As the tournament was being held offsite from the hotel, shenanigans were kept to a dull roar after day one wrapped and we collectively feasted. All too soon, it was time to rejoin the battle for the Mid-Atlantic. Having gone 1-2, my Herd were drifting down the standings, but I was gunning for that day two rally to shore my record up.
I almost never face Goblins, so that’s cool, but these gobs are being piloted by Steve Forster of Dash28 fame! I do enjoy throwing down with people I recognize from the Internet. Steve’s list seemed fine, free of the really egregious shooting spam I’ve heard about and a little more interested in fighting than being trash (i.e. two Troll hordes and double Slashers). The Slashers were the biggest wild card for me, having been freshly buffed in Clash 2023 and a unit I really like in theory.
We played Salt the Earth I think, except neither of us wanted to burn any so we basically played Pillage 😛 I did not go first this game! But not by choice 😉
BATTLE
I approached this game like most of my Herd games: junk wanders forward to prepare counters from my slower hammers, while my Lycan super-hammer hunts down a flank and applies pressure, with the Stampede forcing enemy hammers back. Versus Goblins this seems to run into an awkward situation where they too have a bunch of garbage pushing forward or holding objectives, except instead of hammers they mostly have short range guns. The twist here is that Slashers are very very good, IMO, and Steve’s dice were especially kind to them, in combat or when trumpeting.
The play of the game for me was spotting a Troll flank with my Lycans at almost full charge, which they nimbled into and suddenly Steve has a Lycan horde in his rear. I made the choice to reform the Lycans towards Steve’s center, rather than clean up the left entirely, but then was chaffed and lost the big worm’s targets. My other hammers similarly suffered to get much momentum going – I’d kill a thing, get shot, maybe wavered out of combat (I have a lot of fury that does nothing in that case), maybe fight again, but I’m bleeding to death and the Goblins don’t care. Come end game, I once again have very little left to score, while the Goblins have more than enough to take it.
HALLOW LOSS (4-9)
I don’t know how Steve got 9 points? It definitely doesn’t look like a draw in those last photos! All the same, well played by Steve and I seriously underestimated the Slashers throughout, and paid the price.
GAME 5: LEAGUE OF RHORDIA
Honour Guard Horde Honour Guard Horde Foot Guard Horde (or Dogs of War?) Knights Regiment Knights Regiment Pole-Arms Regiment Pole-Arms Regiment Halfling Archers Regiment Halfling Archers Regiment Battle Shrine [1] Duke on Ancient Winged Aralez Duke Hetronburg [1] Duke on Horse Baron 14(29)
I don’t have John’s list but this is my best recreation. There are 90 points of upgrades missing, which feels right between all the Indomitable Wills and typical upgrades for cavalry or hammers. John was a super nice dude, and a very low key end to the event. If not on the bottom table, we weren’t far from it!
We played Invade to finish the tournament out. The Hallow took the initiative, for a solid four out of five first turns to me. Not bad.
BATTLE
My memory of this game is the weakest of all of them, but I certainly took a lot of photos! Partially because John’s army looked great. The gist of this match is that I woefully undersupported the left flank – the Stampede wasn’t intended to crash through all that fast stuff, but without backup or hot dice it probably wasn’t going to do much, so was essentially delaying the hammers as long as possible … except it’s Invade, so I’m also just letting US3+ walk across the center line and win the game.
On the right, I needed to keep his knights penned in to get my Brutes into play, which only half worked (I wonder if that horde is Dogs of War? To have blunted the Brute charge or clapped back so hard). Plus my Lycans weren’t able to trade for even one knight regiment, a shameful turn of events to be sure. Duke Hetronburg also proved a real thorn in my side, with his Ht 4 hard for my short army to keep in check. In the end, the Brutes and the Lycan Alpha survived, however weren’t enough to offset John’s Honor Guard and couple infantry regiments – all three units that started the game in the upper left! Thanks Stampede 😦
HALLOW LOSS (?-?)
If I had to guess, I’d say I picked up another 3-4 points. Despite getting a trickle of points every game, a single win out of five games wasn’t the best feel to leave with. None of my games felt out of my control, even against Ken, but they all spiraled away in the late game as my soft bodies got bogged down or shot. It was also pretty clear to me that Tribal Spears would have been super helpful in all but possibly the Dwarf game, with so many cav hammers kicking around. Spoilers for the lists ahead.
Sorry for the wait on these Herd reports, and for their brevity. I’ll try to keep the momentum up so we can get back to 2024 🤦♂️
I took my Hallow Herd to four grand tournaments in 2023: Dead of Winter (January), The Pilgrimage (March), Orc Town (June) and King Beyond the Wall (August). You can read about my Dead of Winter run already, but my goal is to finish reports for all of these events before the year ends eventually! Strap in, dead readers, slideshows and recaps are incoming.
The Pilgrimage GT (March 4-5) was five games at 2300 points held in Philadelphia, PA. Of note is that this is a different KOW region from my own, so me and a handful of the Northeastern lads would be raiding the Mid-Atlantic for a change. With decidedly mixed results 😅 It’s worth noting that Pilgrimage used Modified Bullshroud scoring, which gave 10-5-1 points for W-D-L with additions for scenario points and attrition earned, not scenario or attrition differential.
HERD 2300 Lycan Horde – Brew of Strength Guardian Brute Horde Guardian Brute Horde Minotaur Chariot Regiment – The Stampede [1] Tribal Warrior Horde – Brew of Sharpness Tribal Warrior Regiment Tribal Warrior Regiment Tribal Warrior Regiment Centaur Bray Striders Troop Centaur Bray Striders Troop Lycan Alpha – Trickster’s Wand; Hex (2) Great Chieftain – Horn of the Great Migration [1] Centaur Chieftain – Blade of Slashing Druid – Conjurer’s Staff; Bane Chant (2), Heal (2) 14 (27)
In the two months and +150 points between Dead of Winter and The Pilgrimage, all I’ve added is a third regiment of Tribal Warriors and given some tasty upgrades (Wand, Staff, Blade) to the support staff. The concept worked great at DOW, why mess with it? Honestly one of the reasons I went to Pilgrimage was because I wanted to play a 2300 singles event. It sounds weird to say, but those are extremely rare in the Northeast region currently, where we do different points levels or doubles instead.
GAME 1: VARANGUR
The Fallen Horde – Chalice of Wrath The Fallen Horde – Brew of Haste Mounted Sons Regiment – Helm of the Drunken Ram, Guise of the Deceiver Mounted Sons Regiment – Boots of Striding, Guise of the Deceiver Night Raiders Regiment – Bows Snow Foxes Regiment Draugr Regiment Draugr Regiment Magus Conclave – Famulus Magus Conclave – Famulus Frost Giant – Giant Club (!) Magnilde of the Fallen [1] Lord on Frostfang – Snow Fox Skald – Lute of Insatiable Darkness 14(21)
Mike had taken a fairly standard fast Varangur list for this event, with an emphasis on punching as hard as possible but with the usual scenario doers and some shooting of his own. I gave him props for taking a Frost Giant outside of Northern Alliance (with rampage no less!), however he assured me that ‘Frosty the Pillow-Fisted Freakshow’ was mostly a liability. I also took a brief moment to laugh in Herd at his Mounted Sons’ investment in stealth 😅 Note that this is before the Northern Alliance buffs, so the Skald doesn’t grant Ordered March (to the Draugr??) and the Frostlord is still on 9 attaks.
We played Pillage, with the 2 point tokens center and just to the left. The Hallow went first, by design.
BATTLE
The Herd grabbed four of the five tokens immediately and implemented Operation: Bait the Giant All Damn Game on the left. On the right, I used the 19″ charge of the Lycans (1″ longer than Mike’s Sp 9 Fallen, thanks to the Horn of the Great Migration) to force the Fallen to engage, which helped me trade hammers until I had cleared all of the Varangur menace from the board.
HALLOW VICTORY(12-1)
What happens when two hammers smash into each other? The faster hammer with more junk wins, I guess! This was a wild start to the GT and catapulted me to the top table 😐
GAME 2: VARANGUR
Human Clansmen Horde – Norj-Bik (De 5+) Mounted Sons Regiment – Guise of the Deceiver Mounted Sons Regiment – Guise of the Deceiver Mounted Sons Regiment – Guise of the Deceiver Night Raiders Regiment – Bows, Wolf Handlers Night Raiders Regiment – Bows, Wolf Handlers Draugr Regiment Draugr Regiment Lord on Frostfang – Chalice of Wrath, Snow Fox Lord on Frostfang – Staying Stone, Snow Fox Magus – Lightning Bolt (4), Drain Life (6) Magus – Lightning Bolt (4), Drain Life (6) Magus – Lightning Bolt (4), Drain Life (6) Kruufnir [1] 14(24)
So this event had two Australian guests in attendance: Ken Ferris (the then Australian Master) and Jeff Traish (the now Australian Master). After dunking Mike, I had the pleasure of facing Ken Freakin’ Ferris 😵 His Varangur had taken several pages from the elven playbook (recall at the time that Gladestalkers of all flavors had just been buffed, so Night Raiders are doing a pseudo-stalker thing, except with smashier friends), emphasizing shooting with very strong counter-punch and a little sustain thanks to the Magus’ transfusion ability. Again, I took a moment to laugh in Herd at the stealthy knights but let’s be real, it was a nervous laugh.
We played Pillage, with Ken I believe getting the side he wanted. Blessedly, the Hallow got the first turn and took it with gusto, since I had so much shooting to wade through. Note that this game was streamed live – I’m not sure where to or if it’s still around tho, so you’ll have to click thru below per usual.
BATTLE
The first half of the game goes great for me, as I start to roll up Ken’s left flank and remove two of three Mounted Sons regiments early on. I jam hard in the center, preparing to grind in my favor as Brutes pound into the Varangur line. I do have some concern when the Stampede’s early charge into the right Draugr completely flubs, letting a Frostlord start breaking them down, but I’m hopeful that that will hold Ken’s right up until help arrives. All told, the opening three turns have been amazing for me, against the Australian Master of all things!
Then Ken takes a moment to psych himself up – “You’re the fucking Master!” (a direct quote) – and slaps back. His Frostlords heat up and his shooting finally doesn’t have swamp monsters punching them in the face, spelling doom for me. The back half of the game is brutal, seeing my squishy dudes shot off and my harder hitters chased down by Frostlords. I end the game with a single Tribal Warriors regiment cowering on an objective, to Ken’s five.
HALLOW LOSS(3-10)
While it was an honor to play Ken, I will forever remember how close I came to cracking him, on the Internet no less 😤 After the event wrapped, he let me know I was his favorite opponent for taking that rise and fall in stride. What a gent.
GAME 3: DWARFS
Berserker Brock Riders Regiment – Boots of Striding Ironguard Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Ironguard Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Ironguard Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Ironguard Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Sharpshooters Troop Sharpshooters Troop Sharpshooters Troop Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment Steel Behemoth – Golloch’s Fury [1] Steel Behemoth Dwarf Lord on Large Beast Dwarf Lord on Large Beast Faber Ironheart [1] 14(24)
I played Joe in the first game of his first Kings of War event (Keystone GT 2018), and it’s been great to see him do better and better as time has gone on. He’s been riding pretty high with Dwarfs as their star has risen, with Pilgrimage continuing that trend. His version of The Dwarf List eschewed the formation to go the Ironguard + Sharpshooter spam route, with the double Beast Lords, second Behemoth and Brocks giving it a bit more of a counter-punch feel than some versions. Note that this is pre-Clash 2024, so none of those Dwarfs have Ordered March. Thank the gods.
Pretty sure we played Control, with the Herd going first one way or another. Joe’s a largely reactive player, so he may have let me take it, but either way I was content to race into the Dwarven castle.
BATTLE
My takeaway from this game was that I shouldn’t have given the Dwarfs exactly what they wanted. Joe was clearly going to castle around the hill in the deployment zone he chose; I should have clearly gone hard on the other flank and swept in, forcing him to turn his lines as I scored the back end of the lower left section. Instead, I attempted to ford the gunfire on the left while hooking in from the right. That isn’t horrible … but became much harder when his totally incompetent Brocks couldn’t chew through the Centaurs escorting my Lycan super hammer into his lines, snaking them twice! When my Lycans finally did fight, they flopped hard (5 damage instead of 10 with a 3 to rout), dying for their efforts and leaving the right flank to the Centaur Chief to clean up. Fakk me.
Meanwhile, my assault on the Dwarf castle wasn’t going terribly. I had been pounding through all that De 6+ at a good clip, but Sharpshooters on a hill meant my dudes were not only bleeding from combat but being finished off after those combats wrapped. Come end game, I just didn’t have much left to score, with a lonely Tribal Warrior reg keeping me in unit strength.
HALLOW LOSS (3-10)
I’m not sure why I chose hard mode for this game – I vaguely wanted to give Joe a fun match? As fun as being the gallery part of a shooting gallery is! I kind of wanted to pressure test the Hallow as well, since this was one of my few matches into The Dwarf List, if possibly the first? All the same, Joe’s a good dude and a big fan of mine, and I had had a helluva first day.
UP NEXT: Day 2! Back to the bottom third where I belong.
