(Months pass, seasons change, and yet these reports remain unsung … no longer!)

After a stellar first day, my green Herd are on Table 3 up against another familiar face but with some new toys courtesy of the Big Red Book.


Basileans 2150

Elohi Horde – Wine of Elvenkind, Celestial Fury
Ogre Palace Guard Horde – Chalice of Wrath
Ogre Palace Guard Horde – Staying Stone
Sisterhood Scouts Regiment
Sisterhood Scouts Regiment
Paladin Foot Guard Regiment – Orb of Towering Presence
Paladin Knights Troop – Skirmisher’s Boots, Aegis Fragment
Heavy Arbalest
Heavy Arbalest
Gnaeus Sallustis [1]
Priest – Conjurer’s Staff; Heal (3), Bane Chant (2)
13 (23)

I love Chris’ army, and Kings of Warmachine armies in general. He’s added a lot of shooting since my crabs last faced him, which is somewhat concerning, but fewer Elohi is a win? I tell myself as I prepare to overthink the single horde he has brought.

The fourth round was Booty, a modified Push where each token carried after the first gives -1 Sp down to a minimum of Sp 1. The tokens are otherwise standard loot tokens (so Sp 5 max, no surge, no nimble, no windblast, etc). Basilea\ went first because shooting.


Battlelines! Or slightly after the scouting phase anyway. He’s got two tokens in the hard left Paladin Foot Guard and one in the Sisterhood Scouts near them. I’ve got two in my Tribal Warrior horde and one in the Tribal Warrior reg on the right.

Turn 1: The Basileans form a #murdercrescent, with shooting removing the Centaurs protecting the Brutes and doing 7 damage to the Tribal Warrior horde and 2 to the regiment to the left. Ouch. The Hallow punches it up the center and baits with the Centaurs on the right.

Basileans 2: Chris’ forces largely drift around the left or back up, with the Knight troop flanking the bait Centaurs on the right. Shockingly they survive and are unwavered! Shooting wavers the Tribal Warriors in the central woods but crucially leaves my advanced Brutes holding on 7 damage.

Herd 2: My Lycan Alpha charges off to the left, grounding a Phoenix. The damaged Brutes power up the field into some Sisterhood Scouts, dunking them and spinning to face the Ogre Palace Guard duo. On the right, the Centaurs charge off to bother Gnaeus and the Knight troop is flanked themselves – again to limited effect! I had held the Lycans back as I didn’t want to get charged in response by the Elohi. The Stampede, assuming the right is in my control, heads off to pressure the center.

Basileans 3: On the left, the Phoenix waddles away to let the Foot Guard have a go at the Lycan Alpha. Meanwhile on the right, the Elohi swoop in and one round the Tribal Warriors (with a token), and the Knight troop gets in the way of the Lycan horde, poking some damage through in the process. Gnaeus finished off the Centaurs and prepares for next turn. Centrally, shooting clears off the rampaging Brutes and the OPG back up.

Herd 3: But they don’t back up far enough, thanks to the Great Chieftain’s WC aura. Tribal Warriors and Brutes charge the Palace Guard, with the Brutes wavering theirs thanks to bane chant (and kind of floppy dice). The Lycan horde on the right nukes the Knight troop in its way, with the Centaur Chief grounding the Elohi as the Stampede changes direction again and heads back to the right. Finally on the left, the Lycan Alpha withdraws and rears the orange Phoenix, keeping it disordered.

Basileans 4: The Basilean left slinks backward, with shooting largely whiffing against the Tribal Warrior horde. The Lycan Alpha is lightly pecked by the orange Phoenix and the Tribal Warriors downfield are wrecked by the functioning Palace Guard. On the right, the Elohi and Gnaeus assault the Stampede and only manage to waver it. Hell yea.

Herd 4: It’s officially on, dear readers. The surviving Brutes withdraw and charge the other Palace Guard, making space for the Tribal Warrior horde to plow into the mangled horde of ogres – they had to shed 1 booty token to go back to Sp 5 but worth. Both Palace Guard units are smashed. The Lycan Alpha continues grounding the orange Phoenix, as the Great Chieftain charges and shuts down the blue Phoenix. On the right, the Stampede bips some damage onto Gnaeus (only CS1 when disordered) but the Lycans rear charge the Elohi, decimating them (and taking my token back).

Basileans 5: The Sisterhood Scouts advance to block for the Foot Guard token caddies, but their shooting (and maybe the arbalests’, tho they had been cooling down over the course of the game) successfully wavers the Tribal Warrior horde. Gnaeus finishes off the Stampede and faces the Lycan horde. I’m sure the orange Phoenix slapped away at the Lycan Alpha.

Herd 5: The Brutes leapfrog the retreating Tribal Warrior horde, sadly unable to charge (I might have been able to turn the horde sideways and gotten the Brutes into the Sisters? But this would have offered a flank to the Foot Guard and given them a token, as well as gotten them closer to the central token) but picking up their token in the process, as I can see the writing on the wall. The Lycan Alpha continues disordering the regenerating Phoenix, with the Centaur Chief grounding the blue one this turn. The Lycan horde blends Gnaeus and the Great Chieftain heads off to kill some war engines.

Basileans 6: The Tribal Warrior horde is finally shot down. Phoenixes caw in distress.

Herd 6: The Brutes make contact with the Sisterhood Scouts, detonating them. The Great Chieftain flips over one Arbalest and both Phoenixes are disordered again. The Lycan Horde sails forward 10″ to be on the other side of the table.

Turn 7: We talk things over going into this extra round, and Chris is looking at a loss unless he can roll wildly and kill the Brutes in his turn. He can’t escape their charge with Sp 4 and we’re on his side of the table, so my 2 tokens count double compared to his 2. He goes for it but the Palace Guard don’t work any magic. My Brutes shatter his unit and scoop their tokens up, for a decisive …


This was a wild game that I didn’t feel particularly in charge of, thanks to his early shooting and the existence of Elohi 😛 I’m happy to have pulled it off, and I think Chris and I are now even in our matches? He might still be a win ahead with his damn Basileans.


Salamanders 2150

Rhinosaur Cavalry Horde – Healing Brew
Rhinosaur Cavalry Horde
Scorchwings Horde – Fire-Oil
Scorchwings Regiment
Kaisenor Lancers Regiment – Boots of Striding
Salamander Primes Regiment – War-Bow
Ghekkotah Hunters Regiment
Rakawas, The Pale Rider [1]
Artakl [1]
Ghekkotah Skylord on Scorchwing
Ghekkotah Skylord on Scorchwing
13 (24)

After a slow start, Eric had gradually pushed up the tables throughout the event, and would turn out to be an exceedingly nice dude (and my favorite opponent). Of the Salamander armies at the tournament, Eric’s was the one I was hearing the most about, in particular the bonkers numbers of shots it has. Obviously, charging into a wall of highly mobile shooting isn’t great for a Herd army but needs must!

