Herder + Forest Shamblers, the Beast pounces on the Dwarf ASB, and the right Tribal Spears counter the duelist Brock Lord (but most importantly point their sharp bits at him).
The Druid does wound the Earth Elementals with her LB(2), getting them up to 9 damage … but I can’t manage the double 9 to rout. Still awesome. The Bulwarkers are smashed into the dirt and the duelist Brock Lord takes a shocking 6 damage from small pointy tree things.
Dwarfs 5: Tiring of this grind, the left Earth Elementals trundle away to sit on a token, letting their compatriots take the hill and the token there. The Brock Lords both charge Tribal Spears … and do 0 damage on the left and 1 on the right O_O The ASB tries to ground the Beast but misses her.
Herd 6: Those left Tribal Spears rear the Earth Elementals who dared leave them to their fate, and the right Tribal Spears stab the duelist Brock Lord again. Really though it’s about mobbing the central Earth Elementals to pull the game away from his 3-2 token lead. I also punch the Beast forward in preparation for a Turn 7 run on the Sharpshooters’ token.
The Tribal Spears shatter their Earth Elementals, overrunning to take a point from the Dwarfs. The right Tribal Spears don’t kill their Brock Lord. Magic doesn’t happen in the center and the Earth Elementals hold … and we measure and discover that the Forest Shamblers are 4″ from the point thanks to combo-charge sliding. I can’t burn the point, and my 3-1 lead isn’t long for this world.
Dwarfs 6: The slayer Brock Lord ends those Tribal Spears, and the Earth Elementals swing hard and kill the Tribal Spears on the hill (a tough ask for his dice!) The duelist Brock Lord can’t rout his point-holding Tribal Spears, putting the game at 2-2. With no Turn 7, this is a …

DRAW (10-10)

Attrition put us at less than 500 points apart, for a true draw, which is apparently possible in Blackjack Scoring. It felt a little bad to have things slip away like this, as I had taken an early lead and had a lot of control – and some luck – in my favor, but even during the game I was seeing places where I simply was forgetting to do things (turn to face the Brock Lord on the right) or choosing obvious things (Beast putting a few wounds on Bulwarkers instead of kicking the ASB to death OR threatening the Sharpshooters on a point a turn earlier) rather than smarter things. In retrospect, I think could have won by not charging the Tribal Spears in on the center, as the fresh Forest Shamblers would have slide over fully to a) contest the point and b) block the Tribal Spears from the Earth Elementals, allowing them to score in safety or at the least contest, either of which would have done it for me, without a Turn 7. Instead I tried to punch for the stars per usual, and lost that win by an inch.

NEXT UP: Nature!

THE HALLOW 9: OGRES

After missing last year due to the raging global pandemic, the Crossroads GT returned in 2021 as a 2300 point singles KOW tournament – the past two Crossroads have been team tournaments, and 2022 is slatted to return to that format, but the feeling this year was that most of us haven’t played much if at all in 18 months so why complicate things? Brilliant, I say. I took my Hallow Herd, knowing full well that they aren’t strong and even my usual tournament goal of going 50% could be hard.

The Herd 2300
Forest Shambers Horde
Forest Shambers Horde
Forest Shambers Horde
Tribal Spears Regiment
Tribal Spears Regiment
Tribal Spears Regiment
Tribal Spears Regiment
Centaur Bray Striders Troop
Centaur Bray Striders Troop
Beast of Nature – Wings, 7 Attaks
Tree Herder – Pipes of Terror
Tree Herder
Druid – Conjurer’s Staff, Heal (2), Bane Chant (2), Lightning Bolt (2)
Centaur Chief

Eight games in, here’s where this version of the Hallow landed. I made a last minute decision to give the Druid LB(2) in place of the Centaur Chief’s duelist, and we’ll have to see how that played out!

Ogres 2300
Warrior Chariots Legion – Potion of the Caterpillar
Siege Breakers Horde – Chalice of Wrath
Siege Breakers Horde – Dwarven Ale
Boomers Horde – Piercing Arrow
Hunters Horde – Brew of Haste
Berserker Braves Regiment
Berserker Braves Regiment
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Sergeant on Chariot – Blade of Slashing
Ogre Warlock – The Boomstick
Ogre Warlock – Inspiring Talisman
Ogre Warlock – Conjurer’s Staff
Army Standard – Lute of Insatiable Darkness

Yep, that’s a rough place to start! But Ogres (along with Undead) were very well represented at this tournament, so I suppose if I’ve got to take it on the chin from Ogres I might as well do it first game against a good dude I haven’t played since 2E. Going list to list, I have next to no chance, except …

First round is Invade, and my tree things do that pretty well, right?? Unfortunately he wins first turn, so that tightens that screw just a bit further.