Round 4 dawns and, after some shuffling of match-ups, Cuddle Time is facing off against the cruel embrace of Venereal Taint! Yes, this does mean there’s a chance that Mikael and I rematch, but because he can control his fate this time, I’m matched into the new and improved Northern Alliance. I choose Loot as it’s the best option of those available (only six scenarios are in the pool each round).
Game 4: Northern Alliance
Frostfang Cavalry Horde – Tundra Fighters, Staying Stone Ice Elementals Horde – Blessing of the Gods Human Tribesfolk Horde – Tundra Fighters, Chalice of Wrath Half-Elf Berserkers Regiment – Boots of Striding? Ice Kin Hunters Regiment Ice Kin Hunters Regiment Ice Kin Hunters Regiment Frostclaw Riders Regiment – Ice Bombs? Snow Foxes Regiment Hrimm, Legendary Ice Giant – Icy Breath (12) Serakina, the Ice Queen – Surge (8), Wind Blast (6) Ice Queen – Blizzard (2), Bane Chant (2) 2300 (12/26)
I don’t have Brad’s list, so have made some educated guesses. There are 5 points left, so maybe the Berserkers had something else? The birds may not have had bombs either. All the same, loads of shooting and heaps of frozen to make me go even slower, with wind blast in there to make me go negative inches forward when possible. And I’ll say it right now: Serakina really is the worst.
Craggoth scouted up onto a token, at which point Mikael informed me he couldn’t pick it up, which was fine. Sad for what’s about to happen, but fine. Brad’s Ice Kin Hunters scouted into range, then he won and took first turn, and I begin to have a concern.
BATTLE
Turn 1: The Northern Alliance advances on the wings, forming the classic death crescent. Ice Kin Hunters and the Ice Queen with blizzard spike 4 damage into the central sharpness Earth Elemental horde, freezing them down to Sp 4. Oof. On the left, the Ice Elementals and Serakina do 5 damage to Craggoth, freezing him to Sp 5 and wind blasting him several inches to the left (if he could have picked up the objective he would be immune to wind blast). Double oof.
The Freeforged shamble forward in response. Mastiffs provide some cover to the sharp Earth horde in the center, as well as stop them when the Stone Priest surges the slow horde forward a couple inches. Craggoth skitters back over to the token and picks it up. If his fireball was in range to the Ice Elementals, it completely fluffed.
Turn 2: Brad hardly moves, simply adjusting a couple facings and pulling the Frostclaws and Frostfangs back as reserves. Ice Kin Hunters and the Ice Queen deal 12 damage to the central Mastiffs, removing them. Serakina wind blasts the orb Beast Lord on the left backwards, freezing him to Sp 6, and the Ice Elementals push Craggoth up to 10 damage, freezing him again.
With Brad’s Ice Elementals rolling so well, I decide to evacuate Craggoth while I still can, scuttling him back towards my lines with token in tow. The rest of the iron line powers forward as fast as it can. Mastiffs on the right pick up another token, as the sword Beast Lord plows through the wood and charges the Berserkers (hindered). He does 2 damage (…) but has stripped their TC and is out of Hrimm’s LOS.
Northern Alliance 3: In which I discover that the Frostclaws can in fact fit into Craggoth’s flank. Good eyes, Brad! The birds charge the giant metal scorpion. The Berserkers counter-charge the sword Beast Lord, with the Frostfangs joining them. Hrimm’s frozen aura freezes the Free Dwarf hero for chad for good measure.
In shooting, the Ice Elementals, the blizzard Ice Queen and Serakina do 5 damage to the left Greater Earth Elemental, shoving him several inches backwards. The sharp Earth horde in the center goes up to 7 damage and is frozen thanks to the Ice Kin Hunter firebase, and Hrimm breaths on the Mastiffs, freezing and wavering them on 4 damage. In combat, the Frostclaws tear Craggoth apart, scooping up the token and overrunning 2 inches. And the Berserkers and Frostfangs do 8 damage to the sword Beast Lord, wavering him.
Free Dwarfs 3: Determined to rest some control back, I charge the orb Beast Lord into the Ice Elementals (hindered over the wall) and an Earth Elemental regiment into the waiting horde of Tribesfolk. The Greater Earth on that flank pushes up to the wall and hopes he gets to charge somebody at some point (Brad later told me he would have surged the GEE forward, and while I could maybe have gotten my Sp 4 caster into range, I think it would have pulled his inspiring away from dudes who needed it? Spoilers.) Neither combat is brilliant (3 damage to the Ice Elementals and 4 to the Tribesfolk) but those units are in one place now and not shooting.
On the right, my sword Beast Lord fails his headstrong (the Dwarven Curse strikes!), which sees an Earth regiment charge the Berserkers unsupported as the right Greater Earth charges the Frostfangs. I roll pretty great but 5 damage and 7 damage respectively isn’t enough to do much. You can see I’m already preparing to scoop up tokens with my rear Earth Elemental horde once the sharp Earth horde pops, which has claimed the center token for now.
Northern Alliance 4: Brad begins by backing up 2/3 of his Ice Kin firebase. Success 😤 Otherwise everybody counter-charges their dance partners, as the Frostclaws drag their token towards my table edge and Hrimm and the Snow Foxes mill about. Serakina freezes and wind blasts the left Greater Earth back again (*sigh*), before the Ice Kin Hunters and Ice Queen push the central sharp Earth horde to 11 damage, freezing them of course. Hrimm breaths on the Mastiffs again, and once again freezes and wavers them (on 6 damage).
In combat, the orb Beast Lord takes 2 damage from the Ice Elementals, losing his TC2. The Earth regiment next to him is, however, utterly dismantled by the Tribesfolk horde. On the right, the Berserkers chip 3 damage onto their Earth regiment, and the right Greater Earth takes a sterling 9 damage from the Frostfangs. Note that thanks to Hrimm’s chilling presence both units were frozen, which triggered tundra fighters (vicious) in the NA troops. Nice.
Free Dwarfs 4: A turn too late, I send the left Greater after the non-flying, non-nimble, Sp 5 birds carrying the token. It isn’t wonderful but I feel like it’s better than getting aced by the Tribesfolk when Brad feels like it. The orb Beast Lord hits the Ice Elementals again. On the right, the Berserkers cop a combo-charge from a Earth Elemental horde and regiment, as the Frostfangs receive the combined attention of the slayer Beast Lord and the right Greater Earth. The Mastiffs drop their token and the reserve Earth horde picks it up. Finally, the sharp Earth horde sidesteps 2.5″, dragging their token closer to my deathball.
Combat is decisive on the right, with both NA units bludgeoned into the snow. The orb Beast Lord on the left successfully disorders the Ice Elementals (4 damage total).
Northern Alliance 5: Serakina signals that it’s time for the Alliance to move this turn! Mostly! The Frostclaws drag their token into the leftmost woods, the Tribesfolk saunter towards the central token and melee, as the Ice Kin Hunters mostly decide they’re good where they are, except for one unit that charges into an Earth Elemental horde before they get charged. Hrimm plows into an Earth regiment (freezing everyone within 6″) and his pet Snow Foxes leap on the right Greater Earth.
Serakina freezes and wind blasts the left Greater Earth sideways, ensuring it can’t catch the birds this turn or next. And the two Ice Kin Hunters with the help of the Ice Queen’s blizzard finish off the sharp Earth horde after 5 turns of shooting it. Result. In combat, the Ice Kin Hunters do a single damage to the Earth horde (respect), before Hrimm obliterates his Earth regiment and the Snow Foxes preposterously drag down the wounded Greater Earth! Best Swarm 2019-2023. Also it looks like the Ice Elementals lost their damn minds and did 10 damage to the orb Beast Lord, but the dude held on 12 damage. Wow.
Free Dwarfs 5: The Greater Earth on the left stumbles forward 5″, honestly to get away from Serakina more than anything. Otherwise, the orb Beast Lord counters the Ice Elementals again, the Earth horde fighting Ice Kin Hunters fights Ice Kin Hunters, the sword Beast Lord gleefully charges into Hrimm (hindered), and the Mastiffs charge the Snow Foxes, fancying a chaff off. My reserve Earth horde scoop up the token dropped last turn, adding it to their other one.
The Stone Priest fails to bane chant the Earth horde fighting elves, then it’s on to combat. The orb Beast Lord continues to do 2 damage a turn to the Ice Elementals (5 total after Serakina’s radiance), the Earth horde does a solid 7 damage to the Hunters, the sword Beast Lord slams 3 into Hrimm, and the Mastiffs chomp 2 into the Foxes. Nobody cares but everybody is disordered.
Northern Alliance 6: Brad draws the noose tight, but will it be enough? The Tribesfolk flank the Earth horde embroiled with the Ice Kin Hunters, as more Ice Kin Hunters flank the sword Beast Lord fighting Hrimm. The Foxes counter the Mastiffs and the Ice Elementals do the same to the mangled orb Beast Lord. The Frostclaws drag their token through the woods, away from their giant, dogged pursuer. Sadly (for me), Serakina finds the angle and shoves the Greater Elemental sideways again, frozen forever.
In combat, the Earth Elemental horde holds on 10 damage! Helped I’m going to guess because bane chant on the horde failed? Hrimm and the Snow Foxes can’t fail tho, dropping the Beast Lord and Mastiffs. But the roller coaster continues as the Ice Elementals can’t wound the orb Beast Lord clinging to life.
Free Dwarfs 6: Unexpectedly, I might have this! I delightedly hit the Tribesfolk horde in the front and flank with Earth Elemental hordes. It lives when I beef the Nv test (IIRC I needed like a 4-6 and rolled very low). The orb Beast Lord hits the Ice Elementals yet again, but I don’t think broke them. And the left Greater plods after those damn birds, having never swung all game.
Thankfully there’s no Turn 7, making this a …
FREEFORGED VICTORY
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew what a game, and pretty unique for Kings of War, with so many movement debuffs. Pretty sure I gave Brad my favorite opponent vote as well. Overall, it was really cool to see the new Northern Alliance functioning as the combined arms force it was designed to be, and I appreciate that while Frostclaws did technically do some really meaningful work, it wasn’t through spamming them or going hard alpha, but carefully timed play. Also special shoutout to Ice Elementals going to 12″ shooting as being one of the best hidden buffs, it synergizes really well with frozen’s -1 Sp. Finally, Serakina can go straight to hell.
Round 5 puts Cuddle Time up against Barry’s Bathwater Experience, somewhere just below the middle of the pack. I end up against Mike, a dude I actually played in the first round of Pilgrimage 2023, in a battle which some day you’ll get to read about 😬 While I was playing Herd last time we met, Mike is still rocking Varangur, except on the other side of the update.
Game 5: Varangur
The Fallen Horde – Brew of Strength The Fallen Regiment – Staying Stone Human Tribesfolk Horde – Chalice of Wrath Human Tribesfolk Regiment – Orb of Towering Presence Mounted Sons Regiment – Helm of the Drunken Ram, Guise of the Deceiver Mounted Sons Regiment – Boots of Striding, Guise of the Deceiver Night Raiders Regiment – Fire-Oil, Bows Draugr Regiment Draugr Regiment Snow Foxes Regiment Magnilde of the Fallen Kruufnir Magus on Horse – Boots of Levitation, Knowledgeable; Alchemist’s Curse (4) Skald – Lute of Insatiable Darkness; Bane Chant (2)
That’s 3 AC(4) casters out of 5 games! My plan for Mike’s is the same as the other ones: ignore them unless they get within 14″ of a Beast Lord (they won’t) and try to kill faster than they can melt my large metal children. Otherwise the list is fairly standard Varangur, with more variety than I’m used to but looks like he was trying out some of the improved infantry options. For reference, he had more shooting at Pilgrimage, as well as a Frost Giant which I did my best to frustrate and keep wandering around not doing much 😉
We’re playing Dominate because I chose scenario 😛 Craggoth scoots up a flank and I win and take first turn. Off to a good start.
BATTLE
Turn 1: The Freeforged stomp forward once again, with Mastiffs scampering ahead to be annoying as Craggoth scuttles up the flank more conservatively than usual, thanks to the Fallen’s presence.
The Varangur line advances apace, the standouts being the Fallen regiment cresting the hill and the Magus whipping down the left flank. Using the power of his horse’s magical boots (???), the Magus is able to cast while marching, scorching 5 damage into the leftmost Greater Earth Elemental. So it begins. Also the Night Raiders land a cheeky damage on Craggoth with their bows, the scamps.
Free Dwarfs 2: Declaring my hatred of the Fallen, I hit Mike’s regiment with Mastiffs and the sword Beast Lord in the front and Craggoth in the flank. They explode spectacularly. I overrun the Mastiffs to jam the Fallen horde but they only go 1 inch, which means I have to reform Craggoth in such a way that Kruufnir (and the Night Raiders) are in his flank. He’s a tough scorpion so how bad can it be? In other news, I punch the left Mastiffs up 12″ to be in the way of Mike’s Tribesfolk, who must be within 11″ of my sharpness Earth horde.