The final round was Kill, modified so that units drop loot-esque tokens when they are killed. These tokens have no effect on movement in any way, however a unit must still have US to pick them up. You can hold friendly tokens and indeed should grab them, as the scenario was designed to punish shooting, as units killed at range drop their token into their footprint per usual. Ultimately I don’t like this scenario as it punishes individuals while benefiting US1 heroes, which the meta already does, and could be written to do the opposite but this is all academic. The Salamanders took first turn because shooting. This marks four games in a row where I went second not by choice.


Battlelines! Or rather Scouting Phase, as Artakl has scurried forward.

Turn 1: The Salamanders advance wearily and unleash a startling amount of shooting, with the 10 damage done to the right Brutes being the standout (5+ from the Komodons alone). The Hallow holds firm, then pushes up in response, with the leftmost Centaurs getting the party started by grounding the Scorchwing regiment. I’m a little at a loss for what to do overall but am hoping the Lycan Alpha can dive in from the left and help me open up that flank.

Salamanders 2: Which makes it an extra bummer when Eric 10+ wavers her! Shooting removes the right Brutes and continues hurting Tribal Warrior regiments. The Ghekko Hunters scamper into the right Centaurs and waver them, which is especially annoying when I realize I didn’t put the Lycan horde a full 1″ behind the Centaurs. Bleh.

Herd 2: I attempt to unjam the right by flanking the Hunters with hindered Tribal Warriors, but 24x 5+ / 3+ is too much of an ask and the Hunters are fine. The other Tribal Warriors charge Rakawas for a few damage and to block him up, as 300 points of Lycan mega-hammer picks up the Brutes’ kill token and waits. I think for a very long time about the left, and notice that if the Stampede helps those Centaurs out with the Scorchwing regiment, it can rotate after combat and disappear from the Rhinosaurs’ LOS, leaving only the milksop Lancers to take it on. It’s an easy kill and I go for it … and roll snake eyes. This disastrously gives said Rhinos the Stampede’s flank, and Eric the game. Ah well.

Salamanders 3: The Stampede is obliterated. The other Rhinosaurs flank and explode the Tribal Warriors who fluffed against the Hunters, as Rakawas nimbles around the other Tribal Warriors and helps the Hunters finish off those pesky Centaurs. Rakawas’ abandoned Tribal Warriors are cheerily wavered by the war-bow Primes (off a hill), and the Lycan horde does get shot a bit. Finally, Artakl jams the Tribal Warrior horde, doing token damage in the process.

Herd 3: I melt my clock and eventually realize I can charge Artakl with the Tribal Warriors horde, overrun 5″ into the central Rhinosaurs, and flip them over thanks to the Lycan Alpha in the flank. It’s not great odds (2/3 of a chance the overrun is no good!) but it’s what I got to open the left back up. I make a very real mistake and heal 1 damage off of the Tribal Warriors instead of bane chanting them (I didn’t realize Artakl is De 5+ and not 4+ but more importantly forgot I was aiming to fight the Rhinos, who definitely are De 5+ and I’ve got no TC behind the horde). I do next to no damage to Artakl on 3+ / 5+ yet I hot hand the Nv roll and rout the lizard twice, and I make the 5+ overrun, even if it’s hindered. The Rhinosaurs take 9 damage from the flanking Lycan Alpha, the Great Chieftain in the front, and the overrunning horde (match says 9-11, +2 if I hadn’t messed up bane chant), dread pushes this to 10 and I fail the break. Eric had offered to let me rewind and count the horde’s dice with bane chant on there but I couldn’t, that was well and truly my fault.

Elsewhere, the Lycan horde kills the Hunters (possibly because that was all I was offered, possibly because I didn’t fancy one rounding Rakawas) and turns to be out of Rakawas’ LOS but very much in the Rhinosaurs’. The Centaur Chief disorders the Scorchwing horde, and way over on the left the Centaurs finish off the Scorchwing regiment they had been fighting for 3 turns.

Salamanders 4: Lancers flank and kill the Lycan Alpha, Rhinosaurs (with Skylord in the flank) charge and kill the Lycan horde, Komodons light up the central Brutes a bit, and the Tribal Warrior horde survives the attention of the central Rhinosaurs. Eric hands me two snake eyes of my own this turn, with the blessed Centaur troop surviving against the left Skylord and the Centaur Chief bravely living to disorder the Scorchwing horde again.

Herd 4: The central Rhinosaurs are torn down by the Tribal Warriors and Brutes, as is the left Skylord by the Centaur troop. The Great Chieftain charges the Lancers to hold them down, and that lucky Centaur Chief disorders the Scorchwing horde again.

Salamanders 5: Rhinosaurs run down the central Brutes, the Lancers kill the Great Chieftain (!), and otherwise shooting pummels into the Tribal Warrior horde in the forest, pushing them well into the danger zone. Somebody shoots the Druid to death this turn.

Herd 5: The Lancers are mobbed and torn apart. I continue giving as many kill tokens as I can to the Centaurs, as I know the Tribal Warrior horde is not long for this world and I’m hoping I can get more than 1 point.

Salamander 6: The Tribal Warriors get properly Rhino’d, and the extreme range of the Salamander shooting drops the Centaurs at long last. Their 6! tokens drop in their footprint but even without a Turn 7 the Sallies have plenty of their own, making this a foregone …


Not gonna lie, having a tough match up fall apart so immediately thanks to a snake eyes is a bad feel, but let’s be real, I haven’t been properly boned by snakes in a long, long time. Combined we actually had 5 snake eyes this game, making it all feel very weird, however Eric was a pleasure and I appreciate how accommodating he was as my game disintegrated before it could begin. He would go on to win Best Sports.

Dead of Winter 2023 turned out to be a far more eventful run for me than expected, with a lot more time spent on the top tables than I would have thought my Herd deserved. Ultimately I placed like I always do (just above the halfway mark), which checks out with the big wins and big losses. Great games all the same, and I appreciate my clubmates who pulled the event together with next to no help from me 😅

I’m super behind on reports at this point, but up next I’ll blast through some 2300 practice games, from when my Herd were training for the Pilgrimage GT. Stay tuned!


Gentle readers! I’m sorry to keep you waiting for that sweet, sweet Dead of Winter GT report you were promised a month ago. With the Pilgrimage GT this weekend (!), I find I’m once again up against the wall on my writing duties and well behind on batreps. To that end, I’m going to do full day recaps for this event but hopefully maintain some of the gravitas of what turned out to be a much more successful run than I expected going in.