BATTLE

Herd 0: Scouting phase! The other Centaurs are hard to the left.
Ogres 1: Rollout! The Warlock conclave is just behind that left hill (currently deploying lasers).
Centaurs cop 7 damage and waver, which could have been a lot worse against 19 lightning or whatever.
Herd 1: The Hallow derdles up, presenting some sacrificial Tribal Spears in the middle and otherwise trying to make charges awkward for the Warrior Chariots and stuff on the right.
Ogres 2: Speaking of charges, here we gooooo! From the left, that’s Braves deep into Tribal Spears, Siege Breakers into the bait Spears, Chariots into the Forest Shamblers hugging the building, Hunters into the rightmost Shamblers and Scouts tripping over an obstacle into the right Tree Herder to get out of / be in the way. The other Braves jammed in to block me from charging something.
The Warlocks pour lightning into the Druid and the wounded Centaurs, disintegrating them both. In the Warm Liquid Good phase, the center is reduced to green jelly but miraculously the Hunters only land 4 damage on their Shamblers, so that flank is alive. The plucky Scouts stab their Herder for 1 damage.
Herd 2: The Hallow strikes back as it can, with an aim to at least not get zero points. The Brutal Herder fronts the Chariots with the Beast just grabbing a flank, with the central Shamblers charging some Braves as they couldn’t fit in the Chariot charge. The Centaur Chief zips in to help them out. On the right, the other Herder counters those Scouts and Shamblers flank them for murder purposes (also hitting on 5+ vs Hunters is fairly pointless and freeing up the Herder is more important). Far on the left, the Centaurs decide to threaten the Warlocks, rather than hiding behind that building and waiting to be bolted off later.
The central Braves take a little damage and hold, the Chariots only take 12 damage and hold, but the Red Goblin Scouts are obliterated. I’ll take it.
Ogre 3: The second big green hook lands. Siege Breakers charge central Shamblers, Braves counter the Centaur Chief, more Braves flank the Brutal Herder with the Chariots in the front (as they couldn’t turn and hit the Beast), and the Hunters have another go at the right Shamblers. The Warlocks fry the left Centaurs.
Dice get weird this turn: The Brutal Herder is wrecked, but somehow everything else holds?! The central Shamblers take 6, the Centaur Chief 3, and the right Shamblers are up to 7.
Herd 3: Time to capitalize on still having models! The left Tribal Spears charge the Siege Breakers (I hate it but it means they get to swing and, hey, it’s invade), the central Shamblers counter their Siege Breakers, the Centaur Chief + Beast charge the Chariots, the other living Tribal Spears bomb in to the Braves what killed the Brutal Herder, and the other Herder flanks the Hunters as the right Shamblers grudgingly hit them in the front.
The left Tribal Spears bounce off Siege Breakers, the central Shamblers punch 5 damage into theirs (for nothing), the other Tribal Spears poke 4 damage onto Braves, the Centaur Chief + Beast wreck the Chariot legion at last, and the Herder + Shamblers do 13 damage to the Hunters but I only waver them 😐
Ogres 4: The Warlocks dash for the Herd side of the table and the Sergeant prepares to charge into the right flank once it clears up, but otherwise it’s business as usual. Siege Breakers counter their Spears, other Siege Breakers counter the central Shamblers, Braves charge the Centaur Chief, more Braves counter the other Spears, and the Boomers charge out of the forest into the Beast.
The Siege Breakers pulverize their targets, while the Braves slap theirs around (Centaur Chief is wavered on 9, the Tribal Spears hold on 5) and the Boomers ground the Beast with 3 damage.
Herd 4: Needing to finish things off to walk away with any points, the Beast + Tribal Spears combo the Braves on the hill, and the Herder + Shamblers prepare to tidy up the Hunters.
The hill Braves die … but I snake eyes the Hunters on the first roll 😦
Ogres 5: The Ogres push deeper into the Herd’s zone, crushing what’s left of the Hallow. Siege Breakers crash into Tribal Spears, Braves go one more round with the Centaur Chief, the Beast takes a second charge from the Boomers, the Herder is flanked by the chariot Sergeant, and the Hunters shake it off and swing on the Shamblers again.
Everything but the Herder dies (and he only takes 4 damage).
Herd 5: The Tree Herder plows into the mangled Hunters, pulverizing them and attempting to overrun off the board. Same feel.
Ogre 6: The burly green lads fully invade the Hallow’s territory, scouring the Herder up to 10 damage in the process.
Herd 6: The Tree Herder turns to face his destroyers, radiancing down to 9 damage and scowling as hard as possible.
Ogres 7: The Herder burns down under the full force of the Ogre shooting, for a very convincing …

OGRE VICTORY (20-1)

It’s hard to remember the last time I was tabled? But I was happy to walk away from a very tough match-up with a point. With normal dice – or not going to Turn 7 – that might have been 1-2 more, however I was never going to win this one, which is what it is. Anyway, Operation: Race to the Bottom was in full effect!

Next up: DWARFS

INCOMING CRABS 🦀

Or rather, they arrived a while ago, but haven’t been batrepped for unknown reasons … Bloodfire is still on hiatus while I explore fresher avenues, however I wanted to give some coverage to my current army, plus those that come after this one, and this seems like a decent, agnostic place to do it.

So welcome to the new, expanded, ad-free blood-fire.com!

CRABS (FEB 2020) – Big boys by Mierce, tiny lads by Khurasan, token Hadross dude by CMON

Late September 2019, I finished up a new crab-themed Trident Realm army, just a couple days before the Crossroads GT (which was a 2250 point KOW 2E team event). I played a practice game the night before against a team mate, crushing his new Nightstalkers with the fury of a bunch of crustaceans (GAME 1: NIGHTSTALKERS). And with practice out of the way – I had literally never played the army before! – we got a few hours sleep and headed into the event. The list I took for that first outing:

Trident Realm 2250 (2E)
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Gigas Horde*
Gigas Horde*
Kraken
Kraken
Kraken
Naiad Envoy – Aura of Heroism (2), Banner of the Griffin
Depth Horror Eternal – Inspiring Talisman
Depth Horror Eternal – Orcish Skullpole
Naiad Wyrmrider Centurion – Fire-Oil
*King Crabs

As captain of Team Cuddle Time II, I was vaguely in charge of working out which armies would go up against each other and/or what scenarios they would play, so I had some control over who and what my crabs faced. My goal for the team was to put myself into harder armies but ideally with better scenarios for my Trident … which was total conjecture since I didn’t really know what they could do! Here’s the briefest of recaps:

GAME 2: ELVES

NWC and Kraken doing terrible things to Elf Archers!

 

Couldn’t tell you what the mission was or how things broke down, but holy hell I won! Biggest revelation was that massed heartpiercers are really good at killing big monsters, as his dragon was deleted in a couple turns as it tried to harry my flanks and rear.

GAME 3: KINGDOMS OF MEN

Kraken resolutely face-tanking a charge from a Knight horde!