Varangur 2: Things start to get messy as the Varangur make contact across the line. The Tribesfolk regiment hits the waiting Mastiffs, Snow Foxes whip into the sharp Earth Elementals, Draugr hit an Earth horde and regiment, the Fallen horde obliges and charges the Mastiffs in front of them, and Craggoth is hit in the front by the drunken ram Mounted Sons regiment (so that’s CS1+TC2) and the flank by Night Raiders (who have TC1). Kruffnir abstains from combat, instead nimbling around the legendary titan. Finally, the Magus circles his Greater Earth target and Magnilde uses her once per game fly to land within the Freeforged lines, glaring at the Stone Priest.
There is a brief pause broken by the shrieking of superheated metal as the Magus curses the GEE up to 9 damage, after which the axes descend. The Tribesfolk deal 7 damage to the left Mastiffs, who hold. The Snow Foxes and both Draugr regiments deal a single damage to their targets, leaving the elementals unphased. The Fallen horde dunks their Mastiffs unceremoniously, and Craggoth takes only 10 damage from his aggressors.
Free Dwarfs 3: Craggoth, very much alive, kicks things off by flanking his Mounted Sons for great vengeance. I send the left Mastiffs in to block up the horde of Tribesfolk, and use that safety to put the central Greater Earth into the flank of the Snow Foxes. Earth Elementals counter the Varangur chaff down the line (Snow Foxes, Draugr, Draugr). I back up the sword Beast Lord to keep the Fallen horde, the Night Raiders and Kruufnir in his front, rather than charging, getting stuck and flanked / reared. On the left, I decide the melting Greater Earth is basically dead, so push him into the woods and invite charges from the Mounted Sons and/or the Tribesfolk regiment. I turn the left Earth regiment around and prepare to surge 4″ into Magnilde. It won’t save my Stone Priest unless they kill her but crazy dice happen … but I roll 3″ out of 8 dice and they fall short (seen in the left photo below).
After this turn Mike wondered why I didn’t charge the central Greater into the Tribesfolk horde? The Mastiffs could have easily protected his flank from Sons or the Tribesfolk regiment, and the sharp Earth horde did not need help against the Snow Foxes. I didn’t have a great answer apart from being scared of the horde killing my big guy … but would now like to know why I didn’t help clear off the Draugr to the GEE’s right? It would have been great to have that horde freed up a turn earlier, and very much looks like he can their flank.
Anyway. Craggoth splatters those Mounted Sons and turns to face the Fallen horde, showing his butt to the Night Raiders and yet again tempting Kruufnir. Those Snow Foxes are turned to mist, and the Draugr get slapped around (5 damage and 3 damage). The Tribesfolk horde takes a damage from the Mastiffs.
Varangur 3: Screaming Herja’s war cry, Magnilde charges into the Stone Priest lurking in the central forest. The cry is taken up throughout the Varangur host as the Mounted Sons launch into the damaged Greater Earth Elemental (they pop boots to avoid hindering), the Tribesfolk regiment charges the sharp Earth horde, the Fallen hit Craggoth in the front with Night Raiders in the rear, and Kruufnir lopes into the flank of the Earth regiment fighting Draugr. The horde of Tribesfolk deal with their Mastiffs and the other Draugr regiment flails against their Earth horde again.
The Magus sears 6 (!) damage into the orb Beast Lord, and then it’s on. The Mounted Sons down their Greater Elemental and the Tribesfolk horde bashes the last of their mechanical Mastiffs down. That’s the end of Mike’s good news, however. The Tribesfolk regiment does 1 damage to the sharp Earth horde, the Stone Priest holds after taking 6 damage from Magnilde, Draugr do 1 damage to the other engaged Earth horde, and Kruufnir only manages to get his Earth regiment up to 4 damage. The heartbreaker tho is Craggoth snake eyesing on 22 damage 🫂 Devastated but at what cost?
Free Dwarfs 4: Time to capitalize on Mike’s misfortune! The sword Beast Lord flanks the Fallen horde as fast as possible, with the mangled husk of Craggoth counter-charging the Night Raiders to his rear. Kruufnir is flanked by an Earth Elemental horde, as the Draugr receive another round of pounding from their Earth Elemental opponents. The sharp Earth Elementals counter the Tribesfolk regiment, the Earth Elemental reg that was trying to catch Magnidle charge into her this turn, and the central Greater Earth thunders into the Mounted Sons that killed its fellow, with the orb Beast Lord lending (hindered) support.
The Tribesfolk, Fallen and one unit of Draugr are brutalized and sent fleeing, but it’s not all roses for the Freeforged. The Mounted Sons waver on 12 damage (that’s me failing to roll a 4 with no reroll!), Kruufnir only takes 5 damage, Magnidle takes none, and Craggoth likewise can’t strip the thunderous from his Night Raiders.
Varangur 4: The Tribesfolk horde vaults the hedge and flanks the surviving Greater Earth (hindered but bane chanted), as the Mounted Sons disengage. Kruufnir has another go at the Earth reg’s flank, Magnilde goes back into the Stone Priest, and the Night Raiders envelope Craggoth and prepare to end the scorpion at last.
The Magus thankfully only manages to curse 2 more damage into the orb Beast Lord, putting him on a manageable 8. In combat, the Greater Earth is cutting down under weight of the Tribesfolks’ attaks, but Mike realizes he’s butted the Skald right up against the unit, making it impossible to reform to face my sharp Earth Elementals 😐 Moving past this, Magnidle decapitates the Stone Priest and overruns to stand in front of an Earth horde, Craggoth is stabbed into submission by Night Raiders, and Kruufnir faffs against the Earth regiment, bringing them to 9 damage but still no rout.
Free Dwarfs 5: The orb Beast Lord charges the very damaged Mounted Sons (hindered), the sharp Earth Elementals flank the Tribesfolk horde, Magnidle is mobbed by a horde and a regiment of Earth Elementals, Kruufnir is flanked by an Earth Elemental horde on one side and a CS3+TC2 Beast Lord on the other, and the battered Earth reg has one more go at the surviving Draugr.
Rocks fall, everybody dies.
Varangur 5: With very little left, Mike takes what he can but in the end we are playing Dominate … The Skald hides behind a hedge, the Magus cooks the orb Beast Lord up to 11 damage (he holds), and the Night Raiders put 3 damage on the sword Beast Lord (shrug).
Free Dwarfs 6: The orb Beast Lord hits the Skald for 2 damage (hindered), and the Night Raiders die to the sword Beast Lord and an Earth horde.
Varangur 6: The Magus successfully melts the orb Beast Lord using alchemist curse, shortly before the Skald fails to hurt an Earth horde. But of course there’s another turn.
Turn 7: The sword Beast Lord and an Earth horde charge the Skald, caving his skull in. The Magus I think tried to curse off the 9 damage Earth regiment, which regardless of the result, this was another heavy …
FREEFORGED VICTORY
What a smasher to end the tournament on. Before we started, Mike commented that he rolled three snake eyes in the game before … and so naturally he rolled four in this one 😅 Only one was really catastrophic but his dice in general keep getting worse and worse, especially around his alchemist curse – i.e. his strongest counter into my wall of iron that I could never touch. I heartily thanked his dice for the gift. Mike took his drubbing well and I suspect we’ll play again the next time our regions cross.
Despite my truly unexpected five out of five wins, Cuddle Time still ended up 18th out of 24 teams, scoring high in sports and solid in appearance even if our overall battle wasn’t great. Hopefully the rest of the lads had a decent time? I’m still riding pretty high from smashing everybody up, glossing over Game 3’s poor Abyssal Dwarf seal clubbing. I’ll always wonder how much I can write off my wins to choice of scenario? I played Dominate three times and Loot / Plunder for the other two, which seems pretty perfect for me (hell, I chose them!) Being teched into didn’t seem to matter a lot – Alchemist Curse (4) on mobile casters sucked but I pushed through. I think more mobile armies would have been more of a pain for me, at least play-wise, but you really need to be able to lift to take this army out.
Somebody averaged out performance by faction for this event, and well:
🪨🪨🪨
Looking to do some sort of wrap up for my 2023 Herd tournaments, I took way too many photos to not do something with them all. Til then, thanks for reading!
Round 2 saw Cuddle Time up against a three player team whose name I forget! The upshot is that one of our players will be offered up in a random match up against the extra player from another 4v3 match. I end up paired into Mikael’s Empire of Dust (of Team Venereal Taint), but I’m able to choose Plunder, a totally acceptable scenario.
With 4 out of 5 legends supporting a backbone of Enslaved Guardians and a white hot AC (4) caster (that’s 2 of 2 games for those playing at home), I could see Mikael being on the whole ok with my brick of an army. While I was happy to see a single Wyrm, I was also totally unaware of how good the Behemoth is in 3.5E 😛 I’ve no idea when that happened but damn, you go girl. (Long time readers will remember my efforts to make the Ankylodon Battle Platform shine, and we know how 3E has treated that cousin of the Behemoth!)
I scouted Craggoth up and grabbed a 2 point token before also claiming first turn and taking it with glee. (Mikael later checked the rules on Scout and showed me that you specifically can’t pick up tokens, making it the only move that is not a move in the game, including units that turn on the spot as a combat reform. Kooky but them’s the rules. It didn’t particularly affect our game but I appreciate knowing.)
BATTLE
Turn 1: Freeforged trundle forward, with the exception of Craggoth who drags his token backwards behind the woods and some Mastiffs that shoot forward and grab a 1 point token.
The Empire of Dust deploys measuring sticks and advances in a safe and orderly fashion. The Soul Snare drains 4 damage from the token Mastiffs, obnoxiously wavering them, and the sword Beast Lord is hit with scorched earth.
Free Dwarfs 2: Those wavered Mastiffs rotate out of the way, handing their token off to an Earth regiment, while the other Mastiffs hard to the left grab another 1 point token. Out on the right, Craggoth rips into the striding Enslaved Guardians, tossing its 2 pointer to the other Earth regiment. I punch it down in the center as well, sending the sharp Earth horde (bane changed) and the orb Beast Lord into the haste Guardians. The sword Beast Lord (scorched) powers into the lifeleech Guardians to hold them in place as well, and that’s all the Guardian hordes accounted for.
The sharp Earth horde detonates their Enslaved Guardians, backing up to keep Shobik in their front as the orb Beast Lord overruns awkwardly deep into the EOD line. The sword Beast Lord does an unknown amount of damage into the lifeleech Guardians, and Craggoth hammer slams 6 into his horde of can openers.
Empire of Dust 2: The sharp Earth horde cops a front charge from Shobik, a flank from Skeleton Spearmen, and a surge flank from the Wyrm. The beleaguered central Mastiffs are charged by the Behemoth, the right Greater Earth takes the Rev Cav troop to the front, and Craggoth is hit in the front by his Guardians and the flank by the other Skeleton Spearmen. Oh, and the sword Beast Lord is countered by the lifeleech Guardians.
The Mastiffs sneaking off with a token on the left are Soul Snared for 3 damage, the orb Beast Lord suffers 5 damage from alchemists curse (SIGH), and the Guardians fighting Craggoth are healed down to 3 damage and will lifeleech in a moment after the khopeshs begin to fall. Speaking of, the sharp Guardians are beaten into scrap and the Behemoth flattens its Mastiffs. In happier news, the sword Beast Lord takes 8(!) damage but only wavers, Craggoth goes up to 6 damage and doesn’t care, and the Rev Cav do nothing to their GEE.
Free Dwarfs 3: The grind is well and truly met this turn as charges erupt across the field. The left Greater Earth surge charges the Behemoth (with bane chant for CS4), the Wyrm is flanked by an Earth regiment and fronted by an Earth horde (who scoop up a 2 point token in the process), the lifeleech Guardians are comboed by the sword Beast Lord (who passes headstrong! (on my first time rolling it)) and another Earth horde, the other Great Earth counters his Rev Cav troop, Craggoth hits his Guardians again, annnnd the rightmost Earth regiment flanks the Spearmen assailing the big scorpion’s flank. Whew. In non-combat news, the orb Beast Lord turns to glare at the Soul Snare, as the Mastiffs on the left continue dragging their plunder backwards.
I wish I could say combat was decisive, but it really was not. The Behemoth takes only 4 damage from the Greater Earth, the Wyrm surprisingly lives with 8 damage, and both the Guardians to Craggoth’s front (7 damage) and Spearmen (8 damage) cling to unlife. The Rev Cav are turned to dust, however, as are the lifeleech Guardians.
Empire of Dust 3: Brace for the clap-back, dear readers. The Behemoth hits its Greater Earth in the front, with Spearmen into the flank (and off the hill). The Wyrm counters the Earth regiment to its flank, as Shobik saunters into their flank (and off the hill). Craggoth, meanwhile, takes a second round of Enslaved Guardian to the front and Spearmen to the flank.
In shooting, the Soul Snare snaps the Mastiffs up to 5 damage, wavering them, and while the orb Beast Lord escaped the alchemist curse this turn, the sword Beast Lord did not. He’s baked up to 11 damage but holds! Also the last of the damn Guardians are healed down to 2 (and thus 1) damage. In combat, Craggoth is shoved to 13 damage but triumphantly holds as Mikael’s dice betray him. The Behemoth’s Greater Earth Elemental likewise holds on 8 damage, however the Earth regiment in the center is handily flattened by Shobik and pet (handing their token to Shobik in the process).