Dead of Winter was a two day, 2150 point event held here in Albany, NY from January 29-30, 2023, and put on by my very own club, The Shambling Horde. For the second year of this tournament, our club overlords set an added comp twist that no triplicates were allowed, including units of the same size. While you could take 2x Ogre Warrior regiments and 1x Ogre Warrior horde, you couldn’t take 3x Ogre Warrior regiments, for example. I’m not a huge fan of this restriction, as I don’t find triples of units to be bad, but I do think raising it to ban unit quadruplets is cool and good and curtails spam in a more meaningful way, especially when combined with 1995+X style points comp. Regardless, I did appreciate being forced into a little more variety than I would usually run, and was very happy where my list landed. Also note that we used Blackjack Scoring (aka best scoring).

Herd 2150

Lycan Horde – Brew of Strength
Guardian Brute Horde
Guardian Brute Horde
Minotaur Chariot Regiment – The Stampede [1]
Tribal Warrior Horde – Brew of Sharpness
Tribal Warrior Regiment
Tribal Warrior Regiment
Centaur Bray Striders Troop
Centaur Bray Striders Troop
Lycan Alpha
Great Chieftain – Horn of the Great Migration [1]
Centaur Chieftain
Druid – Bane Chant (2), Heal (2)
13 (24)

I’ve talked about the list in other reports but here it is one more time! The Horn did make it into the final list, as a cool piece of tech that gives a useful aura when you want to go fast and occasionally puts dread onto somebody who isn’t being punched by Brutes. The list is basically a bunch of hammers with friends that either get them where they want to be or take care of the scenario so the hammers can focus on smashing face.


Orcs 2150

Fight Wagons Legion – Brew of Strength
Greatax Horde – Orcish Skullpole, Boots of Striding
Youngax Horde – Orcish Skullpole
Gore Riders Regiment – Staying Stone
Morax Regiment – Orcish Skullpole
Morax Regiment – Orcish Skullpole
Morax Troop
Morax Troop
War Drum
War Drum
Troll Bruiser – Orb of Towering Presence
Morax Mansplitter – Gnome-Glass Shield
Krudger – Gakamak’s Bloody Banner [1]
Krusher on Gore – Blade of Slashing
14 (27)

That’s right, we’re kicking off the tournament with Skullface! He’s brought his personal battlewagon, as many Morax as the comp allowed, a Greatax horde to hold the line, Youngax to be cheap unit strength, and support staff aplenty. My Herd are very punchy, but would I be able to out punch this Orcish warmachine??

The first round is Invade – you may notice that the scenarios are designed to tell a story of our armies moving into enemy territory, taking their stuff, fighting their way out, etc. The Herd went first, probably by choice given that it’s invade.


Battlelines! I don’t have a strong plan for the Youngax and US2 Troll Bruiser pushing down the right flank, but I assign some Brutes to keep them occupied. On the whole, sending just the Brutes that way is a mistake, I should have used them to break the center harder and then spin to face the US6 worth of invaders late game. Spoilers.

Turn 1: The Hallow moves up, flexing its charge ranges across the board. The Orcs present a unified front across the line, with the exception of the Gore Riders jamming the Stampede on the left and the Krusher venturing out on the right. First blood goes to the Mansplitter, who picks up his ONE throwing axe then hits and wounds a Tribal Warrior. Game on.

Herd 2: I know from experience that the Greatax need to be killed in one shot, so Lycans and Brutes both pound into them. The Stampede should easily kill the Gore Riders, especially with a little nudge from the Centaur Chief, and the Tribal Warrior horde can very likely one round some Morax, then take the retaliation on the chin. The rest of the Orc line is held in place to buy time.

After a flurry of dice, the Greatax are indeed dismembered, but the Gore Riders hold on snake eyes and the Morax regiment takes 14 damage and may have snaked as well. I try my best to shake it off but the momentum is already slipping.

Orcs 2: Thrilled to be fighting already, the Orcs counter-charge across the line, with both Morax regiments hitting the Tribal Warrior horde. A War Drum blocks the Lycan horde as Orc individuals lend their axes to the fights. The saddest note, however, was the Gore Riders charging the Centaur Chief and overrunning into the Stampede. I hate when I do this 😦

Thankfully it’s all up from there, with the Tribal Warriors holding on 13 damage and the units keeping the Morax troops back only wavering. The Centaurs thrown into the Fight Wagon legion do indeed die tho. RIP to those heroes.

Herd 3: The Hallow plunges its sharpened wooden appendage deeper into the Orcs this turn, as Brutes flank Morax on the left and Tribal Warriors flank more Morax on the right, with a lot of counter-charging happening elsewhere. In a bit of a throwaway move, the Great Chieftain charges the Krudger with the bloody banner, but amazingly he one-rounds him! This removes the inspiring from the left flank, leading to the death of the Gore Riders and War Drum. All the Morax except for the troop with Centaurs in their face are torn apart as well.

You can see I don’t know what to do about the right flank. The Brutes once again deign to charge, not trusting that they can one round the horde or the troll, but knowing they’ll die in return, thanks to either unit getting a flank (and no inspiring to be had!)

Orcs 3: The Fight Wagon careens into the Lycan horde lurking in the pond, crushing it despite the negative to hit. It turns to face the Stampede, letting the Brutes have its flank. The surviving Morax blend the Centaurs at last and prepare to die. On the right, the Youngax take the hindered charge into the stranded Brutes, with Troll Bruiser in the front and Krusher in the back. The green hammer wavers but holds.

Herd 4: The Fight Wagon is dismantled by the Stampede and Brutes on the left, and on the right the other Brutes counter-charge the Troll Bruiser and manage to one round him through weight of dice. In the center, the Tribal Warrior horde chooses to counter-charge the Mansplitter rather than dropping the War Drum (??), but at least they kill the punchy hero. This leaves a Tribal Warrior regiment and Lycan Alpha to deal with the wounded Morax – a shocking 2 damage later and the troop of blenders is totally fine. Yikes.

Orcs 4: Those Morax counter-charge and blend the Tribal Warrior regiment (and their US3), while the Krusher and Youngax finish off the right Brutes. The War Drum tries to clean up the mangled Tribal Warrior horde but can’t land a hit.

Turn 5: The Tribal Warrior horde shreds the War Drum and the Lycan Alpha savages the Morax troop. For the Orcs, the Youngax face their oppressors and the Krusher either launches himself into the Tribal Warriors horde, fails to hit, and is killed next turn, or readies himself this turn and has a go in Turn 6. Regardless, this is a resounding …


What a smashfest! Slugging it out with Skullface is always a pleasure, and this match was probably destined to come down to whoever hit first and hardest. Snake eyes notwithstanding.