Knight-heavy (like 2x hordes + regiments + flying heroes) men largely controlled this game, however through the magic of ensnare + hindering the crabs were able to bog down his momentum and smash their way to an inconceivable draw.

GAME 4: BASILEANS

Another fast army, this time 2x Elohi, 2x Uh-Elohi, 1-2x Knights, token foot troops, Gnaeus Sallustis annnnnd the mega-dragon (who is now just the normal dragon). I should have gotten wrecked, however he was extremely caught up in the dance a Kraken and his dragon were having in some woods, where I kept turning or stepping into and out of wood templates and he had to keep over-analyzing LOS and what was going on over there, all while taking continual Heartpiercer damage. Preposterously I won this one too!

GAME 5: UNDEAD

Crabs busting ghosts!

Dawn of Day 2, and while Team Cuddle Time II wasn’t doing stellar (our Varangur player was getting paired up against very hard armies, and pretty consistently getting smashed for his troubles), my Trident Realm was on a real tear! Up against Undead next, a rather standard 2E affair with some hordes, some knights, some wraith troops, some barrow wights, a dragon, etc. Lowlight was a Kraken getting trapped by Wraiths and dismantled – one troop to the front, then more to the flank, then another to the rear! But otherwise the dragon was shot down and the punchy crabs punched hard, with a somewhat lucky Gigas + Gigas + Eternal charge into a fresh horde that helped me roll his flank up and maul through the rest of the Undead line. Another win!

GAME 6: UNDEAD

“Craaaaaab meeeeeeaaat”

Final round of the tournament, and another Undead grinder for me. Main difference here is the abundance of zombies and zombie trolls. I was in control of this game early on, thanks to shooting, but I still remember how, instead of waiting for Turn 3 to engage, when the zombie trolls had been shot off, I jumped the guns and sent the Kraken all in Turn 2, which got most of them killed – including one to multiple wraith troop charges, again. Once the big hammers were down, I scrabbled as best I could but was overrun, earning the armies first loss.

All told, it was a pretty heartening first six games with the scuttlers! Really quite unexpected … although a bit tarnished as the 3E changes for Trident Realm had been previewed the day before the event, and it was clear that almost all the units I was using were going to lose their COK19 bumps. I had a feeling 3E was about to get bumpy for my new army.


Some KOW-less weeks later, the new edition hit, confirming some particularly distressing developments:

  1. Heartpiercers became irregular, making my 2E list illegal and ensuring I will always hurt for unlocks
  2. Heartpiercers lost ensnare, pathfinder and 2 attaks, for the benefit of steady aim, which gutted the reason I based an army around these little, mobile tarpits happy to grab a 24 attak flank when able
  3. Gigas went up to a larger base, making them unwieldy but more importantly meaning I had to paint more of them and rebase the unit (they also lost 1 CS but gained 1 Def and kept their King Crabs Sp, so meh; the added nimble has yet to matter for me)
  4. Kraken lost 3 attaks, severely hurting their abilities as hammers, ironically at the same time as they gained +D3″ charge range

At first I added a Wyrmrider horde for a third hero unlock, but man they suck now. In my first 3E game I lost against Ogres (GAME 7: OGRES):

Then over Wintermas I leant my brother my Ratkin, who brutally beat me at dominate (GAME 8: RATKIN), but then the next day I narrowly squeaked out a win in raze (GAME 9: RATKIN):

With a 3E win under my belt at last, I took on my clubmate’s Abyssals (GAME 10: FORCES OF THE ABYSS), losing again but at least keeping it close:

Meanwhile, my buddy had finally relented to my arm twisting, picked up a load of Mantic minis and smashed through a Northern Alliance army in record time. In short order he hit 2300 points and found himself facing crabs every other week or so. While I won the first match (GAME 11: NORTHERN ALLIANCE), and his first game of full size Kings –

– Trident’s pillowy fists would come up to haunt me, as I lost both of the next two games (GAME 12: NORTHERN ALLIANCE & GAME 13: NORTHERN ALLIANCE). Including this gem:

Aye, that’s a Kraken (with 2 loot tokens) being flanked by Huscarls (with 2 loot tokens) and Half-Elf Berserkers. While the Kraken is in that predicament because I rolled double ones, the North did not repay the favor 😥 Nor did I ever get those 4 loot tokens away from the Huscarls.

Which brings us up to last week! February 22-23 was the US Masters here in New York, and there was a side GT called the Best of the Rest for, well, the rest of us who wanted to scrum and soak up that Masters vibe. I took my freshly reduxed crabs with me and ended up taking a lot of photos with the intent to blog. So strap in, tournament report inbound!

Side Note: Since I’m covering reports for different armies on this blog now, you’ll be able to use the new Category feature >> to more easily select which army you want to follow. Though I do tend to avoid bouncing between armies, it could happen!

GAME 35: FORCES OF NATURE

Team Cuddle Time finally slumps its way to the final round, beaten and bruised but still kicking. Team MERC greets us with open arms and one last fist to the gut. I end up paired vs a Nature player who I’’ve played three times now at each GT Bloodfire has gone to. In that time he’s learned a lot about target prioritization, scenario play, and so on, and his list is much more tuned now than it was a mostly Wood Elves legacy force.