Free Dwarfs 4: Having survived the grind, the Freeforged oblige the Empire and drop another round of hammers into them. The orb Beast Lord charges and shatters the Soul Snare, the slayer Beast Lord rears the Spearmen fighting the left Greater Earth and one-rounds them, and the Earth horde who fought the Wyrm before grimly finishes the job. Shobik fairs better, absorbing the charge of a bane chanted Earth horde, and the Behemoth continues to prove hard as nails, surviving another assault from a Greater Earth Elemental. Off on the right, the other Greater Earth arrives in the flank of Craggoth’s Guardians, pulverizing them, as Craggoth and the Earth regiment take care of the Skeleton Spearmen.
Empire of Dust 4: Shobik drops his plunder to juke the Earth horde he’s fighting by surging into a different Earth horde (off the hill no less). He delivers them 6 damage. The Behemoth smacks its Greater Earth up to 12 damage but the big guy continues to hold. And the Cursed Priest turns the sword Beast Lord to slag with alchemists curse 😥
Free Dwarfs 5: The Greater Earth Elemental fighting the Behemoth finally gets some help, in the form of a bane-chanted Earth horde thundering off the hill into its flank. The monstrosity is finally ground back into the sands. Shobik is reared by the orb Beast Lord, effectively crushing the old god against the anvil of another Earth horde, routing it. And the Monolith is hit by both a Greater Earth and a smoldering Craggoth, which level it quite effectively.
Empire of Dust 5: While he can’t win the game with just a Cursed Priest and Sebekh-Rai (cowering behind that ruined building and effectively dead to both of us), Mikael can at least kill my large metal children. Alchemist curse puts Craggoth into the dirt, making me sad.
Turn 6: I have little chance of catching that stupid Cursed Priest, but I can hold all the tokens in my grubby metal hands and try to prepare some emergency token grabbing in Turn 7. Mikael flubs his final alchemist curse in Turn 6, and with no Turn 7, that’s a …
FREEFORGED VICTORY
Wowzers. I did not expect to smash EOD so hard, but a combination of getting a jump on his army and receiving 2-3 really clutch low Nv rolls from Mikael’s dice cinched the game. Alchemist curse was definitely brutal this game but, as with the last match, I felt like there was little I could do about it, so just punched harder where I could. Seems legit.
Round 3 put Cuddle Time up against Best MM, a bunch of total gents also circling the bottom tables. Their captain put me up against Justin, a new player with a WIP 10mm (or smaller?) Abyssal Dwarfs army based up for 28mm Kings. We played Dominate as is my want.
It’s been a long time since I’ve faced Abyssal Dwarfs and longer still for triple artillery, and while AD aren’t all that scary anything can happen when it comes to artillery spikes! Apart from that he’s mostly very slow, but very tough and kind of wants the same thing as me. Also Justin has a dragon, even if he foolishly left the AC (4) mage at home 🫠
Craggoth punches up a flank per usual and I go first also per usual. The new usual.
BATTLE
Turn 1: Freeforged, roll out! Craggoth fireballs 1 damage into the right Blacksouls horde and I surge an Earth horde an extra 1-2.”
Our twisted cousins advance apace, with Lesser Obsidian Golems enjoying some surge boosts of their own. The first artillery volley targets a central Earth Elemental horde but only 2 damage is caused.
Free Dwarfs 2: The iron line shuffles along for the most part, although the orb Beast Lord joins Craggoth in a combo-charge on the right Blacksouls. They hold comfortably on 9 damage.
Abyssal Dwarfs 2: The Golems continue leading the AD advance, moving into Charnox range. Combined with the artillery barrage, 1-2 damage is dealt across the Freeforged line to no real effect. Shortly afterwards, the Blacksouls counter-charge on the orb Beast Lord does 4 damage. Not bad, stunities, but not enough. (Those central Golems may or may not have been able to flank surge the orb Lord, it looks like a hard cut and a fairly long charge to make it in. But I can’t recall if I couched him either way at the time.)
Free Dwarfs 3: I pile into his Golems, with the left one copping a front from sword Beast Lord and Greater Earth, and a flank from the sharp Earth horde; and the right one assailed by an Earth horde (bane chanted) and regiment in the front and a Greater Earth in the flank (off a hill no less). Both LOG hordes bite it. The left Blacksouls, meanwhile, are blocked by an Earth regiment (taking 2 damage in the process) and the right Blacksouls are driven off by the orb Beast Lord and Craggoth. I send the scorpion skittering towards the artillery in the backfield. Finally, the red Immortal Guard regiment takes a preposterous 9 damage from one very lucky horde of Earth Elementals.
Abyssal Dwarfs 3: Those Immortal Guard regen 1 damage (😬) and do 3 damage back to their Earth Elemental assailants. The surviving Blacksouls horde dismantle the Earth regiment fighting them, and artillery and/or fireballs push the other central Earth horde to 4 damage.
Notice that big white base behind the wall in his deployment zone? That’s the Overlord on Ancient Winged Halfbreed, just chilling. I confirmed a few times that he was not being forgotten, but content to make me nervous. The Infernox is behind the central building, looking to the left.
Free Dwarfs 4: Driven by an endless desire for murder, my robot dudes storm on. On the left, a Greater Earth Elemental and the sharp Earth horde blend the Blacksouls horde, as the sword Beast Lord bops just 2 damage into the Ironcaster babysitting them. Centrally, the red Immortal Guard are splattered by a Greater Earth in the flank and Earth horde (bane chanted) in the front, with the orb Beast Lord similarly slapping 3 damage into an Ironcaster. Then Craggoth eats his first Mortar.
Abyssal Dwarfs 4: The Overmaster descends! He swoops into the left Greater Earth’s front, and shockingly one-rounds the De 6+ titan with the help of the Infernox in the flank. Damn, Justin! The other Greater Earth cops some artillery damage (3 total), shortly before the surviving Immortal Guard push the central Earth horde up to 6 damage.
Free Dwarfs 5: Retaliation is, of course, swift. The sharp Earth horde hits the Infernox in the front (I explained the weirdness of facing a square to Justin when reforming after killing the GEE), but do only 4 damage despite bane chant. The same can’t be said of the Immortal Guard, who are given the same treatment as the previous batch, GEE in the flank and all. Craggoth eats his second Mortar.
Abyssal Dwarfs 5: Having appeared, the Overmaster swiftly flits off to the safety of the enemy deployment zone 😀 Leaving the Infernox to punch 2 damage into the sharp Earth Elementals. I wish I could say that Justin’s final mortar shot was impactful but I think it missed or failed to wound like most of the previous volleys.
Free Dwarfs 6: Infernox dies to a Beast Lord with CS3+TC2 in the rear. Poor guy. Craggoth eats his third and final Mortar, settling down to digest.
Abyssal Dwarfs 6: The Overmaster flaps into the Dominate zone, ensuring that he’s got at least 1 US to his name 👍
Turn 7: Buuuuut then I surge and bane chant an Earth horde into the Overmaster, which yields just 7 damage. The Overmaster returns the favor in Justin’s turn, routing the already damaged horde and closing the points gap just a bit more. All the same, this is a convincing …
FREEFORGED VICTORY
I think this was Justin’s 4th or 5th game of Kings? He took his lumps like an absolute prince, here’s hoping he had some fun throughout the tournament and maybe even a win or two. (I asked Best MM’s captain why he paired Justin into me, rather than taking me himself, and he told me it was because he knew Justin would have a good game. I really appreciate that and hope it was true, as this looks like a real stomp writing it up!)
And a merry Fall to you as well, gentle readers! With a lull at work I’m finally getting around to reporting some battles again, and rather than wade into a year of Herd tournaments, I figured I’d punch out my annual coverage of the Crossroads GT. In its current format, Crossroads is a 2300 point two day tournament using teams of four players, taking place late September in Elmira, NY. There’s some jiggery-pokery involved in determining match-ups, but my goal as captain of Team Cuddle Time has always been to give most of my players the least painful games possible. Not necessarily best, mind 😅
I tend to do quite well at Crossroads (probably because I have some control over what scenarios I play), however personal records are a moot point when the rest of your team is getting slagged. Spoilers for this year: Cuddle Time did just about the same as it always does, although our painting and sports scores keep climbing, even if our round results aren’t. Good on ya, lads.
This Crossroads also saw me premiere a new army, which seems to be a tradition for me as well. Printed last winter and painted mostly in the summer, I present my FREEFORGED:
Free Dwarfs Earth Elemental Horde – Brew of Sharpness Earth Elemental Horde Earth Elemental Horde Earth Elemental Regiment Earth Elemental Regiment Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment Greater Earth Elemental – Craggoth & Kholearm, Fireball (10) Greater Earth Elemental Greater Earth Elemental Dwarf Lord on Large Beast – Blade of the Beast Slayer Dwarf Lord on Large Beast – Orb of Towering Presence Free Dwarf Stone Priest – Surge (8), Bane Chant (2) 2300 (13/21)
The main goal was to 3D print an entire army, for which I chose a single set of not-Warforged by Artisan Guild, one of my favorite sculpting houses but one that historically does not print well for me. Originally I was going to stay the course and use a third large robot lad, but ended up using a converted automaton scorpion from Cast N Play for Craggoth, partially for my own sanity and also to stand out. It’s an understatement to say I’m happy with the big critter.
As for the list, I feel like I’m back in the 2E days of Bloodfire, strapped for unlocks and starving for unit strength 🙃 But I also wanted to run some De 6+ skew, in response to the high speed hammers + low pierce shooting that’s flooding the meta, and I’d say that was a success. I sacrificed the Mastiff’s throwing dogs to juice up the DLOLBs, which I knew from facing Dwarfs need some items to really tune up, and splurged on +1 to hit for a horde rather than Martyr’s Prayer on the Stone Priest. As punishing as that would have been with such high defense, I really wanted a horde that could do something.
I finished basing the army two nights before the tournament, so like with my crabs I would be enjoying a single prep game on the Friday before the event. Clubmate Bill likewise had a brand new army he didn’t understand either, so off we went …
Game 0: Northern Alliance
I don’t remember what’s in Bill’s list but it’s a decent mix made from the refreshed NA line. The opening gambit of the game saw me scouting Craggoth into charge range of both of his Frostclaw hordes, daring them to have a go. Surprisingly Bill did just that! The birds very nearly broke my new toy, but the scorpion clung to life and Craggoth killed one horde while the other was driven off by a Beast Lord and some amount of Earth Elementals. Side Comment: As much as I love universal pathfinder on my Herd, nigh-universal brutal is great as well. Ogre players know.
Anyway, Bill’s heart left the game once the birds were gone. I weathered his shooting in the middle, including my first taste of frozen vs Sp 5 units, and felt the pain of Hrimm one-shoting a horde of Earth Elementals to the front, but eventually forced a concession about mid-game. I’m not sure how Bill did in the tournament but hopefully his birds served him better!
After this we had some drinks and played obligatory board games into the AM, as is customary for Kings of War events.
Round One sees Cuddle Time up against the Ithaca Lakers! The way pairing works, you end up choosing the match-ups for half of your team and the scenario for the other half. My goal was to always choose scenario if possible, on the assumption that that matters way more for a Sp 5 brickhouse of an army. I successfully got myself Dominate this match, and as a reward I was up against Bryant’s Elves. He’s running a pretty late 2E style list with some decent De 6+ cracking power – for those playing at home, please mark a 1 next to the number of AC (4) casters I’ve faced in this tournament so far 😐
Bryant is a good guy who I’ve faced at other Crossroads. He was running OOGL last year (before they were cool) and you can read about our game somewhere on this blog. A game which he’s still kicking himself for, as he told me. Anyway, I won first turn and took it because Sp 5 brickhouse.
BATTLE
Turn 0: Bryant forms a fast wing and a slow wing while I try not to go pure deathball. Then I scout Craggoth up the flank and he suddenly has a concern.
Turn 1: The Freeforged stumble to war! The left GEE must have been surged a bit for extra distance, and Craggoth misses the leftmost Archmage (I want to say the LB only one) with his fireball / tail laser. Boo.
In response, the Elves back away on the left and move into threatening positions on the right. Classic Elves! The Gladestalkers and that LB Archmage tag a solid 3 damage into Craggoth while the advanced Greater Earth suffers 8, no doubt thanks to the loathsome AC Archmage.
Free Dwarfs 2: I send my big boys in to smash while they still can, with Craggoth slamming 7 damage into the Gladestalkers (wavering them) and the melted Greater into some Forest Guard, turning them into goop. The rest of my turn is spent on the right making sure that the only double charge open to the mead Drakons and Tydarion are some Mastiffs. This takes some time but does successfully lock Bryant into one off charges that I can respond to.
Elves 2: The Forest Guard in the upper left flank Craggoth, pushing him up to 11 damage but the scorpion holds. The same can’t be said for the melted Greater Earth, which is finished off by the AC Archmage in a classic flaming paper vs rock situation. Apart from these big guys being aggressed upon, the bulk of Bryant’s turn is spent deciding where and how to dive into the Freeforged lines. Ultimately he chooses to hit the center of the lines, which I think was as correct as it could be, with no Beast Lords in LOS and asked a little more of my surge than other options. Backing up again might have been better? But it is dominate and I was coming to grips with him slowly but surely.
Tragically both Drakons and Dragonlord stick on their Earth hordes, doing 6 damage each.