Sylvan Kin 2150

Forest Shamblers Horde
Sylvan Gladestalkers Regiment
Sylvan Gladestalkers Regiment
Silverbreeze Cavalry Regiment
Silverbreeze Cavalry Regiment
Hunters of the Wild Regiment
Hunters of the Wild Regiment
Greater Air Elemental
Greater Air Elemental
Tree Herder – Wiltfather [1]; Surge (8)
Nimue Waydancer [1] – Fireball (10), Wind Blast (5), Heal (4), Surge (4)
Elven Archmage – Inspiring Talisman; Surge (8), Bane Chant (2)
12 (22)

After dunking Orcs, I’m catapulted to Table 2 to face off against Sylvan Kin and my first two Greater Air Elementals. This also may be the first time I’ve ever faced Sylvan Kin? Thankfully no matter what happens, Darek is exceedingly nice and has a very pretty Warhammer army that is satisfyingly FMC.

The second round is Plunder (2 point tokens in green, 1 pointers in black). Sylvan Kin take the first turn, because shooting.


Battlelines! Scouting phase! The Sylvan Kin inch forward, mostly just putting Gladestalkers into range.

Turn 1: The Sylvan Kin deign to move much, knowing I’m headed to them. Some Tribal Warriors cop 3 damage from arrows. In return, the Hallow punches it forward, grabbing a 1 point token on the left and 2 pointer on the right. I’m a little freaked out by the Greater Air Elementals but I give them obvious charges as bait and prepare some redundancy if they get squirrely.

Sylvan Kin 2: Let’s just start with the boogeymen. The left Greater Air hops the wood and is surged 5″ into the Lycan Alpha by the Archmage, bopping her for 6 damage and wavering the beast. Nice! The right Greater Air plows directly into the 2 token Tribal Warrior regiment, doing them 6 damage (5 + Nimue’s cloak of death). Also on the right, Silverbreeze decide to charge the Lycan Horde, doing a respectable 7 damage (6 + cloak). Before all this happened, shooting drops the Centaurs with the loot and puts 2 damage on the Stampede. Not so bad.

Herd 2: Limited by my huge base size, I end up punching the Stampede and Tribal Warrior horde into the left Hunters of the Wild regiment, shattering it and splitting the Sylvan Kin line. The left Greater Air holds from a Tribal Warrior flank (who grab a token in the process), while the right GAE is disintegrated by Brutes (and the 2 token Tribal Warriors). The right Silverbreeze take 10 damage from the Lycan horde, but sadly hold tight. Brutes in the center prepare to deal with the Forest Shamblers, who are chaffed up with Centaurs.

Sylvan Kin 3: Battle is joined across the board!

The Lycan Alpha is driven off thanks to a Silverbreeze flank and a distressing number of waver tokens are handed out – the Tribal Warrior horde, Lycan Horde and right Brutes all waver under a storm of very good Kin rolling.

Herd 3: The Hallow retaliates in kind. Plucky Tribal Warrior regiments remove the Greater Air on the left and the Silverbreeze on the right, while Brutes thunder down the center and rout the Forest Shamblers in one go, and the Stampede rolls out of its mind and one-rounds the Gladestalkers who bloodied it last turn. A sad trombone can be heard in the distance, however, when the other Brutes fail to dunk the Hunters of the Wild scrabbling at them.

Sylvan Kin 4: The Tribal Warrior horde is smashed down by the Wiltfather (and Gladestalkers), as the mangled Brutes on the right are routed by the Hunters of the Wild. Darek spends some time thinking about the Tribal Warriors vs Silverbreeze situation in the bottom left and decides to trust in his shooting dice. This pays off as the Tribal Warriors (with token) are wavered! The right Tribal Warriors (with 2 point token) are also wavered this turn, thanks to Nimue’s fireball.

Herd 4: The Stampede revs up and one-rounds its second regiment of Gladestalkers (!), and the Hunters of the Wild on the right are blended by the Lycan horde. In the center, the Brutes swing into the Wiltfather for 7 damage, after a failed bane chant. Fighting Wiltdad is a marathon not a race, ok? Nimue is also charged and disordered by the Centaur Chief.

Sylvan Kin 5: The Silverbreeze gallop up from the bottom left to rear charge the Stampede, wavering it on 15 damage! The Wiltfather does a perfect 11 damage to the Brutes (10 + cloak)! Nimue tries to drive off the Tribal Warriors on the right but can’t land a wound (but does land her cloak)!

Herd 5: The Brutes drop the Wiltfather, moments before the Stampede turns and slams 7 damage into the Silverbreeze, I believe wavering them. Nimue is sandwiched between Tribal Warriors and Centaur Chief but survives. The Lycan horde grabs a 1 point token and Centaurs scoop up the 2 pointer in the center, with left Tribal Warriors headed for the final token.

Turn 6: Nimue swings at the token-laden Tribal Warriors on the right once again, damaging them this time but rolling snake eyes for the break (13 damage total)! Nimue survives the retaliation, but the Silverbreeze get Stampeded. I grab all the tokens and prepare the Lycan to scoop up the Tribal Warriors’ if Nimue goes ham on them in Turn 7, but the game ends here with a very decisive …


What a game! I was certainly helped by Darek committing his Greater Airs early and in places I could easily respond to them, but then his dice rolls with low to no crushing/piercing attaks pulled him out time and again. Lots of back and forth kept the game more interesting than I thought it would be vs shooting and GAEs.


Forces of Nature 2150

Fire Elementals Horde – Brew of Sharpness
Scorchwings Horde – Brew of Haste
Earth Elementals Horde
Earth Elementals Horde
Water Elementals Regiment
Water Elementals Regiment
Greater Air Elemental
Greater Air Elemental
Tree Herder – Surge (8)
Gladewalker Druid – Crown of the Wizard King, Ring of Harmony; Surge (8), Heal (4)
Druid – Conjurer’s Staff; Surge (4), Bane Chant (2), Heal (2)
12 (20)

I’ve only played Corey three times, between him running Crossroads GT and living on the top tables at most events – so here we are at Table 1 😅 I had heard he was printing / painting a new army this winter, and obviously I should have expected Nature. Lots of great sculpts, bright colors, and a powerful toolbox of units. This is a scary list, tho also more tuned than the stereotypical Nature list using the formation (of which there was one at this GT). The anviliest of anvils, an ultra hammer, a Sp 11 hyper flexible flying scoring shooting killing unit, and amazing thicc chaff join the pure value of two GAEs, a Tree Herder, Ringwalker, and budget Druid. Lots to love.

The third round is Salt the Earth, except we mess it up and don’t deploy a central objective. We agree to have the center two objectives be un-burnable. Nature chooses to go first.


Battlelines! It’s worth noting that Corey chose to take the side he’s on. That giant house on the left would indeed prove to be really hard to work with.

Turn 1: Nature sallies forth, offering the Hallow nothing. The Scorchwings spike off the right Centuars with a lucky opening salvo, then burn their objective. In response, I melt my clock trying to overthink the right Greater Air’s landing places, eventually shoving the Lycan up hard and challenging him to have a go.

Nature 2: I was so concerned about surge that I missed that the right GAE could just straight charge the Lycan Alpha. Sigh. She takes 7 damage and wavers. The Scorchwings abandon the flank while the other GAE hops behind the giant building (OH NO) and the Pegasis continues lurking back there too.