And let’s admit it, I just wanted to put Fire up against Water ;D

CROSSROADS GAME 5: TEAM MERC

– Forces of Nature vs Salamanders
– The Herd vs Orcs
– Ratkin vs Night-Stalkers
– Orcs vs Ogres

BLOODFIRE GAME 35: FORCES OF NATURE

Forces of Nature 2250

Salamanders Horde – Scrying Gem
Water Elemental Horde
Water Elemental Horde
Water Elemental Horde
Winged Unicorn – Heal (7), Lightning Bolt (5), Bane Chant (2)
Winged Unicorn – Heal (7), Lightning Bolt (5), Bane Chant (2)
The Green Lady – Heal (8)
Beast of Nature – Lightning Bolt (6), Fly + Sp 7, Vicious + At 7
Beast of Nature – Lightning Bolt (6), Fly + Sp 7, Vicious + At 7
Beast of Nature – Lightning Bolt (6), Fly + Sp 7, Vicious + At 7

Yep, spammy min/max Nature, but I can’t fault him. I can fault Mantic for not nerfing Beasts yet (COK19 plz!), there’s something wrong about a unit that can literally do anything it wants and is always fielded in pairs or trios. I have fought a lot of Beasts, and I guess my suggestion would be -1 De if you select lightning (ala the shooty Death Engine) or flatout only being able to select two upgrades. Flying laser turret? Awesome, you don’t get to flank the living hell out of things too. Rampaging combat missile? Fantastic, you don’t get to also have amazing shooting on demand. Plodding laser turret looking for late game beatdowns? I love it, but you’re not gonna see that until flying is really nerfed.

Anyway, fifth round ended up Control, which is rough against those flying US1 shooting things. I think I chose to go first, out of a burning desire to get shot less and get into his zone at some point.

BATTLE

The Bloodfire rolls out over hill and dale!

Nature virtually doesn’t move, content to gather the lightning and let the fire come. Lasers blast away the rightmost Ember Sprites and singe the central regiment.

The red tide flows forward, with the charred Sprites enjoying a martyr’s prayer and tossing some chip damage on the central Water Elementals. Meanwhile a misdeployed Fire Elemental horde surges across the backfield to be relevant later.

Nature again barely moves at all, with just the Beasts working some angles. The Green Lady knows what the Bloodfire wants, and that her troops outrange them in both combat and shooting. With a contemptuous flick of her wrist, the Lady has her pets direct all their lightning at the towering Fire Drake on the hill. He explodes in a shower of molten gore!

Gritting her teeth, the Herald of the Bloodfire has her charges force the issue, moving into charge range across the line. Ember Sprites vomit on the central Water Elementals or secure the field for the late game score.

Suddenly released, two of the Water hordes crash into one Fire horde, as the pack of Beasts hop the Salamanders and enter the danger zone.

Lightning pounds into the Fire horde on the left flank, but 5 damage isn’’t enough to stop their advance. In combat the Water hordes pummel 10 damage into the Fire Elementals however they retain their forms.

Already in Turn 4, Bloodfire can finally strike back, but will it be enough? The flanking Fire horde makes it into its watery counterpart (and is prayed down to 1 damage and bane-chanted as this is a tough ask of them), with Sprites providing flanking support (lulz). One of the central Water hordes is hit in flank and front by Fire hordes, while the courageous Fire Elementals tackle the other Water horde.

Bloodfire dice roll cold and all of the Nature targets stand. Agnes speared some damage onto a Beast but likewise to no great effect. This is especially disheartening knowing the level of regen and heal available to the enemy . . .

The Forces of Nature properly tighten the noose with a bevy of charges: Water + 2 flanking Beasts into the leftmost Fire horde (!), Unicorn into their Sprites’ flank, Water hordes into the undamaged central Fire hordes.

The Beasts smash apart the flanking Fire Elementals and the Unicorn scatters the Sprites (*golf clap*), however the center holds better than expected, including the damaged Fire horde holding despite the lightning barrage of the central Beast. Unfortunately a lot of damage is pulled off of the previously damaged Water horde.

Bloodfire 5 is as violent as ever, with the grind continuing in board center and an overwhelming amount of firepower aimed at the undamaged Beast on the left . . .

That Beast is decimated with extreme prejudice by Agnes’ death ray and 20 elite fireballs, followed by both central Water hordes being boiled off. There’s a whole hell of lightning still on the board, but fakk if that didn’’t feel good.

The Green Lady sends her horde of Salamanders into the courageous Fire horde, as the Unicorns swoop into the flank of a smoldering Fire horde (*double golf clap*) and Beasts prepare to exorcise the mangled Fire Elementals.

It’s super effective! Or at least the Unicorn hooves and Beast lightning is. The Sallies bounce.

Bloodfire Turn 6 feels like the redementals are well out of this one, yet there’s violence to be had. Agnes and the tall Priest cook a Unicorn for reasons and the Fire Elementals bash 10 damage into the Salamanders.

The winged elements of the Forces of Nature scatter to their designated scoring zones as the Salamanders bounce off the fresh Fire Elementals. With no Turn 7 it’’s a solid . . .

BLOODFIRE LOSS

It was cool to go up against this player again and see how far his skills have come, and also pretty neat to have an Elemental Off, and in fact a Reaper-minis-painted-basically-one-color-on-tan-bases off XD


RED VS BLUE

I do think Beasts of Nature are OP and really unpleasant to play against, and I sort of wish Nature armies weren’’t so often this min/maxed affair were you just take the best things, and multiples of them if they shoot lightning. But then again I’’ve also played against non-min/maxed fluffy Nature and consistently torn them to shreds, so who knows. Maybe the Beast is just the crutch of the army? And one you gradually work out? Again ala Death Engines for rats.

Anyway, while I don’t know the final standings for Crossroads 2018 I’m sure Cuddle Time was quite far down there, given our in-game performance at the very least. All the same, it continues to be a great event with great players and I’m happy I could make this year. It sounds like next year is teams again, which I’m grudgingly ok with – I totally prefer the simplicity of single player tournaments and the clarity of how matchups are done, but the increased camaraderie of team tournaments is fun, and I enjoyed making swag for our team (CUDDLE TIME t-shirts, DTC wristbands, cutesy display boards).