Free Dwarfs 3: Instead of finishing off the Gladestalkers, Craggoth counters the Forest Guard in his flank. Only 3 damage dealt but another waver should keep him in the game a bit longer. I send the Mastiffs on the right off the hill and into the flank of the Quicksilver Lancers, for an impressive 5 damage (pretty sure they hindered on that fountain). The Drakons are obliterated thanks to a bane chanted surge flank off a hill from the sharpness Earth horde, while Tydarion only takes 5 damage from his own Earth horde. Finally, I spend some time preparing a landing spot for the helm Drakons coming in from the right flank. There only charge is into a Greater Earth, with a slide that will hinder them on terrain. I’ll take it.
Elves 3: Craggoth is flanked by Gladestalkers and I pay for my hubris as they finally pull the machine down. Elf violence continues as the Palace Guard horde scatters a Mastiff pack and the AC Archmage dunks 6 damage onto the sharp Earth Elementals. The Quicksilver Lancers see their own Mastiffs off as Tydarion wallops his Earth horde to 13 damage, then flubs the Nv test. The play of the turn, however, is Bryant using the Silverbreeze to keep the Drakons from hindering on the terrain when they charged my last Greater Earth. My 5 damage calculation becomes 9, which Bryant spikes extra hard to one round the large lad. I am gently shook.
Free Dwarfs 4: The sharpness Earth Elementals and orb Beast Lord pound into the Palace Guard, delivering a ferocious 17 damage but only wavering the elite horde. The blade Beast Lord slams into the Drakon horde and is forced to go it alone when an Earth regiment falls 1″ short on their surge. The Lord still hammers 6 damage into the small dragons but that’ll have to do. Also Tydarion Dragonlord is flanked and fronted by Earth Elementals, ripped from his saddle and reduced to a red smear. RIP to that guy.
Elves 4: The Quicksilver Lancers plow into the sharp Earth Elementals’ flank, routing them handily. Elsewhere, the Earth Elemental reg that has been struggling up the left flank takes 2 damage from the Gladestalkers and their Archmage, shortly before the Drakons gnaw 2 damage onto the blade Beast Lord.
Free Dwarfs 5: The orb Beast Lord charges the mangled Palace Guard, finishing them off, as the (bane chanted) Earth horde next to him pushes the Quicksilver Lancers up to 9 damage but can’t seal the deal. Plucky Earth regiments make contact this turn, with the left regiment slapping a couple damage onto the Gladestalkers (wavered again!) and the right one helping the blade Beast Lord end the Drakon menace.
Elves 5: The Quicksilver Lancers disengage from the central Earth horde, letting the Archmages work their cruel magicks. Thankfully they hold on 10 damage. The Silverbreeze, however, slip a damage into the 13 damage horde and pop them! Otherwise the Forest Guard start heading towards the center because we are playing Dominate, after all.
Turn 6: The Gladestalkers are driven back to the glades by a very determined regiment of Earth Elementals, as the Quicksilver Lancers are flanked and wrecked by the orb Beast Lord. I make sure all 8 of my available unit strength is in the center and see what Bryant can do.
The Elves drop the last Earth horde and toss a few shots at the orb Beast Lord for just a single damage. With 2 US to my 5 US, this is a solid …
FREEFORGED VICTORY
Awesome first game against a friendly face, that I’m genuinely surprised went my way. I’d say Craggoth was the big standout for me, despite not killing anything at all. I knew he could be a pressure piece but wow what a distraction and a half. Also, I didn’t really consider how much Alchemist Curse and CS/TC 3+ in the game these days when I decided to run a De 6+ skew list, but as we’ll see my lessons were just beginning …
My next tournament was Pilgrimage GT in Philadelphia, PA which marked a welcome return to 2300 points. I threw down a couple times with my buddy Jeff in the name of practice, though in truth I kept my list additions exceedingly simple over my 2150 point list. Here are both games in one post in the name of completeness and mayhem.
Herd 2300 Lycan Horde – Brew of Strength Guardian Brute Horde Guardian Brute Horde Minotaur Chariot Regiment – The Stampede [1] Tribal Warrior Horde – Brew of Sharpness Tribal Warrior Regiment Tribal Warrior Regiment Tribal Warrior Regiment Centaur Bray Striders Troop Centaur Bray Striders Troop Lycan Alpha – Trickster’s Wand; Hex (2) Great Chieftain – Horn of the Great Migration [1] Centaur Chieftain – Blade of Slashing Druid – Conjurer’s Staff; Bane Chant (2), Heal (2) 14 (27)
Compared to my 2150 list, I’ve simply added another regiment of Tribal Warriors and splurged on some casting insurance for the Druid and a spell for the Alpha. She actually had the Zephyr Crown in the first game below, but I swapped to the Trickster’s Wand by the second and ended up using it in the tournament. I do love windblast but hex is a hard counter to the really efficient (or awkwardly tall) casters out there.
Jeff’s list is constantly changing as he learns the game better and/or hyper-fixates on certain units. This iteration sees him wanting to polish a Rev Cav regiment into a functional hammer, while also doubling down on the hot sex that is the Vampasus. He’s also discovered that a vamp with shadowbeast behind it can do 10+ wounds in one swing … possibly an edition too late, but still a menace!
We played Raze, and I think he let me go first out of indecision.
BATTLE
Battlelines! My Lycan Alpha is hard to the left. His Vamps on Pegasuses are repped by the Goreblights in the upper left.
Turn 1: The Hallow sprints off the line, with my right flank beginning the long trek into relevance thanks to the Undead refused flank. The Lycan horde burns a token (1-0). The Undead advance in response, keeping Wraiths to the fore and putting both Vampasuses in a frankly weird position just in front of the house on the left. In Jeff’s defense, I don’t have any true hammer to threaten them, just a lot of chaff to sit them down eternally. Which is my plan anyway.
Herd 2: Mmmm second turn fighting is best fighting. The Lycan Alpha and some Tribal Warriors sit the Vampasuses down; Centaur troops hit the sharp Revenant Cavalry regiment in the front and flank, routing them before Jeff got to see if they’re any good (sorry buddy); Brutes flank and obliterate one of the Revenant hordes; and the Tribal Warrior horde stalls out on some Wraiths but that’s not unexpected given De 6+. Bane chant had gone on the Brutes but failed (no thanks to the conjurer’s staff). The Lycan horde burns another raze token (2-0).
Undead 2: The Undead clap-back is strong. Those overextended Brutes are killed by Soul Reavers and the horse Vampire (who failed his Host Shadowbeast on 1-1-1); the Centaur troops are both driven off by the Revenant horde and other Soul Reavers, respectively; and through the magic of nimble square bases, one Vampasus flanks the Tribal Warriors fighting the other Vampasus. The regiment wavers. Speaking of frustration, the free Wraiths dive into the waiting Brutes, dealing token damage but stripping their TC and dooming them to a game of struggling to clear a De 6+ chaff troop. Spoilers.
Herd 3: The Hallow is starting to bog down but I’ve still got plenty of hammers on the right to get into the fight. The Stampede helps the Tribal Warrior horde out with their Wraith problem, pounding them up to 14 damage before rolling snake eyes. Balls. Elsewhere, the Lycan Alpha flanks her Vampasus but only does a few damage; the wavered Tribal Warriors back up to let the Great Chieftain ground the other Vampasus; more Tribal Warriors jump on some Soul Reavers (5 damage); and the Brutes struggle with their Wraiths. It looks like I healed them for 1 damage instead of bane chanting to get them back in the game (30 attaks on 4+ / 5+ is only 5 damage, me). Heal (2) is proving to never be the answer if there are combats happening.
Undead 3: Jeff capitalizes on my bad dice by flanking the Tribal Warrior horde with his surviving Revenant horde. They die. My Brutes also bite it when Soul Reavers power downfield to help the Wraiths holding them in place. The other Soul Reavers one round their Tribal Warrior annoyance with ease, and the Vampasuses counter-charge the Lycan Alpha and Great Chieftain for some damage. Note that all these vamp units are lifeleeching 2 damage every time they fight, so I’ve done next to nothing to them. Finally, the Wraiths fighting the Stampede do 1 damage, striping its TC2.
Herd 4: I can still dig this out, but I’m going to need really any cooperation from the dice. Vampasuses are sat down again, that’s easy enough. A second regiment of Tribal Warriors hits the Soul Reavers in the woods – snake eyes but whatever (4 damage). I grab the flank of the other Soul Reavers with another Tribal Warrior regiment – snake eyes despite bane chant (8 damage). Sweet hell, can we stop? The Stampede tosses into the Wraiths again – zero damage with 15 attaks on 3+ / 5+. This ensures the Stampede will be flanked by Revs and shattered. Notice the Centaur Chief who could have safely booped the Wraiths in the flank (1.3 damage avg) or the Lycan in their rear (18 damage avg), although that might have exposed the big worm to the Soul Reaver Cav it’s holding back. Regardless, what a turn.
Undead 4: Both Soul Reaver regiments dismantle Tribal Warrior regiments and continue their rampage. The Revenant horde does smash the Stampede in the flank, as the damn Wraiths cruise away to win the scenario – the unit to the left burns a raze token this turn (2-1). The Vampasuses savage their opponents a bit.
Herd 5: We’re officially in damage control now. The Lycan Alpha and Great Chieftain attak the same Vampasus, but 4 turns of fighting (including 1 flank) only adds up to 6 damage, resulting in nothing. The Lycan horde can either die against the Revenant horde or scoot around and threaten the Soul Reaver Cav. I do the latter. The Druid jukes the central Soul Reaver regiment because life.
Undead 5: One Soul Reaver regiment flanks and kills the Lycan Alpha and the other grudgingly claims the center point. The horse Vamp blends the cowardly Druid. Wraiths and the flying Vampasus burn raze tokens (2-3).
Herd 6: The Lycan horde slams into the Soul Reaver Cavalry at long last, dealing a stellar 10 damage but failing the uninspired 7 needed to rout them. Which would have allowed it to overrun and burn another raze token. Ah well. The Great Chieftain sits his Vampasus down, and the Centaur Chieftain finally kills those mangled Wraiths on the right.
Undead 6: The Lycan horde is flanked by Soul Reavers (and countered by the SRC) and strewn across the battlefield. The horse Vampire runs down the Centaur Chief, while the Great Chieftain is cuddled by a Vampasus.
Turn 7: Wheeeeew one more round then. The Great Chieftain stabs his Vampasus up to 6 damage, achieving nothing. She rocks him up to 12 but snake eyes the rout. Thanks Jeff. With 4 points to my 2, this is a clear …
HALLOW LOSS
Three snakes in a row, coupled with the total Stampede flop, really gutted this match for me. It’s especially hard to come back against an army that hits so hard. I’m here to jam and piece trade and generally make a mess against other combat armies, but bad dice set me further and further back and there’s a limit to how much junk I have Anyway, props to Jeff for seizing opportunities I didn’t even see, like the Wraiths into the Brutes, he deserved a win after being a punching bag for so long.
GAME 27
Jeff and I met up at my house a week or so later for another go after the last game’s flop fest. His list had of course changed again:
The single Revenant horde LL3 anvil this time around, freeing up points for even more Wraiths (the dude is now running 4+ troops last I heard) and the return of the Necromancer. I’m not sure about the SRC’s item (I convinced him to do Sp 9 or nimble recently) but I don’t think they had anything that would have helped with Nv. Spoilers.
We played Plunder this game, because it’s great. I went first one way or another.
BATTLE
Battelines! Goreblights still playing the part of Vampires on Pegasuses.
Turn 1: The Hallow scampers forward, the Wraith’s 14″ charge range keeping me slightly at bay after last game. Tribal Warriors central-left grab a 2 point token – I’m pretty sure the Revenant Cavalry could charge them (hindered) but my Brutes are waiting. The Lycan Alpha hexes the Necromancer for good measure. In return, the Undead mobilize Wraiths and advance cautiously.
Herd 2: What did I say about fighting on the second turn? The Stampede and a Centaur troop aggro the poor Soul Reaver Cav, wavering them on 9 damage. The rightmost Wraiths disappear under the fury of the Lycan horde, but not before the bane chanted Tribal Warrior horde nabs a Vampasus and rends it apart. I am not mucking about. The Rev Cav are triple charged by Centaurs, Tribal Warriors and the Lycan Alpha but unfortunately hold on 10 damage. Also I send some hindered Tribal Warriors into the leftmost Wraiths to sit them down … but do no damage on 5+ / 6+ 😐 Finally, the Tribal Warriors on the far right pick up a token, content to win the game for me.