Herd 2: We hammer the Tribal Warrior horde and Brutes into the right Earth Elementals, cracking them and facing as much to the left as possible. The Lycan horde tackles the right Water Elementals over a wall but can’t finish the job. In less decisive moves, nobody can sit the Greater Air in the my lines down, but Centaurs and Tribal Warriors face it anyway. I can’t figure out how to stop the left GAE either – it’s going to hop the building and flank my Stampede. Should I have just suicided the Stampede into the left Water Elementals so it at least does something? Let’s find out together.

Nature 3: The Fire Elementals charge the Tribal Warrior horde, with the Tree Herder hanging back to help surge the right GAE into the rear of the Lycan Horde, which works a treat. Water Elementals hit them in the front for good measure. The left GAE is surged into the flank of the Stampede. Water Elementals hit them in the front for good measure. The Pegasus blocks the left Brutes … and then everybody dies. Including the Tribal Warriors, which was *checks the numbers* a mathematical oddity to be sure. The Scorchwings light the right Brutes up for 4 damage because can.

Herd 3: Things are collapsing a little faster than expected, but there’s always vengeance, m’right? The right Brutes launch off the hill into the Tree Herder, one rounding the big tree despite bane chant failing at the worst time. The other Brutes splatter the Pegasus that was giving to them. I’m allowed to touch the Greater Airs, so the Tribal Warriors on the left do 6 to theirs and the Lycan Alpha does 3 to the right one.

Nature 4: Fire and Rocks crash into the left Brutes as Scorchwings and Water descend on the right Brutes. They both die. The Tribal Warriors on the left are ended by Greater Air in the front and Water surged into their flank, and the Lycan Alpha is straight clubbed to death by one hindered Greater Air. At this point I am strongly considering giving her the Wingbane Cloak 😛

Herd 4: The Tribal Warriors try and fail to kill the right Greater Air, as the Centaurs try and fail to kill the Water Elementals (who are well regenerated at this point). If you squint, you can see the Great Chieftain charge the left Greater Air out of spite. Well, that plucky mushroom man with a spear kills the bastard, pushed over by dread 😀

Nature 5: Nature’s fury is vented on the rears of the Hallow’s last remaining scoring units. They die.

Herd 5: The Great Chieftain trips over the fence and doesn’t do much to some Water Elementals but the Centaur Chief kills the other Greater Air. Get some!

Turn 6: Corey grabs five objectives and the Scorchwings whiff on the Centaur hero, who goes on to kick the Druid as spitefully as possible. My Great Chieftain keeps stabbing some Water Elementals but really whatever. There’s no Turn 6, making this a staggering …


I was hoping for a few more points, but you know, I’ll take that one point in a maybe-worst Herd into maybe-best Nature match. Corey is an absolute machine who didn’t move from the top two tables. One of these days, Reynolds!

Walking away with 42 of 63 points at the end of Day One was quite the achievement for me. I celebrated by having a couple drinks with my dog, somehow getting some sleep, then racking up for Day Two.


The final match of Crossroads 2022 sees Cuddle Time rocketing up from the bottom tables to face The Other Canadian Team. Will the Cuddlers be able to finish strong and continue climbing the rankings, or will they find themselves consigned to the snuggle zone for another year?


  • Northern Alliance
  • Trident Realm
  • Free Dwarfs
  • Forces of Nature

Operating according to the plan, I put our Ogres into Trident Realm for the second time that day (SORRY DREW), gave our Ratkin the Forces of Nature and their air elementals (SORRY HUGGINS), the Riftforged faced Northern Alliance in a smashfest, and I ended up facing the Free Dwarfs.

Free Dwarfs 2300
Free Dwarf Rangers Regiment
Free Dwarf Rangers Regiment
*Free Dwarf Shieldbreakers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
*Free Dwarf Shieldbreakers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
*Free Dwarf Shieldbreakers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Ironclad Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Ironclad Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Ironclad Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Dwarf Lord on Large Beast – Blade of Slashing
Dwarf Lord on Large Beast – Mace of Crushing
*Free Dwarf Lord – Wings of Honeymaze, Lord’s Jewel [1]
Herneas the Hunter [1]
Free Dwarf Stone Priest – Bane Chant (2), Alchemist Curse [1] (3)
Dwarf Army Standard Bearer – Lute of Insatiable Darkness

Have I really never reported a Free Dwarfs game?? Is it possible I’ve never faced them??? Regardless, I have faced off against everything but the formation before (it gives the flying Lord scout and brutal, and the Shieldbreakers get nimble and brutal and must purchase scout), so it’s not entirely unknown. I appreciate how high drop and regiment heavy his list is, plus it’s all FMC which makes all those bodies standout. The dude himself was relatively new to Kings – this was his first tournament away from his home town events (Hamilton, ON I believe) – and super nice.

We played Control, which I played 3 out of 4 games, often by choice. I wouldn’t have told you this was the go to for my list, but it makes sense, with how relatively little movement is involved and how much effect 23″ scoot-n-shoot units can have from the central sections. He scouted and then went first, in one of the only instances where I would have taken it 😉


Battlelines! Also scouting phase!
Scouting flying heroes are really cool, cause if you get first turn you can … Oh no.

Free Dwarfs 1: The Dwarfs advance their non-scouting elements, including the dogs taking their place on the right. The real power move is obviously the Lord flying into the central Heartpiercers, booping them for 3 damage but more importantly a) turning off their shooting and b) trapping the other Heartpiercer unit behind them, which needed to move up to get into range and looks to be base to base with the booped unit. Ugh. The Coral Giant takes 2 damage from Herneas’ enormous crossbow and I think the Rangers back in the field.

Trident 1: The crabs are in no rush on the flanks, with the Kraken mostly rotating to menace some flanks in coming turns and/or project threat. Speaking of menace, the Coral Giant grimly rotates to help deal with the damn flying Lord next turn, which is easier thanks the trident Centurion landing 2 damage and grounding him. The two Heartpiercer units that can fire slam a respectable 5 damage into the first Ironclad regiment marching down the center of the board.

Free Dwarfs 2: The Lord stomps over to another Heartpiercer unit and bashes it for 2 damage, turning off its shooting and once again trapping that Heartpiercer unit behind it. Dammit. Herneas, the Rangers and the damaged Ironclad’s mastiff put the Coral Giant on 6 damage. Otherwise the Dwarfs continue to push the middle while redressing the right flank as my Sp 7+ threats scuttle closer.

Trident 2: I fight the urge to dive those Ironclad with the Coral Giant, instead sticking to the plan and charging the Dwarf Lord (with Hearpiercers counter-charging). Frustratingly the Lord only wavers on 10 damage, costing me another turn dealing with him. Available shooting shoves those Ironclad to 10 damage but they too refuse to break (or waver even). I’m content to waffle on the right flank as well while I figure out the center.