GAME 34: LEAGUE OF RHORDIA

After taking another full house of losses, Cuddle Time came up against another incestual team made up of the rest of our club and Unplugged’s (and named after one of our clubmates). Pairing into double Varangur was rough, especially as they put up both at once! So a couple dudes got tossed under the eevil Viking steamroller while I played one of my favorite guys and his fabulously painted Rhordia, which has been transitioning towards Halflings and away from its Empire roots for a couple years now.

CROSSROADS GAME 4: TEAM JOHN HOLST HAS A POSSE

– League of Rhordia vs Salamanders
– Varangur vs Night-Stalkers
– Abyssal Dwarfs vs Ogres
– Varangur vs Orcs

BLOODFIRE GAME 34: LEAGUE OF RHORDIA

League of Rhordia 2250

Halfling Braves Regiment – War Bow
Halfling Scouts Troop
Halfling Scouts Troop
Crossbow Regiment
Household Knights Regiment – Cat Potion
Household Knights Regiment – Mace of Crushing
Halfling Ranger Cavalry Troop
Honor Guard Horde – Brew of Haste
Halfling Volley Gun
Halfling Iron Beast
Duke on Horse – Diadem of Dragonkind
Duke on Horse – Hand Grenades
Duke on Ancient Winged Aralez – Heal (4), Blade of Slashing
Wizard on Horse – Fireball (6), Lightning Bolt (3), Bane Chant (2), Inspiring Talisman
Halfling Master Sergeant – Banner of the Griffin, Bow

Beautiful army with a lot of neat stuff going on. Not built to tear faces off but loads of tools, which I respect.

I send us into Dominate yet again, because Bloodfire? Pretty sure he made me go first, for plenty of good reasons.

BATTLE


Battlelines!

Bloodfire slops forward, burning through the forest sheltering it.

Rhordia rolls out, with small arms fire raining into the Ember Sprites and wavering the ones to the right and left of the tower. The Volley Gun realized it should have scooted up to the wall messing with its LOS but deigned to do so retroactively.

More ebbing from the red tide, with the wavered Sprites gumming things up a little bit. The little Mage-Priest prays the wounds off the Sprites to the left of the tower, and the leftmost Sprites start chipping at the Iron Beast.

Rhordia’s fierce war against short things continues, with minimal movement but lots of aggression directed towards Ember Sprites. The Duke on Aralez scatters the Sprites to the right of the tower while those to the left are shot down, the central Sprites are wavered and the leftmost regiment simply mangled a bit.

Bloodfire’s response is limited but, well, incandescent. The line moves up as much as the wavered Sprites allow, preparing as best as possible for the Aralez lurking on the right flank. The little Priest pulls the wound off of the leading Fire Elemental horde, but the real player to watch this turn is Agnes toeing into the central wood. After taking the usual token damage from the Ember Sprites, the Honor Guard are rocked by a full power death ray, taking something like 10 damage from Agnes! The rout check goes well and the Rhordian chocobo hammer is one-rounded. Damn.


Fweeeeeem!

With a collective intake of breath, the Rhordian line backs up from the legendary fire elemental. Shooting strafes the front of the Bloodfire line, dropping the central Sprites, wounding the leading Fire horde and the last of the chaff.

Turn 4 means we stoke the fires and get aggressive. The wounded Fire horde launches out of the red crescent, intent to do some damage to the Iron Beast and bring the enemy into range of the rest of the inferno. The surviving Sprites block at least some of their flank (or something), the little Priest prays them down to 2 damage and the tall Priest heals the little Priest to 4. Agnes cooks some damage into the Knights on the left flank (who I’m pretty sure did not have pathfinder, despite the woods they’re headed into), followed by the central Fire Elementals doing a pretty terrible job of hurting the Iron Beast. Ah well.

The Duke orders a charge from the back of his Aralez, sending Rhordia’s finest crashing into both ends of the wall of living fire, including daring flank charges by Halfling infantry (https://imgur.com/Hhfj8Mk).

Damage splashes across the Bloodfire battleline, but shockingly only the last of the Ember Sprites are routed (and presumably eaten by Halfling Scouts ). Yes, the Aralez flubbed its flank charge pretty badly (I’m told they do that? Tis a weird beastie), and the triple-charged Fire horde was snake eyes’d!

Bloodfire retaliation is brutal, if somewhat intentionally short-sighted (more on that later): Agnes counters her knights, the Fire Elementals to the right take on their blocking Duke, the smoldering Fire horde and the courageous horde double-charge the other knights, the next Fire horde tackles the Volley Gun that finally set up on the wall and the final horde counters the Aralez (with the help of bane chant from the tall Priest). The CLOFD vomit-cannons the Duke near the Volley Gun, wavering him, and the little Priest pulls a tight 6 damage off of Agnes.

After a lot of pummeling, the Aralez is mangled, the Volley Gun is dead, the central Knights are embarrassingly fine (some very sad rolling), the blocking Duke is wavered, but Agnes steals the show again by hammering her Knights into molten scrap with ~8 damage off of 9 attaks. Sweet hell’s teeth, girlfriend!

It’s Rhordia Turn 5 and things are a bit of a mess, but the Halflings are in command more than it may seem. Wavered Dukes scoot around backwards as another round of mass charges is declared: Aralez + flanking Halfling Cav into the right Fire horde, surviving Knights into the courageous Fire horde, Iron Beast + flanking Halfling Braves back into the rapidly-dissipating Fire horde, and the true heroes, Halfling Scouts into Agnes.

On the whole, things don’t go super great damage-wise, but that’s almost not the point this late in the game. All the Fire hordes stick around and Agnes is not disrupted.

Turn 6, Bloodfire is light on options so chooses violence, knowing that this is going to come down to a Turn 7 roll off. The right Fire horde counters the Aralez, the obstacle-riding Fire horde hits the blocking Duke (with no angle for overrun), the CLOFD + courageous Fire horde take on the central Knights, the central Fire horde hits another blocking Duke, and Agnes deigns to charge the Halflings, preferring to shoot them [Mistake? Because of their stealthy, math suggests she does more in combat, as well as I guess disordering them if that mattered]. The little Priest pulled the 3 damage off the central Fire horde, knowing their Target #1 for scoring the zone. Tall Priest bane changed the Fire Elementals fighting the Aralez.