Undead 2: The Unjammening. The Revenant horde (hindered) flanks those Tribal Warriors pestering the Rev Cav, with said cavalry hitting them in the front. The green bois evaporate, the Rev horde takes their token and faces the Brutes while the Rev Cav sidesteps in front of the Lycan Alpha. Meanwhile, the horse Vamp wavers the Centaur troop on 5 damage and the un-disordered Wraiths on the left hop their Tribal Warriors and scoop up a token. Over on murder hill, Soul Reaver infantry and the surviving Vampasus do 16 damage to the Tribal Warrior horde, but it holds solid (I’m not sure why the other Soul Reavers didn’t join in? He might have thought it was a sure thing and wanted them pointed at the Stampede / Lycan for next turn? In which case they would have been able to reform after combat? I dunno). Remember last game when Wraiths dove some Brutes and we hung out all game? Yep, some Wraiths dive some Brutes and disorder them. I guess it’s good to understand how to counter Guardian Brutes, helps them feel a little less god tier 😛
Herd 3: I gleefully flank the Soul Reavers fighting the Tribal Warrior horde with Brutes, with the horde counter charging to they slide and make room for the Lycan horde to charge the other Soul Reavers. 85 attaks turns the one Soul Reavers into red mist, while the Lycan only manage 8 damage even with bane chant. The Stampede detonates the Soul Reaver Cav, however, and turns to face the rest of the vamps in need of pounding. Over on the left, the Lycan Alpha finishes off the Rev Cav, turning to face the center, and I don’t turn the wavered Centaurs around to menace the Wraiths over there. The Tribal Warriors do though. Finally, the Brutes fighting ghosts do 5 damage and are stuck. Oh, and the Tribal Warriors on the right pick up another token. I’m down 2-3 but there’s plenty of time.
Undead 3: Thanks to the Necromancer’s surge, the Revenant horde joins the (host shadowbeasted) horse Vampire in (hindered) charging the Brutes on the Undead half of the board. 8 damage is solid but not enough to matter. Meanwhile, the Vampasus charges down the very damaged Tribal Warrior horde the old fashioned way, and the Soul Reaver infantry one round the Lycan horde. Yeesh. The Wraiths fighting Brutes do 3 more damage (7 total), and the token-bearing Wraiths on the left befuddle Jeff for a while before he just turns them around. So many options if they don’t have a token, so few if they do. On that point, it’s worth noting that the Rev horde had to drop their 2 point token to surge the Brutes.
Herd 4: The violence reaches a crescendo here at the midpoint, with the Stampede kicking things off by flanking and pulping the Vampasus (TC3 off that hill). The Centaur troop who had escorted them in flanks the Soul Reavers, routing them with the help of the Great Chieftain in the front. The Revenant horde is reared by the Lycan Alpha and countered by the Brutes, to the tune of 13 damage. The other Brutes fight their way free of the Wraiths, and the leftmost Wraiths are (hindered) charged by the same Tribal Warriors again, this time taking a single damage and disordering.
Undead 4: Jeff counters the Lycan Alpha with the Revenant horde, trusting in the mounted Vamp to finish off the Brutes – which turns out to be well founded, as they are indeed blended. The Lycan Alpha takes 6 damage thanks to the Necro’s bane chant but she doesn’t care.
Herd 5: The other Brutes flank the Revenant horde in the name of vengeance, with Centaurs in the rear and Lycan Alpha in the front. They are pounded into the swamp upon which they stood. The other Centaurs flank and kill the last of the Wraiths, giving their token to the Tribal Warriors who spent 5 turns trying to get it, and the Stampede deigns to pick up a 2 pointer itself.
Undead 5: Jeff only has his mounted Vampire left, but thankfully he’s a one man army. The poor Centaur Chief is turned to mulch (18 attaks @ 3+ / 2+).
Turn 6: The Lycan Alpha picks up a token and forgets to hex the Vampire. In response, he zips in (hindered), hosts up, and doesn’t kill her. With all 7 points, this is a …
HALLOW VICTORY
The Undead’s over-extension on the right was punished with extreme prejudice … and decidedly functional dice. I myself didn’t expect the Stampede to max out their WC and grab the Soul Reaver Cav in the second turn, but I couldn’t turn it down, especially when I had a shot at removing their inspiring Vampasus as well. Jeff’s list feels really good, elite punchy Undead seems like the way. If you want to do trash, other armies do it better (because they can march), while Undead have some of the most extreme hammers in the game. I think Jeff’s most current version is double Lykanis instead of Vampasus? And quadruple Wraiths, for obvious reasons.
Anyway, that’s all the practice I got before Pilgrimage! The tournament report should be up in a week or two.
The final match of Crossroads 2022 sees Cuddle Time rocketing up from the bottom tables to face The Other Canadian Team. Will the Cuddlers be able to finish strong and continue climbing the rankings, or will they find themselves consigned to the snuggle zone for another year?
ROUND FIVE: TEAM EAGER BEAVERS
Northern Alliance
Trident Realm
Free Dwarfs
Forces of Nature
Operating according to the plan, I put our Ogres into Trident Realm for the second time that day (SORRY DREW), gave our Ratkin the Forces of Nature and their air elementals (SORRY HUGGINS), the Riftforged faced Northern Alliance in a smashfest, and I ended up facing the Free Dwarfs.
Free Dwarfs 2300 Free Dwarf Rangers Regiment Free Dwarf Rangers Regiment *Free Dwarf Shieldbreakers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff *Free Dwarf Shieldbreakers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff *Free Dwarf Shieldbreakers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Ironclad Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Ironclad Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Ironclad Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff Dwarf Lord on Large Beast – Blade of Slashing Dwarf Lord on Large Beast – Mace of Crushing *Free Dwarf Lord – Wings of Honeymaze, Lord’s Jewel [1] Herneas the Hunter [1] Free Dwarf Stone Priest – Bane Chant (2), Alchemist Curse [1] (3) Dwarf Army Standard Bearer – Lute of Insatiable Darkness
Have I really never reported a Free Dwarfs game?? Is it possible I’ve never faced them??? Regardless, I have faced off against everything but the formation before (it gives the flying Lord scout and brutal, and the Shieldbreakers get nimble and brutal and must purchase scout), so it’s not entirely unknown. I appreciate how high drop and regiment heavy his list is, plus it’s all FMC which makes all those bodies standout. The dude himself was relatively new to Kings – this was his first tournament away from his home town events (Hamilton, ON I believe) – and super nice.
We played Control, which I played 3 out of 4 games, often by choice. I wouldn’t have told you this was the go to for my list, but it makes sense, with how relatively little movement is involved and how much effect 23″ scoot-n-shoot units can have from the central sections. He scouted and then went first, in one of the only instances where I would have taken it 😉
BATTLE
Battlelines! Also scouting phase!Scouting flying heroes are really cool, cause if you get first turn you can … Oh no.
Free Dwarfs 1: The Dwarfs advance their non-scouting elements, including the dogs taking their place on the right. The real power move is obviously the Lord flying into the central Heartpiercers, booping them for 3 damage but more importantly a) turning off their shooting and b) trapping the other Heartpiercer unit behind them, which needed to move up to get into range and looks to be base to base with the booped unit. Ugh. The Coral Giant takes 2 damage from Herneas’ enormous crossbow and I think the Rangers back in the field.
Trident 1: The crabs are in no rush on the flanks, with the Kraken mostly rotating to menace some flanks in coming turns and/or project threat. Speaking of menace, the Coral Giant grimly rotates to help deal with the damn flying Lord next turn, which is easier thanks the trident Centurion landing 2 damage and grounding him. The two Heartpiercer units that can fire slam a respectable 5 damage into the first Ironclad regiment marching down the center of the board.
Free Dwarfs 2: The Lord stomps over to another Heartpiercer unit and bashes it for 2 damage, turning off its shooting and once again trapping that Heartpiercer unit behind it. Dammit. Herneas, the Rangers and the damaged Ironclad’s mastiff put the Coral Giant on 6 damage. Otherwise the Dwarfs continue to push the middle while redressing the right flank as my Sp 7+ threats scuttle closer.
Trident 2: I fight the urge to dive those Ironclad with the Coral Giant, instead sticking to the plan and charging the Dwarf Lord (with Hearpiercers counter-charging). Frustratingly the Lord only wavers on 10 damage, costing me another turn dealing with him. Available shooting shoves those Ironclad to 10 damage but they too refuse to break (or waver even). I’m content to waffle on the right flank as well while I figure out the center.
Free Dwarfs 3: The Dwarf battleline fully reforms as the Rangers step into place. Alchemist Curse from the Iron Priest, Herneas’ ballista, another Ironclad mastiff and possibly some Ranger shots put 8 damage on the left Kraken, which converts to a lucky 9-10 waver. Shooting is less effective against the right Kraken, where both Mastiff pack’s throwing mastiffs do 3ish damage.
Trident 3: Tired of waiting, I let rip on the right, sending the Water Elementals into the Ironclads in the woods and threading the Kraken into some Shieldbreakers. The brutal Centurion charges a Mastiff pack to hold it in place. While none of these combats break (Ironclads hold on 6, Shiledbreakers waver, Mastiffs hold on 3) I’m hopefully well positioned to grind for a couple turns. In the center, the Coral Giant finishes pounding the Dwarf Lord into the mud, and Heartpiercers see the damaged Ironclad off. The trident Centurion has a go at the left Dwarf Lord on Large Beast but De 6+ is too stronk.
Now we’re playing Kings!
Free Dwarfs 4: A lot of time goes into unpacking his options on the right, and we conclude that a) the Kraken cannot in fact be flanked by anything and b) the Kraken can’t corkscrew the Ironclad if the Shieldbreakers stay in its face. So: Rangers and Ironclad combo the Water Elementals (for 6 damage), and the brutal Centurion either takes 3 damage from the counter-charging Mastiffs or from two thrown mastiffs. If it was the former, then the mastiffs were probably tossed at the Kraken or the Placoderms but failed to do a wound. In the center, the Coral Giant holds his ground against the Free Dwarf shooting, sitting tight at 11 damage.
Trident 4: The sound of hungrily clacking claws can be heard as very large crabs plow into the Dwarfs. In the center, a Kraken rampages into some Ironclad as the Coral Giant smashes into their flank, while the trident Centurion holds off the DLOLB over there. On the right, the Water Elementals aim to finish off the other Ironclad and the Kraken prepares to brutalize the Shieldbreakers it had already softened up. The brutal Centurion meanwhile continues petting some dogs, brutally.
All four Heartpiercer regiments are finally allowed to shoot, and the rain of barbs puts 7 damage on the central Rangers and 1 on the regiment in the woods. In combat, all the Dwarf units rout, including the Mastiffs. The Water Elementals sidestep (CRAB. WALK.) to stay in front of the wood Rangers and the brutal Centurion overruns to try to help the right Kraken out, who is in quite a predicament with fighty Dwarfs to either flank. I end up overrunning with the big guy, which puts only a DLOLB in his flank and not Shieldbreakers as well. The slayer Centurion puts 1 damage on his DLOLB.
Free Dwarfs 5: With just a handful of minutes left on the clock, the Dwarfs swing for the fences. Both Dwarf Lords on Large Beasts charge Kraken, ensnared in the front on the left and happily in the flank on the right. Shieldbreakers double charge the brutal Centurion (one ensnared to the front, one clear in the flank and hoping for an overrun into the right Kraken’s other flank). And the Rangers in the wood take on the Water Elementals again (sitting on 6 damage), with the help of bane chant.
Dwarfs on Large Beasts vs Titanic Crabs
Herneas and his Rangers topple the Coral Giant with shooting, shortly before the rest of the Rangers hew down the Water Elemental horde. The Shieldbreakers only manage to waver the brutal Centurion, denying them their overrun into the right Kraken, which would certainly have helped as the right DLOLB only lands 3 damage out of 14 attaks on 3s and 2s. The DLOLB in the center does 2 damage to his Kraken. With that, the Free Dwarfs clock out.
Trident 5: With less than 5 minutes left, I send Heartpiercers into the bottom left section, claim the bottom right with Placoderms (I don’t bother swinging on the Mastiff pack in their face), and shoot the central Rangers off from the safety of the bottom center. The Kraken swing on the Large Beasts to little effect, but the US 1 of the central Kraken contests the DLOLB, meaning the Dwarfs only score the upper right with all three of their remaining regiments. At a score of 3 to 1, that’s a resounding …
TRIDENT VICTORY
It occurs to me that I might have charged the Dwarf ASB with my Kraken in the upper right, with an overrun that might have shot that Kraken into the upper center section, claiming it … but whatever, I was keeping it simple on account of time, burn out and already winning. My opponent was a pleasure to play and sounds like he learned some stuff from our game, which is always nice to hear. Hoping to see him at King Beyond the Wall next year, after missing it the last couple times.
Cuddle Time did well this round, I think winning 2-3 of our games. With a very solid Day 2 and a decent paint score, we actually ended up finishing 11th out of 20 teams! Which I’ll take any day. We also did quite well on Sports, I think getting second most sportsing? Awesome.
Ain’t kidding about that cuddling!
Big thanks to my fellow Cuddlers for another year of being cool and enjoying our race to the bottom. I’m especially proud that everybody but me painted brand new armies for the event! A fact I didn’t piece together until just now.
And thank you for reading! Hopefully I’ll be back soon with some reflection on playing Trident Realm for an entire tournament season, it’s certainly been an adventure but I could really use a break 🦀
After a late night of playing Kill Team, watching board games, talking about Warmachine 4E and obligatory drinking, I passed out only to rise far too soon 😩 It’s Day 2 and time to slam into the bottom tables, Cuddle Time style.
ROUND FOUR: TEAM BIG DEAD ONE
Order of the Green Lady
Trident Realm
Empire of Dust
Undead
BDO was made up of two dudes whose team fell apart plus two of my clubmates (the Empire of Dust and the Undead (yes that’s Jeff from all my scrumming beforehand)). True to my captaining plans, I matched our Ogres into Trident Realm, Riftforged into Empire of Dust, Ratkin into Undead, and took the Order of the Green Lady for myself.