Free Dwarfs 3: The Dwarf battleline fully reforms as the Rangers step into place. Alchemist Curse from the Iron Priest, Herneas’ ballista, another Ironclad mastiff and possibly some Ranger shots put 8 damage on the left Kraken, which converts to a lucky 9-10 waver. Shooting is less effective against the right Kraken, where both Mastiff pack’s throwing mastiffs do 3ish damage.

Trident 3: Tired of waiting, I let rip on the right, sending the Water Elementals into the Ironclads in the woods and threading the Kraken into some Shieldbreakers. The brutal Centurion charges a Mastiff pack to hold it in place. While none of these combats break (Ironclads hold on 6, Shiledbreakers waver, Mastiffs hold on 3) I’m hopefully well positioned to grind for a couple turns. In the center, the Coral Giant finishes pounding the Dwarf Lord into the mud, and Heartpiercers see the damaged Ironclad off. The trident Centurion has a go at the left Dwarf Lord on Large Beast but De 6+ is too stronk.

Now we’re playing Kings!

Free Dwarfs 4: A lot of time goes into unpacking his options on the right, and we conclude that a) the Kraken cannot in fact be flanked by anything and b) the Kraken can’t corkscrew the Ironclad if the Shieldbreakers stay in its face. So: Rangers and Ironclad combo the Water Elementals (for 6 damage), and the brutal Centurion either takes 3 damage from the counter-charging Mastiffs or from two thrown mastiffs. If it was the former, then the mastiffs were probably tossed at the Kraken or the Placoderms but failed to do a wound. In the center, the Coral Giant holds his ground against the Free Dwarf shooting, sitting tight at 11 damage.

Trident 4: The sound of hungrily clacking claws can be heard as very large crabs plow into the Dwarfs. In the center, a Kraken rampages into some Ironclad as the Coral Giant smashes into their flank, while the trident Centurion holds off the DLOLB over there. On the right, the Water Elementals aim to finish off the other Ironclad and the Kraken prepares to brutalize the Shieldbreakers it had already softened up. The brutal Centurion meanwhile continues petting some dogs, brutally.

All four Heartpiercer regiments are finally allowed to shoot, and the rain of barbs puts 7 damage on the central Rangers and 1 on the regiment in the woods. In combat, all the Dwarf units rout, including the Mastiffs. The Water Elementals sidestep (CRAB. WALK.) to stay in front of the wood Rangers and the brutal Centurion overruns to try to help the right Kraken out, who is in quite a predicament with fighty Dwarfs to either flank. I end up overrunning with the big guy, which puts only a DLOLB in his flank and not Shieldbreakers as well. The slayer Centurion puts 1 damage on his DLOLB.

Free Dwarfs 5: With just a handful of minutes left on the clock, the Dwarfs swing for the fences. Both Dwarf Lords on Large Beasts charge Kraken, ensnared in the front on the left and happily in the flank on the right. Shieldbreakers double charge the brutal Centurion (one ensnared to the front, one clear in the flank and hoping for an overrun into the right Kraken’s other flank). And the Rangers in the wood take on the Water Elementals again (sitting on 6 damage), with the help of bane chant.

Dwarfs on Large Beasts vs Titanic Crabs

Herneas and his Rangers topple the Coral Giant with shooting, shortly before the rest of the Rangers hew down the Water Elemental horde. The Shieldbreakers only manage to waver the brutal Centurion, denying them their overrun into the right Kraken, which would certainly have helped as the right DLOLB only lands 3 damage out of 14 attaks on 3s and 2s. The DLOLB in the center does 2 damage to his Kraken. With that, the Free Dwarfs clock out.

Trident 5: With less than 5 minutes left, I send Heartpiercers into the bottom left section, claim the bottom right with Placoderms (I don’t bother swinging on the Mastiff pack in their face), and shoot the central Rangers off from the safety of the bottom center. The Kraken swing on the Large Beasts to little effect, but the US 1 of the central Kraken contests the DLOLB, meaning the Dwarfs only score the upper right with all three of their remaining regiments. At a score of 3 to 1, that’s a resounding …


It occurs to me that I might have charged the Dwarf ASB with my Kraken in the upper right, with an overrun that might have shot that Kraken into the upper center section, claiming it … but whatever, I was keeping it simple on account of time, burn out and already winning. My opponent was a pleasure to play and sounds like he learned some stuff from our game, which is always nice to hear. Hoping to see him at King Beyond the Wall next year, after missing it the last couple times.

Cuddle Time did well this round, I think winning 2-3 of our games. With a very solid Day 2 and a decent paint score, we actually ended up finishing 11th out of 20 teams! Which I’ll take any day. We also did quite well on Sports, I think getting second most sportsing? Awesome.

Ain’t kidding about that cuddling!

Big thanks to my fellow Cuddlers for another year of being cool and enjoying our race to the bottom. I’m especially proud that everybody but me painted brand new armies for the event! A fact I didn’t piece together until just now.

And thank you for reading! Hopefully I’ll be back soon with some reflection on playing Trident Realm for an entire tournament season, it’s certainly been an adventure but I could really use a break 🦀


After a late night of playing Kill Team, watching board games, talking about Warmachine 4E and obligatory drinking, I passed out only to rise far too soon 😩 It’s Day 2 and time to slam into the bottom tables, Cuddle Time style.


  • Order of the Green Lady
  • Trident Realm
  • Empire of Dust
  • Undead

BDO was made up of two dudes whose team fell apart plus two of my clubmates (the Empire of Dust and the Undead (yes that’s Jeff from all my scrumming beforehand)). True to my captaining plans, I matched our Ogres into Trident Realm, Riftforged into Empire of Dust, Ratkin into Undead, and took the Order of the Green Lady for myself.

Brotherhood: Order of the Green Lady 2300
Order of the Forsaken Horde – Boots of Striding
Earth Elementals Horde
Earth Elementals Horde
Order of Redemption Regiment – Brew of Strength
Order of Redemption Regiment – Mead of Madness
Order of the Brotherhood – Banner of the Green Lady [1]
Naiad Ensnarers Regiment
Centaur Bray Hunters Troop
Centaur Bray Hunters Troop
Exemplar Redeemer – Blade of the Beast Slayer
Druid – Shroud of the Saint, Heal (2(4)), Bane Chant (2), Surge (4)
Devoted – Heal (3), Surge (7)

Bryant was super excited to play me, as we’d either always narrowly avoided each other or played once back in 2E or even Fantasy times. I’m a fan of his army, great Bretonnian feel and a faction I very rarely face. The list itself seemed legit? If hamstrung by cavalry’s middling place in this edition.

We played Pillage (or maybe Salt the Earth without any salting), with the Brotherhood going first one way or another.