With the exception of Agnes, who couldn’t laser off some Halflings despite obliterating multiple heavy knight units this game, things go well: the Aralez is roasted, the Knights are baked and one of two Dukes is dispatched (the important one in the center). I possibly made another mistake here, as I didn’t even try to overrun into the Braves, which would have been a significant swing in unit strength and not preposterously far away. Although a failed overrun would have left the horde flanked by the Iron Beast and out of a Turn 7 contest.

Rhordia mobilizes for the center, double-charging the central Fire Elementals with those accursed Braves + Iron Beast.

Shooting drops the courageous Fire horde, but combat can’t put paid to the Bloodfire units in the dominate zone . . .

. . . but they’re not enough to overcome the swarm of Halflings! However, Sallies are well-placed for a Turn 7 sweep, if only the turn die had been as well. So that’s a . . .

BLOODFIRE LOSS

This was a great game that I felt shifted firmly into my hands with that snake eyes and then fell out again when I lost all that momentum the next turn with the combo-charge into the Knights flubbing. All the same, Peyton is one of my favorite opponents, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every second of Agnes being a gods damned legend.

PS: Here’s a better shot of the Aralez ‘Dirty Birdy’ (https://imgur.com/odzvXlu) and some adorable Halflings riding goats (https://imgur.com/PlhnKpF). Bless.

Up Next: MERC

GAME 33: ABYSSAL DWARFS

Coming off that big win we were up against one of our sister club’s teams, which included our club’s fearless leader by a cruel twist of fate! We were probably going to get creamed again but at least it would be at the hands of great gents with pretty armies.

CROSSROADS GAME 3: TEAM UNPLUGGED RADIO

– Abyssal Dwarfs vs Salamanders
– Night Stalkers vs Night Stalkers (YESSSSSS)
– League of Rhordia vs Orcs
– Forces of the Abyss vs Ogres

BLOODFIRE GAME 33: ABYSSAL DWARFS

Abyssal Dwarfs 2250

Blacksouls Horde – Brew of Strength
Decimators Regiment*
Decimators Regiment*
Slave Orcs Horde
Gargoyles Troop
Gargoyles Troop
Abyssal Halfbreeds Regiment – Dwarven Ale
Abyssal Grotesques Horde – Brew of Sharpness
Dragon Fire-Team
Angkor Heavy Mortar
Angkor Heavy Mortar
Angkor Heavy Mortar
Overmaster* – Wings of Honeymaze
Slavedriver – Lute of Insatiable Darkness
Ba’su’su the Vile
*Heralds of the Black Flame Formation

I put myself against Abyssal Dwarfs because a) this dude is the last of the Unplugged Gamers I haven’t played; and b) I rarely face AD and we more or less do similar things, so should be a proper grind. Also I made the Night Stalkers face each other because I could ;D

We ended up playing Eliminate. Abyssal Dwarfs took the initiative.

BATTLE

Battlelines!

Turn 3 as our flanks swirl into each other. His fast wing is pretty gummed up behind stuff, including Gargoyles that refuse to die, while my heavy right flank has little to do until it crashes into his hordes and obliterates them. Along the way I scoop up a token and he grabs one of mine and sits on the middle, currently giving him the win.

Here’s the setup as we go into my Turn 6. The Grotesques in the middle have a token and are sitting on the central objective, however Agnes is my only real active piece since my last Fire Elementals are blocked by individuals. But Agnes is one hell of a piece, and my Mage-Priests are unengaged and ready to rock as well.

As the hordes pummel the individuals, the girls descend on the Grots. Fireballs are nice and all, but it’s Agnes’ death ray that brutalizes the mega cav up to 16 damage.

Yep. Snake eyes and I’ve lost the game despite the hail mary. BUT THEN THERE’S A TURN 7!

This is after his turn – the lower Fire horde is so far forward because it ate the Overlord and overran. The Grots toppled Agnes and backed up, while the units try to mess with the Elementals for no luck.

In response the lower Fire horde murders the Halfbreeds out of spite, the upper ones faff against the Decimators and Ba’su’su absorbs the CLOFD’s aggression and continues to be a beast.* While I gained some needed points in that Turn 7 it was still a . . .

BLOODFIRE LOSS

*The reason you’re not seeing the CLOFD + surviving Priest blast the mangled Grots (12 wounds after regen) is because I stupidly corkscrewed past the Halfbreeds into the Grots with the lower Fire horde and proceeded to smash them in combat, winning the game UNTIL another Unplugged dude asked WTF I was doing and I realized Fire Elementals can’t fly :’( And were disordered if they could 😛 So we rolled that combat as against the Halfbreeds, without backing the game out to shooting, which would have given me another shot at the Grots, although if I’m remembering Eliminate scoring right it wouldn’t have mattered as I couldn’t put a model on the center point nor one-round the Halfbreeds.

Up Next: JOHN HOLST HAS A POSSE

GAME 32: ABYSSALS

After our beatdown at the hands of STG we plummeted down to the bottom and faced Beef & Wings, a crew of 40k players with limited KOW experience, great attitudes and plentiful margaritas ❤ A wonderful follow-up all told.