Brotherhood: Order of the Green Lady 2300 Order of the Forsaken Horde – Boots of Striding Earth Elementals Horde Earth Elementals Horde Order of Redemption Regiment – Brew of Strength Order of Redemption Regiment – Mead of Madness Order of the Brotherhood – Banner of the Green Lady [1] Naiad Ensnarers Regiment Centaur Bray Hunters Troop Centaur Bray Hunters Troop Pegasus Exemplar Redeemer – Blade of the Beast Slayer Druid – Shroud of the Saint, Heal (2(4)), Bane Chant (2), Surge (4) Devoted – Heal (3), Surge (7)
Bryant was super excited to play me, as we’d either always narrowly avoided each other or played once back in 2E or even Fantasy times. I’m a fan of his army, great Bretonnian feel and a faction I very rarely face. The list itself seemed legit? If hamstrung by cavalry’s middling place in this edition.
We played Pillage (or maybe Salt the Earth without any salting), with the Brotherhood going first one way or another.
BATTLE
Battlelines!
Green Lady 1: The Order canters forward, with caution on the wings and a trudging wall of rock in the center.
Trident 1: Crabs respond with a generalized scuttling. I’m content to make his life hell on the left flank, as he’s put a ton of points over there when the only token is the one on his side. Heartpiercers punch 2 damage onto the Centaur troop hanging out on the upper right token.
Bun Bun, Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, prepares to sate her hunger for crab flesh.
Green Lady 2: Indecision racks the Order’s lines, ultimately seeing the right advance a bit, the center widen its coverage, and the left mobilize Centaur chaff while preparing to thunder into combat next turn.
Trident 2: Placoderms advance on the right, being a terrible charge target for the cavalry over there, as I try to swap the Coral Giant and Water Elementals without touching the forest. Heartpiercers back up and put 6 damage on the strength Redemption reg on the right and 1 on the annoying Centaurs on the left. The slayer-trident Centurion fires at the Forsaken horde and fails to get a single damage, leaving them free to fly. What a champ. The Kraken don’t take the bait, letting the Order deal with their own chaff.
Bunny Pegasus with the #promove block.
Green Lady 3: While the right side of the Order line faffs around – and heals all the damage on the Redemption cav! – the left goes hard. Redemption knights (hindered) and Forsaken horde (striding boots) slam into the Kraken in the woods, ensnare be damned, as the Pegasus charges the other Kraken to block him up. Despite taking 11 damage, the multi-charged Kraken only wavers. And the Peg does a tight 3 damage from 3 attaks, nice.
Trident 3: The right arm of the crab war machine grudgingly pumps Heartpiercer rounds into the strength Redemption (2 damage, which I know will vanish), presents terrible Placoderm charges and unjams the Coral Giant / Water Elemental situation. We’re both still avoiding the LOS blocking void that is that forest.
Over on the left, the wavered Kraken skitters 4.5″ backwards and regenerates down to 3 damage (hahaha I love it). The other Kraken bops the Pegabun for 6 damage but flubs the rout (might have wavered her). Heartpiercers and trident Centurion combine fire into the Forsaken, doing a bunch of damage and wavering them. I’ll take it.
Kraken getting pumped to power lift a second time.
Green Lady 4: The Order pushes the center at last, with the strength Redemption finally giving up the right flank and skirting the woods to reinforce the middle. On the left, the mead Redemption charge back into the Kraken they’ve been hunting, with the support of the Forsaken again … which was illegal, as he forgot they were wavered and when we remembered during my turn, he rolled their headstrong test and failed it. The Kraken held solid on 10 damage (hindered and ensnared is rough), so vaguely a moot point, but Bryant tore himself up about it all game.
Trident 4: The whole Forsaken issue is cleared up when Bun Bun’s Kraken corkscrews their flank and smashes them into man/horse/bird parts. Heartpiercers from the center punch across and kill Bun Bun, while the trident Centurion strips the TC from the Brotherhood knights. The other Kraken counter-charges the mead Redemption, slapping 5 damage into them, but ominously only regening down to 8 damage himself.
Elsewhere, Placoderm invite the Order to have a go in the center, the Coral Giant breaks the wood line to become a Problem next turn, and the Water Elementals attempt to punch through the Exemplar Redeemer and into the flank of the strength Redemption. It’s a tall ask, so of course the gigantic crab/horde does next to no damage 😀
And finally, the Heartpiercers on the right skewer the Ensnarers that had dared to come into view around the house.
The sweet, sweet overrun that was not to be.
Green Lady 5: With about 10 minutes left on their clock, the Order lets rip. Mead Redemption and pathfinder Brotherhood knights on the left crash into a Kraken each, thunderous be damned. Both Earth Elemental hordes bash into the waiting claws of the Placoderms (one hindered), and the Redeemer counter-charges the Water Elementals.
It took three charges, but the Order of the Redemption finally drop the titanic crab beast they’d spent the game dueling. The other Kraken lucky wavers on 7 damage (box cars!), however that luck doesn’t hold for the Earth Elementals, which do a paltry 6 damage to the central Placoderms. The Redeemer carves 3 into the Water Elementals.
Trident 5: Vengeance is swift as the Water Elementals batter down the Redeemer, even if regrettably missing the ~4″ overrun into the strength Redemption regiment behind. No other combat is as decisive, with the Coral Giant tearing chunks out of one Earth Elemental horde, the Placoderms poking the other, and the central Heartpiercers and trident Centurion pushing the mead Redemption up to 10 damage but only finding a waver.
Green Lady 6: The last 4 minutes of the Order of the Green Lady’s clock is largely spent frantically rolling combat dice. (The mead Redemption reg failed their headstrong, though the strength Redemption hit the Water Elementals with Centaurs in the flank.)
The Water Elementals are triumphantly torn down, but that signals the last of the Order’s momentum. The Brotherhood knights waver their Kraken again and Earth Elementals waver the Placoderms and apparently do nothing at all against the Coral Giant (he may have clocked out before rolling it).
Trident 6: Heartpiercers shoot off the mead Order of the Retribution, the Coral Giant dunks his Earth Elemental horde, and the Heartpiercers on the right I believe tried and failed to remove the Centaur troop they started the game shooting at. With no Turn 7 and 3 objectives to 2, this is a decisive …
TRIDENT VICTORY
All told a very fun match against an enthusiastic player. Bryant was really down about his play not being clean that morning – the waver token, undoing moves without marking corners, etc – and despite me assuring him it was cool he felt pretty bad. Regardless, I hope to face him again some time in a non-team event.
Speaking of teams, Cuddle Time did very well this round, scoring the maximum 60 points or just shy of it. With this hearty bounce buoying our spirits we headed into the final match-ups.
The final round of the first day of the Crossroads GT sees Cuddle Time up against the other Western NY team. While I’m excited to play another match, I’m also totally happy with this being my last of the day, after working my other-other job the night before. Onto the carnage.
ROUND THREE: TEAM HARLEQUIN HOBBY
Forces of the Abyss
Goblins
Undead
Ogres
I put our elite Ratkin into trash-n-hammers Goblins, Riftforged into Abyss, Ogres into Ogres and faced the Undead myself. Partially because I’ve been fighting them all the time but also because check out his list:
I love it so much. Troop spam Undead is not a thing I thought I’d see, yet here it is, in all its pre-Soul Reaver nerf majesty. I’m almost positive I don’t have enough shooting to survive this – especially with the legions in there as well – but I’m excited to cause a mess at least. (I’m not 100% on the last 30 points of his list, so I’m guessing he took those spells, because I would.)
We played Control (second time for me!), and he’s a smart player so had me go first 😦
BATTLE
Battlelines! That central hill being a clutch 20th unit for the Undead.
Trident 1: The crabs scuttle forward, which may or may not have been a good idea since I know what the Undead are aiming to do to my poor crustaceans. If there’s a dim silver lining to the Zombie legions, my Water Elemental horde has sharpness and not strength entirely because De 2+ Zombies exist. So, um, no pressure on your upcoming lift, big guy.
Undead 1: Here they come! The living dead match the crab lines. Those Zombies in the upper left did remember to shamble forward eventually. Also the Necromancer is hiding behind that building in the upper right, as a horrible old crone animating corpses does.
Trident 2: I redress my lines a bit to accept the Undead’s imminent hugs, toss bastion on the central Placoderms, and fire all Heartpiercers available into the Rev Cav troop. Thankfully they crumble under the barrage – Rev Cav are notoriously hard for me to kill and I knew they’d drive me crazy if they survived. And that’s it.
Let the all you-can-blend crab buffet begin!
Undead 2: Ghouls and vampires charge up and over the central hill, crashing into the crabby lines. Ghouls and Ghast into the left Kraken, Ghouls into the brutal Centurion, double Ghouls into the central Kraken, and Soul Reavers into the bastioned Placoderms. The next wave of Soul Reavers prepare to clean up the mess once the Ghouls are dispatched, as the Zombies hove ever closer on the right.
The crabs stand firm, despite the damages: left Kraken to 6, brutal Centurion to 3, central Kraken to ?, Placoderms to 7. Time to clap back.
Trident 3: The Kraken both counter-charge and devour Ghoul troops, the brutal Centurion drives his Ghouls away, and the (bastion-less, thanks to the Envoy needing to run) Placoderms decide to hindered corkscrew the other Ghouls harassing the central Kraken instead of countering their Soul Reavers. The math is way better that they’ll actually do any damage, plus it means the Soul Reavers can be shot. As it turns out, the Placoderms do ZERO damage to the Ghouls, but Heartpiercers do stick 5 into the Soul Reavers. Other shooting grudgingly puts 1 point of damage on both Zombie legions, simply for lack of targets.
In more daring news, I decide after a long while to send the Water Elementals with Placoderm ‘support’ into the central Zombie regiment, as the overrun escapes the Zombie legion’s arc and I’ve basically decided I shouldn’t even start putting damage on the legions, as I don’t have the assets to seal either of those deals. The Zombie regiment does evaporate and my units do escape the Zombie’s arc … but come on dude, surge is totally a thing 😐 Also I shove some Heartpiercers in front of the right Zombie legion in the interest of buying time.
Undead 3: All five Soul Reaver Infantry troops make contact with their quarries: brutal Centurion, central Kraken, damaged Placoderm flank (with Ghouls in the front), other Placoderms, and Water Elemental. The Vampire Lord also skips over to the scuttlin’ Envoy, who has done nothing wrong ever. A Zombie legion (hindered) and the Goreblight lurch into the rightmost Heartpiercers as well, and, after a brief pause …
One Surge Later.
… the other Zombie legion rear charges the Water Elementals (hindered). Oh, and the Ghast charges back into the left Kraken.
After all the blending, everybody but the ensnaring dudes on the left are shredded and/or messily devoured. But sadly those same dudes – brutal Centurion and central Kraken – are both wavered (6 and 5 damage respectively). Losing fresh Placoderms to a Soul Reaver troop is pretty surprising, however having your inspiring source decapitated makes that a little more likely.
Trident 4: Things are getting squirrely with so many Undead threats still on the table and my momentum slipping away, but the crabs take what they can. Heartpiercers finish off the wounded Soul Reaver infantry, while spacing out for the inevitable Zombie legions baring down on them. The Coral Giant wakes from his slumber to pound the last of the Ghoul troops into jelly, and the left Kraken flanks some Soul Reavers only to waver them. I’ll take it. Also I regen a bunch.
Undead 4: Maybe I poorly measured the 10″ needed or maybe IDAGF at this point, but two Heartpiercers are flanked by Zombie legions (hindered) and the Goreblight (hindered) – honestly a surge may have been involved in one case, hard to tell. In vampiric news, the Vampire Lord somersaults into the trident Centurion in the pond as Soul Reavers power into the central Kraken and the Coral Giant. The Ghast also continues to be a pest, flanking the left Kraken for 1 damage (up to 3).
Inset: Crabs In Predicaments
RIP the central Kraken, killed before his time (the Soul Reavers back up). The Coral Giant however just takes it on the chin, going up to 6 damage. The trident Centurion successfully parries the Vampire Lord’s flurry of blows, taking 6 damage and holding. Of his Heartpiercer charges, one is mauled by the Goreblight and 60 friends, while the other takes only 2 damage and survives a Zombie legion flank.
Trident 5: The crabs break open a new box of stakes and prepare to slay some more vampires. Kraken re-flanks Soul Reavers with the brutal Centurion in the front, while the Coral Giant counter-charges his Soul Reavers with some commando Hearpiercers flanking them (hindered). The trident Centurion backs up, regenerating and daring the Vampire Lord to have another go, and the last of the functional Heartpiercers attempt to snipe out the Necromancer (but flub it with 1 damage).
Both combats go well, seeing two more Soul Reaver troops turned to ash.
Undead 5: The Goreblight wavers the swamp Heartpiercers (2 damage), the Vampire Lord wavers the trident Centurion (7 damage), and that damn Ghast wavers the Coral Giant (8 damage)! Those last Soul Reavers on the left rear charge the other Heartpiercers, turning them into mist. A Zombie legion balanced on a wall was in their front as well but whatever.
As this is a game of control, you can see the Zombies upper left and bottom right holding to their zones. Likewise the upper right Soul Reavers.