Green Lady 1: The Order canters forward, with caution on the wings and a trudging wall of rock in the center.

Trident 1: Crabs respond with a generalized scuttling. I’m content to make his life hell on the left flank, as he’s put a ton of points over there when the only token is the one on his side. Heartpiercers punch 2 damage onto the Centaur troop hanging out on the upper right token.

Bun Bun, Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, prepares to sate her hunger for crab flesh.

Green Lady 2: Indecision racks the Order’s lines, ultimately seeing the right advance a bit, the center widen its coverage, and the left mobilize Centaur chaff while preparing to thunder into combat next turn.

Trident 2: Placoderms advance on the right, being a terrible charge target for the cavalry over there, as I try to swap the Coral Giant and Water Elementals without touching the forest. Heartpiercers back up and put 6 damage on the strength Redemption reg on the right and 1 on the annoying Centaurs on the left. The slayer-trident Centurion fires at the Forsaken horde and fails to get a single damage, leaving them free to fly. What a champ. The Kraken don’t take the bait, letting the Order deal with their own chaff.

Bunny Pegasus with the #promove block.

Green Lady 3: While the right side of the Order line faffs around – and heals all the damage on the Redemption cav! – the left goes hard. Redemption knights (hindered) and Forsaken horde (striding boots) slam into the Kraken in the woods, ensnare be damned, as the Pegasus charges the other Kraken to block him up. Despite taking 11 damage, the multi-charged Kraken only wavers. And the Peg does a tight 3 damage from 3 attaks, nice.

Trident 3: The right arm of the crab war machine grudgingly pumps Heartpiercer rounds into the strength Redemption (2 damage, which I know will vanish), presents terrible Placoderm charges and unjams the Coral Giant / Water Elemental situation. We’re both still avoiding the LOS blocking void that is that forest.

Over on the left, the wavered Kraken skitters 4.5″ backwards and regenerates down to 3 damage (hahaha I love it). The other Kraken bops the Pegabun for 6 damage but flubs the rout (might have wavered her). Heartpiercers and trident Centurion combine fire into the Forsaken, doing a bunch of damage and wavering them. I’ll take it.

Kraken getting pumped to power lift a second time.

Green Lady 4: The Order pushes the center at last, with the strength Redemption finally giving up the right flank and skirting the woods to reinforce the middle. On the left, the mead Redemption charge back into the Kraken they’ve been hunting, with the support of the Forsaken again … which was illegal, as he forgot they were wavered and when we remembered during my turn, he rolled their headstrong test and failed it. The Kraken held solid on 10 damage (hindered and ensnared is rough), so vaguely a moot point, but Bryant tore himself up about it all game.

Trident 4: The whole Forsaken issue is cleared up when Bun Bun’s Kraken corkscrews their flank and smashes them into man/horse/bird parts. Heartpiercers from the center punch across and kill Bun Bun, while the trident Centurion strips the TC from the Brotherhood knights. The other Kraken counter-charges the mead Redemption, slapping 5 damage into them, but ominously only regening down to 8 damage himself.

Elsewhere, Placoderm invite the Order to have a go in the center, the Coral Giant breaks the wood line to become a Problem next turn, and the Water Elementals attempt to punch through the Exemplar Redeemer and into the flank of the strength Redemption. It’s a tall ask, so of course the gigantic crab/horde does next to no damage 😀

And finally, the Heartpiercers on the right skewer the Ensnarers that had dared to come into view around the house.

The sweet, sweet overrun that was not to be.

Green Lady 5: With about 10 minutes left on their clock, the Order lets rip. Mead Redemption and pathfinder Brotherhood knights on the left crash into a Kraken each, thunderous be damned. Both Earth Elemental hordes bash into the waiting claws of the Placoderms (one hindered), and the Redeemer counter-charges the Water Elementals.

It took three charges, but the Order of the Redemption finally drop the titanic crab beast they’d spent the game dueling. The other Kraken lucky wavers on 7 damage (box cars!), however that luck doesn’t hold for the Earth Elementals, which do a paltry 6 damage to the central Placoderms. The Redeemer carves 3 into the Water Elementals.

Trident 5: Vengeance is swift as the Water Elementals batter down the Redeemer, even if regrettably missing the ~4″ overrun into the strength Redemption regiment behind. No other combat is as decisive, with the Coral Giant tearing chunks out of one Earth Elemental horde, the Placoderms poking the other, and the central Heartpiercers and trident Centurion pushing the mead Redemption up to 10 damage but only finding a waver.

Green Lady 6: The last 4 minutes of the Order of the Green Lady’s clock is largely spent frantically rolling combat dice. (The mead Redemption reg failed their headstrong, though the strength Redemption hit the Water Elementals with Centaurs in the flank.)

The Water Elementals are triumphantly torn down, but that signals the last of the Order’s momentum. The Brotherhood knights waver their Kraken again and Earth Elementals waver the Placoderms and apparently do nothing at all against the Coral Giant (he may have clocked out before rolling it).

Trident 6: Heartpiercers shoot off the mead Order of the Retribution, the Coral Giant dunks his Earth Elemental horde, and the Heartpiercers on the right I believe tried and failed to remove the Centaur troop they started the game shooting at. With no Turn 7 and 3 objectives to 2, this is a decisive …


All told a very fun match against an enthusiastic player. Bryant was really down about his play not being clean that morning – the waver token, undoing moves without marking corners, etc – and despite me assuring him it was cool he felt pretty bad. Regardless, I hope to face him again some time in a non-team event.

Speaking of teams, Cuddle Time did very well this round, scoring the maximum 60 points or just shy of it. With this hearty bounce buoying our spirits we headed into the final match-ups.

UP NEXT: Eager Beavers!


The final round of the first day of the Crossroads GT sees Cuddle Time up against the other Western NY team. While I’m excited to play another match, I’m also totally happy with this being my last of the day, after working my other-other job the night before. Onto the carnage.


  • Forces of the Abyss
  • Goblins
  • Undead
  • Ogres

I put our elite Ratkin into trash-n-hammers Goblins, Riftforged into Abyss, Ogres into Ogres and faced the Undead myself. Partially because I’ve been fighting them all the time but also because check out his list:

Undead 2300
*Zombies Legion
*Zombies Legion
Zombies Regiment
Zombies Regiment
Soul Reaver Infantry Troop
Soul Reaver Infantry Troop
Soul Reaver Infantry Troop
Soul Reaver Infantry Troop
Soul Reaver Infantry Troop
Revenant Cavalry Troop
Ghouls Troop
Ghouls Troop
Ghouls Troop
Ghouls Troop
Vampire Lord – Surge (4)?
Ghoul Ghast – Aura (TC: Cannibal)
Necromancer – Inspiring Talisman, Aura (Vicious(Me): Zombie), Surge (6), Bane Chant (2)?
*The Shambling Blight Formation

I love it so much. Troop spam Undead is not a thing I thought I’d see, yet here it is, in all its pre-Soul Reaver nerf majesty. I’m almost positive I don’t have enough shooting to survive this – especially with the legions in there as well – but I’m excited to cause a mess at least. (I’m not 100% on the last 30 points of his list, so I’m guessing he took those spells, because I would.)