CROSSROADS GAME 2: TEAM BEEF & WINGS

– Forces of the Abyss vs Salamanders
– Night Stalkers vs Ogres
– Night Stalkers vs Orcs
– ??? vs Night Stalkers

BLOODFIRE GAME 32: ABYSSALS

Abyssals 2250

Gargoyles Troop
Gargoyles Troop
Gargoyles Troop
Gargoyles Troop
Abyssal Guard Regiment
Abyssal Guard Regiment
Abyssal Horsemen Regiment – Blessing of the Gods
Abyssal Horsemen Regiment – Cat Potion
Abyssal Horsemen Regiment – Fire-Oil
The Lord of Lies – Lightning Bolt (7)
The Well of Souls
Archfiend of the Abyss – Drain Life (6), Brew of Haste, Wings

A weird list with some truly frightening flying monsters. As you’ll see I continually underestimated the Lord of Lies . . . Worth noting that this was the player’s second game of KOW using physical minis. Respect.

Second round was Push (1 token), and whoever won initiative the Abyssals headed out first.

BATTLE


Battlelines! Lord of Lies = white GUO, Well = swirly mutalith vortex, Archfiend = Belakor! Salamander push token is on a central Fire Elemental horde and Abyssal token is on the Well.

Abyssals roll out! Lord of Lies and Archfiend pound down the right flank as the cavalry gallop in towards the flank of fire.

Bloodfire sludge forward, Sprites voyaging out for a proper chaff-off with all of those Gargoyles.

The Abyssals close further, while some Gargs pounce on the rightmost Sprites, doing 5 damage and wavering them.

Sallies pounce on the Abyssal chaff, sending Fire + Sprites into one, Fire into another and dispatching Agnes to laser off the ones harrying the Sprites. Yet more Sprites scoop up the central push counter as the rest of the red tide flows forward.

The Gargoyles do not survive ;D And the little Mage prays all 5 wounds off of those Sprites.

The Abyssals strike back, Guard charging Sprites and more Guard combo-charging the extended Fire Elementals with some Horsemen, while the final Gargoyles swoop down on those same Sprites on the right flank. Off shot the Archfiend starts to round the building in the Bloodfire zone, tagging the little Mage with his lightning and popping her.

The Guards drive off their Sprites, however the Gargoyles do a single damage to theirs and the Fire horde absorbs 10 damage and holds – possibly without inspiring in range!

The pummeling intensifies as the left Abyssal Guard are slammed by two hordes of Fire Elementals, the Guard next to them are counter-charged by the wounded horde, and the last of the Gargoyles are plowed into by Agnes and those besieged Sprites. The Sprites give their token to the courageous Fire horde. The CLOFD gets double bane-chanted and vomits on the left Horsemen for a few damage.

Combat is fairly expected, with the double-charged Guard melted, the counter-charged Guard relatively fine and the Gargoyles snatched from the air and splattered by Agnes and her tiny friends.

Abyssal Turn 4 starts with the Well pulling the damage off the wounded Horsemen, who flank the wounded Fire Elementals as the Guard head back into their front. They drive their elemental foes up to 17 damage but snake eyes the rout! The Lord of Lies tackles Agnes for 2 damage and the rightmost Horsemen finish off those accursed Sprites.

Fire Elementals mob the Abyssal Guard, reducing them to a whiff of brimstone. Agnes and the courageous Fire horde slam the Lord of Lies but can’t even manage to waver him (8 damage?), and the Fire horde who was lucky enough to charge the Archfiend smash a sterling 9 damage into him but again can’t even waver. In less violent news, the big Mage heals Agnes for 1 damage and the CLOFD pukes a few more wounds into the same Horsemen from before.

Turn 5 begins with the Well cleaning up the Horsemen again . . . and my heart dropping as Agnes is flanked by the Archfiend and counter-charged by the Lord of Lies. The healed Horsemen charge into the mangled Fire Elementals and the courageous horde takes a charge from a fresh Horsemen regiment.

Agnes doesn’t make it. Nor does that Fire horde up top, although the courageous horde is fine.

Fire Elementals rage, swarming those Horsemen up top, counter-charging the central Horsemen and heading into the Archfiend for vengeance. The Well comes under fire from the CLOFD and the big Mage bane-chants the horde about to slag the Archfiend.

The Archfiend and the surrounded Horsemen get pulped. The central Horsemen merely get batted around.

Abyssal Turn 6 sees the Well absorb the central Horsemen damage and charge the token-holding Sprites (who picked it up from the courageous horde at some point), looking to tip the objective game. The Lord of Lies scoots his little base into the flank of the courageous horde (!) as Horsemen charge their front

A thrilling success: Sprites are eaten, healing the Well in the process, and the Lord + Horsemen disperse the Nv 19 Fire horde.

Bloodfire snaps shut on the remnants of the Abyssals, CLOFD + flanking Fire horde grabbing the Well, another Fire horde flanking the Horsemen, and yet more Fire Elementals charging the Lord for another round.

*boom*

Turn 7 happens! The final Horsemen charge the Fire horde with the Well’s token, doing a respectable 8 damage but bouncing. They get flanked + fronted by Fire Elementals and melted to slag.

BLOODFIRE VICTORY

And big wins for all of Team Cuddle Time, thanks Beef & Wings!

Up Next: UNPLUGGED RADIO

GAME 31: ELVES

Crossroads GT this year was a four-man team tourney, which basically meant it was a standard 2250 COK18 event with an added minigame where captains haggled over who got to play whom and what scenarios they’d use. I never really got the hang of the process, and I’m still not confident I got any of them right, but our team was intentionally pretty weak and we were just there to cuddle.

TEAM CUDDLE TIME
– Salamanders (fire elemental / breath weapon spam)
– Night-Stalkers (blood worm legion + mind screech spam)
– Ogres (balanced with chariots + boomers)
– Orcs (balanced with chariots + boomers)

For our first game we played STG, and during matchups I took the worst matchup on myself, to save my teammates the displeasure of playing a brutal af Elf list.