Trident 6: The remaining Kraken and brutal Centurion front charge the central Soul Reavers, slapping them around until their broke. Nice. The Centurion overruns to protect the Coral Giant (I don’t understand why the big guy didn’t turn to face the Zombies, maybe he did and I didn’t turn the model? Weird flex.) The trident Centurion stumbles back deeper into the swamp, again challenging the Vampire Lord.
Undead 6: The Zombie legion trips into the brutal Centurion (hindered and ensnared) and the Vampire Lord backflips off a stump into the trident Centurion.
While the brutal Centurion easily fends off the hug train of the Zombie legion, the Vampire Lord finally gets what he wants, skewering the trident Centurion, whose blue blood is brackish, cold and extremely dissatisfying. Speaking of dissatisfaction, the Goreblight’s (hindered) affections leave the Heartpiercers unmoved.
Trident 7: The crabs take this lucky last moment to get on the board, with the surviving Kraken scooting away into the lower left sector. The Coral Giant and brutal Centurion bash 9 damage onto the central Zombie legion but it’s not enough to clear them and their US4 out. The Heartpiercers also don’t magically remove the Goreblight accosting them.
Whatever the Undead did in their turn, they didn’t have the movement to secure any more Control sectors, making this 1 to 5 for a resounding …
TRIDENT LOSS
While I had hoped to do a little better, and might have with a different terrain setup or control of the initiative, it was fun to face a really dynamic Undead list doing something different. I goofed up with the Zombie legions a couple times, however I also didn’t allocate anything to deal with them, so having them essentially close out the win makes sense. Likewise that Ghoul Ghast who I disrespected the entire game and never swung on, but got that Coral Giant waver that took the last of my momentum away. Well played, deadites.
Cuddle Time once again did pretty poorly as a team, with a single victory (either the Riftforged or the Ratkin took it). This put us on a very low score for Day 1, something like 34 points out of a possible 180, but that just means we’d finally be getting the bottom table cuddle we signed up for 😉
Welcome to the first of four reports covering the 2022 Crossroads GT! Held in picturesque Elmira, NY, Crossroads kept up the four-player team format this year, with five 2300 point games of Kings of War over two days. Crossroads was also continuing to use Blackjack Scoring. I took up the mantle of Cuddle Captain once again for Team Cuddle Time, even though I sadly had to miss the first game due to a scheduling conflict the day before. A bummer to be sure, but there was another three-player team so it happened to work out without needing a ringer. Anyway, on to lists:
CUDDLE TIME III: THE REVENGE
Ratkin 2300 Shock Troops Horde – Plague Pots Shock Troops Horde – Plague Pots Nightmares Horde – Fire-Oil Nightmares Horde Mutant Rat-fiend *Death Engine Spewer *Shredder *Shredder Scudku-z’luk, Demonspawn of Diew [1] – Lightning Bolt (5) Tangle [1] – Bane Chant (1+), Fireball (10+), Mind Fog (1+), Weakness (1+) War Chief – Sacred Horn, Aura (Vicious(M): Infantry) Brute Enforcer – Lute of Insatiable Darkness *Smoke, Mirrors and Death Formation
Ogres 2300 Siege Breakers Horde – Chalice of Wrath Siege Breakers Horde – Staying Stone Hunters Horde – Brew of Haste Boomers Horde – Fire-Oil Warrior Chariots Regiment – Boots of Striding Berserker Braves Regiment Berserker Braves Regiment Red Goblin Scouts Troop Red Goblin Scouts Troop Red Goblin Scouts Troop Berserker Bully – Torc of Dissonance Nomagarok [1] – Bane Chant (3+), Heal (4+), Lightning Bolt (4+) Ogre Warlock – Lightning Bolt (3+), Drain Life (5+) Ogre Warlock – Lightning Bolt (3+), Scorched Earth (2)
(I did fix that Placo’s broken arm when I had a free moment …)
Trident Realm 2300 Water Elementals Horde – Brew of Sharpness Placoderms Regiment Placoderms Regiment Heartpiercers Regiment Heartpiercers Regiment Heartpiercers Regiment Heartpiercers Regiment Kraken Kraken Coral Giant Naiad Centurion – Axe of the Giant Slayer, Trident of the Drowned Sea [1] Naiad Centurion – Pipes of Terror Naiad Envoy – Aura (Fury: Infantry & Heavy Infantry), Bastion [1] (2)
The Cuddle Time line up was, per usual, a mix of brawler lists with some shooting and control added for flavor (crab-flavored this time around). Crossroads has a match up phase at the start of each round, where matched up teams put forth two of their armies and the winner of a dice roll gets to decide which two will fight, while the loser decides which scenario they’ll play out of a limited pool for that round. Then the other two teams are presented and the roles reverse.
My goals as captain were a) to try to get my team scenarios that they were cool playing; b) to avoid putting a Me 4+ army into heavy ensnare; and c) to avoid personally fighting Ogres. That was about all my sleep-deprived brain could handle and I more or less accomplished all three … with apologies to our Ogre player, who spent most of the weekend fighting Trident Realm or Ogres 😐
ROUND ONE: TEAM COBRA KAI
The Herd
The Herd
Abyssal Dwarfs
I was driving to the event during the first round, but when I arrived I got the update that it had not gone great! Turns out my 5 point bye was our second highest score
ROUND TWO: TEAM BUFFALO KOW
Halflings
Orcs
Sylvan Kin
Riftforged Orcs
While I can’t remember who we fed to the Sylvan Kin, I do know we arranged a Riftoff 😀 And I ended up facing Halflings for possibly the first time ever …
Halflings 2300 Stalwarts Horde – Hammer of Measured Force Juggers Horde – Brew of Strength, Relentless Juggers Regiment – Potion of the Caterpillar, Relentless Aeronauts Regiment – Wine of Elvenkind Aeronauts Regiment – Brew of Haste Braves Regiment Braves Regiment Iron Beast – Pride of the Shires [1] Muster Captain on Winged Aralez – Aegis of the Elohi, Relentless Gunnery Sergeant on Troll – Relentless Gunnery Sergeant on Troll Engineer – Aura (WC (+1): Tinker), Radiance of Life (Tinker), Gadgets and Gizmos [1], Halfling Long Rifle Sauceror – Sacred Horn
Yowza, that’s a lot of special rules to remember – check out the quadruple upgrades on the Engineer, none of which are magic artefacts! I’ve spent enough time with the Halfling list, and hearing about the army in action, to know that the Aeronauts are the real menace here. Everything else is more or less a standard or slightly worse version of what it looks like. As an aside, the army was being piloted by a local dude (Tim?) who I haven’t played since Fantasy days and hadn’t really played much of third edition. He admitted to being an AOS guy but when the Crossroads AOS event fell apart he was recruited to help fill a team out. Regardless, he was a pleasure and I tried to point out any gotchas during our game.
We played Control, with the Halflings going first.
BATTLE
Battlelines! Also I did not realize that was a Jugger horde until he deployed it …
Halfings 1: The host sallies forth in a graceful crescent (roll) formation. Also the Engineer snipes 1 damage on the trident Centurion over on the right. The left Aeronauts are the Sp 8 ones, and while the right ones have nimble, I don’t believe it ever came up again.
Trident 1: A general scuttling in response, with Krakens flexing some charge distances and me regretting everything I put on the right. I hem and haw and decide to push hard on the right Aeronauts, bringing the Centurion into range. His slayer-trident and the Heartpiercers only stick 4 damage, failing to waver. Other shooting manage 1 damage on the Jugger regiment (after iron resolve) and 2 on the Stalwarts.
Ensnare and hindering be damned!
Halflings 2: The left flank jockeys for position as Braves are mobilized to get in the way, while the center slowly presses forward. Troll Sergeants pepper the left Placoderms and right Kraken with 1 damage each, and the Engineer does the same to the Water Elementals. The real action, sadly, is the Aeronauts plowing into the trident Centurion (let’s pretend he did 1 damage and grounded them) and blowing him the hell up. Irreducible blast Me 4+ is pretty neat, especially against -2 to hit.
Trident 2: I shake off the loss of my Very Cool Gun but am now doubly afraid of the left Aeronauts looming 18″ off my left flank. The brutal Centurion charges into the Muster Captain on Winged Aralez, grounding him (even if doing 0 damage after double IR) while I clear some room for the Coral Giant to do something eventually. Heartpiercers push the Jugger reg to 3 damage, the Pride of the Shires to 2 and the Stalwart horde to 3. Over on the right, I shove Heartpiercers into the Jugger horde to buy the Water Elementals some time (and do 1 damage in the process, despite being hindered <3). It’s a good thing too, because the Water Elementals only do 3-4 damage to the Aeronauts, but at least they waver the death zeppelins.
Halflings 3: The main story here is the Jugger horde feeding the Heartpiercers on the right to their dogs while the center advances more confidently and the Braves on the left continue to bait the crabs. The Muster Captain does 2 damage to the brutal Centurion and a Troll Sergeant plinks the left Placoderms up to 3 damage. We also remember that the Iron Beast has iron resolve, so remove its damage from previous turns. Finally, the Saucerer decides to do some Gastromancy – quite sure Rally (1) was on the menu.
Trident 3: I think for a long time (17 min left on my clock at the half way mark of the game!), and decide to crush his bait and give the left Aeronauts some of their own. Placoderms and Coral Giant smash the Braves, with CeeGee turning to face the center (spoiler: gunning for that Pride) and the Placos protecting his rear as the Kraken looms / prepares to be Aeronauted directly. The Centurion continues to ground the Muster Captain (and regenerate). In the center, more Placoderms (enjoying bastion) hold the Pride of the Shires in place so the Kraken can grind the Stalwarts down. They’re up to 10 damage but still have a ways to go. On the right, the Water Elementals finally finish off their Aeronauts and face the Jugger horde salivating in their direction.
Harpoons have of course been flying during all this combat: Heartpiercers finish off the Jugger reg to the left and start in on the right Brave regiment (looks like 4 damage worth).
Halflings 4: Perhaps wisely, the Aeronauts don’t take any of their available charges, leaving the Jugger horde the only fresh (hindered) charge into the Water Elementals. Many counter-charges happen across the board (Muster Captain to Centurion, Iron Beast to Placoderms, Stalwarts to Kraken), and gun fire pops into the left Placos (4 damage) and rightmost Heartpiercers (1 damage).
The Muster Captain lucky wavers the brutal Centurion, but damage is low across the board, with the Placos taking 4 and the Kraken 2. Oh, except of course the Water Elementals are pulled apart by the Juggers.
Trident 4: Wasting no time, the Coral Giant crashes into the flank of the Pride of the Shires, tearing it asunder, as the central Kraken gently rampages the Stalwarts up to 15 damage. Heartpiercers target the left Troll Sergeant (1 damage) and the surviving Braves (7 total) but really I’m left waiting to see what those Aeronauts are doing and willfully ignoring the Jugger horde out on the right flank.
You’ll notice that the left Kraken didn’t charge the Muster Captain and that the left Placoderms have wandered forward with the flying monster in their flank. I’m pretty sure I’m baiting the Aeronauts to have a go at the Placos so my Kraken can at least hold them in place for the rest of the game. If the Kraken had charged the fresh Muster Captain, he would have fluffed and been flanked by the Aeronauts.
Halflings 5: Able to fly free, the Muster Captain swoops into the flank of the left Placoderms, swinging for the fences and taking the hardy crabs off … but without the help of the Aeronauts, who continue to abstain. In the center, the Braves squeak past the building and flank the Kraken menacing the Stalwarts, but any damage to the titanic crustacean is minimal (4 total).
Trident 5: The drama on the left flank continues as the brutal Centurion and Kraken pounce on the victorious Muster Captain, yet can only manage 5 damage (7 before double resolve). The Coral Giant moves closer to supervise, freeing up space for the Placoderms in the center to flank and scatter the Stalwarts and the central Kraken to counter the Braves and spread them across the field. Heartpiercer fire goes into Troll Sergeants, however they’re hardy heroes.
Oh. No.
Halfling 6: Tim spies a gnarly overrun through the Centurion into the left Kraken, but it’s not to be as the brutal Centurion soaks a relatively light bombing run with only 5 damage. The Muster Captain meanwhile does 0-1 damage to the Kraken in his grill. The remnants of the Halfling army back out of LOS or they’re a Jugger horde who isn’t scared of a pillow-fisted Kraken charge.
Trident 6: The Coral Giant thunders into the flank of the Muster Captain, ripping him off his flying doggo and spiking the diminutive hero. His Aralez flies off to do best boy things in a less crabby land. This frees the left Kraken and brutal Centurion to finally take a crack at the Aeronauts, however 6 damage isn’t enough to matter. Otherwise the crabs secure their hold on the map, and I clock out.
With no Turn 7 and a 4 to 2 control score, this is a …
TRIDENT VICTORY
My opponent was a gent and I hope he went on to have a good time. As it turned out, I was the only win for Cuddle Time this round. Summoning the power of Even More Caffeine, I reracked the crabs and headed into the final match of the day.
Anyway, props to Jeff for seizing opportunities I didn’t even see, like the Wraiths into the Brutes, he deserved a win after being a punching bag for so long.
BLOODFIRE 