CROSSROADS GAME 1: TEAM STG

– Elves vs Salamanders
– Dwarfs vs Orcs
– Varangur vs Ogres
– ??? vs Night Stalkers

BLOODFIRE GAME 31: ELVES

Salamanders 2250

Fire Elemental Horde – Brew of Courage
Fire Elemental Horde
Fire Elemental Horde
Fire Elemental Horde
Fire Elemental Horde
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ember Sprite Regiment
Agnih-Bhanu, Greatest Fire Elemental
Herald – Banner of the Griffin
Mage-Priest – Surge (8), Heal (3), Bane Chant (2), Inspiring Talisman
Mage-Priest – Martyr’s Prayer (7), Bane Chant (2), Healing Brew
Clan Lord on Fire Drake – Blessing of the Gods

Hot sauce board with hot tamale dispenser created for the event ;D All my team did cute patterned cloth boards instead of using our display bases, which wouldn’t have matched anyway.

Not too mind-exploding of a list tweak, just a pip of Nv on the special horde as opposed to a diadem that I used in 2/5 games at Keystone. These dudes were always overextending and taking it on the chin, so more survival is more better. Extra points went into BC on the inspiring priest, which seems like a nutty number of spells (4!) but then again I found I occasionally wanted to throw some more BC out however the little priest was busy martyring things and couldn’t be bothered to chant things. I’d rather have the option than not, and frankly if I didn’t have all those shambling hordes I wouldn’t be taking surge at all, it’s really there for that once a game spin-and-charge.
Elves 2250

Kindred Archer Horde – Heart-seeking Chant
Kindred Archer Horde – Wine of Elvenkind
Stormwind Cavalry Regiment – Cat Potion
Drakon Rider Horde – Brew of Sharpness
Drakon Rider Horde – Brew of Strength
Dragon Breath
Dragon Breath
Dragon Breath
Elven Mage – Heal (3), Bane Chant (2), Black Iron Crown
Noble War Chariot – Inspiring Talisman
Dragon Kindred Lord – Chant of Hate

So this list was designed by the TO and being piloted by an AOS player who had started KOW about two weeks before. This was exceedingly painful to face, and the guy was apologetic, as it turned out much nastier than he anticipated and he spent the weekend apologizing to everybody as a result. Fun Fact: he did lose one match, vs some hero in round five.

I gave us Dominate, one of my stronger scenarios, though honestly I should have done Invade if I really wanted a chance at the draw, as I could have refused the flank. Bloodfire won initiative.

BATTLE


Battlelines!

Bloodfire takes a deep breath and rolls out.

Bam! Elves Turn 1 and the pincers form. The left two Sprites are blown away by Archers.

With few other options, the red tide pushes further into the center, while preparing to engage on the left. The cheeky rightmost Sprites enter the woods and barf a wound on the Noble Chariot.

The Elves take up position . . .

. . . and bring the heat. Shockingly none of the Fire Elemental hordes pop, despite significant damage.

Sally 3 sees me pull a trick from that last game with Elves: I overextend to entice him to engage with his dragon, so I can maul it at the cost of a horde, by charging one of the offered Dragon Breaths. Otherwise my mages heal / pray a die of damage off the mangled horde while Sprites puke a wound off the other central Dragon Breath. Its sister is pulped by the Fire horde, which foolishly doesn’t reform to face the Dragon – I hear the voice of my last Elf opponent saying I shouldn’t be afraid of Archers rearing me, they’ve got better things to do.

The Elves pounce! Which wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also shoot, bringing the Fire Elementals with Brew of Courage (the quadruple elemental unit) up to 13 and popping them (@ 19 Nv) – removing the dragon’s reprisal – and putting a stunning 9 damage into Agnes.

In combat the Dragon shreds its wounded quarry, the Sprites flanked by the Noble annoyingly waver, and the Stormwind do a solid 9 damage to their Fire horde but bounce.

Bloodfire returns the favor where able, sending Fire + Agnes in the flank into the Stormwind and flanking the Noble in chariot.

The CLOFD tags 3 damage into the Dragon, the little Mage prays a solid 6 damage off of Agnes, and Elves get dead in the combat phase, earning me at least 1 VP whatever happens.

With their keen eyes and pointy ears, the Elves spy double overruns I didn’t see – and am fakking furious with myself for. I hate when I do these things, as they’re entirely avoidable. Anyway, Dragon -> big Mage -> Fire horde’s rear and Drakon -> little Mage -> 5” overrun into CLOFD’s flank. Oh, also other Drakon into fresh Fire horde.

The Drakon’s evaporate the little Mage and slam a 6” on the overrun, flanking and obliterating the CLOFD as well (which was not such a sure bet, considering hindering and whatever . . . except that his dice were on fire the whole game, and apparently every game of the tournament; he apologized some more but in my experience Elf players always have hot dice, go figure).

The big Mage is devoured and the Fire horde stomped out by the Dragon, while the other Drakon roll like insane baby dragons and do 11 to their Fire horde, who somehow hold. Worst of all though? Agnes is gunned down by Dragon Breath + bane-chanted piercing Archers. Sweet hell.

Bloodfire 5, for vengeance! A wounded Fire horde smashes another Dragon Breath while a more wounded one puts 2 (!) wounds on their Drakon. Coincidentally that’s the same number of wounds the remaining Sprites do to the other Drakon.

It’s an orgy of violence as the Elves pull the noose tight and kick out the supports. Some Archers flank and pop a Fire horde (*golf clap for style points, young sir*), other Archers scatter some Sprites, Drakons eat the remaining Sprites, more Drakons finish off their mangled Fire horde annnnd the Dragon eats the Herald, putting an end to the spicy scourge.

BLOODFIRE LOSS

So yea. That was rough. I also can’t remember being tabled in a tournament game of KOW, let alone in Turn 5! The dude’s next opponent was likewise tabled, and was seen wandering the hall in a daze, muttering to himself, “”But . . . I’’ve never been tabled. Ever . . .””

The team as a whole did very badly, with 1 losing draw, 2 loses with 1 VP (me!) and one total loss. Oof.

Up Next: BEEF & WINGS