We played Control (second time for me!), and he’s a smart player so had me go first 😦


Battlelines! That central hill being a clutch 20th unit for the Undead.

Trident 1: The crabs scuttle forward, which may or may not have been a good idea since I know what the Undead are aiming to do to my poor crustaceans. If there’s a dim silver lining to the Zombie legions, my Water Elemental horde has sharpness and not strength entirely because De 2+ Zombies exist. So, um, no pressure on your upcoming lift, big guy.

Undead 1: Here they come! The living dead match the crab lines. Those Zombies in the upper left did remember to shamble forward eventually. Also the Necromancer is hiding behind that building in the upper right, as a horrible old crone animating corpses does.

Trident 2: I redress my lines a bit to accept the Undead’s imminent hugs, toss bastion on the central Placoderms, and fire all Heartpiercers available into the Rev Cav troop. Thankfully they crumble under the barrage – Rev Cav are notoriously hard for me to kill and I knew they’d drive me crazy if they survived. And that’s it.

Let the all you-can-blend crab buffet begin!

Undead 2: Ghouls and vampires charge up and over the central hill, crashing into the crabby lines. Ghouls and Ghast into the left Kraken, Ghouls into the brutal Centurion, double Ghouls into the central Kraken, and Soul Reavers into the bastioned Placoderms. The next wave of Soul Reavers prepare to clean up the mess once the Ghouls are dispatched, as the Zombies hove ever closer on the right.

The crabs stand firm, despite the damages: left Kraken to 6, brutal Centurion to 3, central Kraken to ?, Placoderms to 7. Time to clap back.

Trident 3: The Kraken both counter-charge and devour Ghoul troops, the brutal Centurion drives his Ghouls away, and the (bastion-less, thanks to the Envoy needing to run) Placoderms decide to hindered corkscrew the other Ghouls harassing the central Kraken instead of countering their Soul Reavers. The math is way better that they’ll actually do any damage, plus it means the Soul Reavers can be shot. As it turns out, the Placoderms do ZERO damage to the Ghouls, but Heartpiercers do stick 5 into the Soul Reavers. Other shooting grudgingly puts 1 point of damage on both Zombie legions, simply for lack of targets.

In more daring news, I decide after a long while to send the Water Elementals with Placoderm ‘support’ into the central Zombie regiment, as the overrun escapes the Zombie legion’s arc and I’ve basically decided I shouldn’t even start putting damage on the legions, as I don’t have the assets to seal either of those deals. The Zombie regiment does evaporate and my units do escape the Zombie’s arc … but come on dude, surge is totally a thing 😐 Also I shove some Heartpiercers in front of the right Zombie legion in the interest of buying time.

Undead 3: All five Soul Reaver Infantry troops make contact with their quarries: brutal Centurion, central Kraken, damaged Placoderm flank (with Ghouls in the front), other Placoderms, and Water Elemental. The Vampire Lord also skips over to the scuttlin’ Envoy, who has done nothing wrong ever. A Zombie legion (hindered) and the Goreblight lurch into the rightmost Heartpiercers as well, and, after a brief pause …

One Surge Later.

… the other Zombie legion rear charges the Water Elementals (hindered). Oh, and the Ghast charges back into the left Kraken.

After all the blending, everybody but the ensnaring dudes on the left are shredded and/or messily devoured. But sadly those same dudes – brutal Centurion and central Kraken – are both wavered (6 and 5 damage respectively). Losing fresh Placoderms to a Soul Reaver troop is pretty surprising, however having your inspiring source decapitated makes that a little more likely.

Trident 4: Things are getting squirrely with so many Undead threats still on the table and my momentum slipping away, but the crabs take what they can. Heartpiercers finish off the wounded Soul Reaver infantry, while spacing out for the inevitable Zombie legions baring down on them. The Coral Giant wakes from his slumber to pound the last of the Ghoul troops into jelly, and the left Kraken flanks some Soul Reavers only to waver them. I’ll take it. Also I regen a bunch.

Undead 4: Maybe I poorly measured the 10″ needed or maybe IDAGF at this point, but two Heartpiercers are flanked by Zombie legions (hindered) and the Goreblight (hindered) – honestly a surge may have been involved in one case, hard to tell. In vampiric news, the Vampire Lord somersaults into the trident Centurion in the pond as Soul Reavers power into the central Kraken and the Coral Giant. The Ghast also continues to be a pest, flanking the left Kraken for 1 damage (up to 3).

Inset: Crabs In Predicaments

RIP the central Kraken, killed before his time (the Soul Reavers back up). The Coral Giant however just takes it on the chin, going up to 6 damage. The trident Centurion successfully parries the Vampire Lord’s flurry of blows, taking 6 damage and holding. Of his Heartpiercer charges, one is mauled by the Goreblight and 60 friends, while the other takes only 2 damage and survives a Zombie legion flank.

Trident 5: The crabs break open a new box of stakes and prepare to slay some more vampires. Kraken re-flanks Soul Reavers with the brutal Centurion in the front, while the Coral Giant counter-charges his Soul Reavers with some commando Hearpiercers flanking them (hindered). The trident Centurion backs up, regenerating and daring the Vampire Lord to have another go, and the last of the functional Heartpiercers attempt to snipe out the Necromancer (but flub it with 1 damage).

Both combats go well, seeing two more Soul Reaver troops turned to ash.

Undead 5: The Goreblight wavers the swamp Heartpiercers (2 damage), the Vampire Lord wavers the trident Centurion (7 damage), and that damn Ghast wavers the Coral Giant (8 damage)! Those last Soul Reavers on the left rear charge the other Heartpiercers, turning them into mist. A Zombie legion balanced on a wall was in their front as well but whatever.

As this is a game of control, you can see the Zombies upper left and bottom right holding to their zones. Likewise the upper right Soul Reavers.

Trident 6: The remaining Kraken and brutal Centurion front charge the central Soul Reavers, slapping them around until their broke. Nice. The Centurion overruns to protect the Coral Giant (I don’t understand why the big guy didn’t turn to face the Zombies, maybe he did and I didn’t turn the model? Weird flex.) The trident Centurion stumbles back deeper into the swamp, again challenging the Vampire Lord.

Undead 6: The Zombie legion trips into the brutal Centurion (hindered and ensnared) and the Vampire Lord backflips off a stump into the trident Centurion.

While the brutal Centurion easily fends off the hug train of the Zombie legion, the Vampire Lord finally gets what he wants, skewering the trident Centurion, whose blue blood is brackish, cold and extremely dissatisfying. Speaking of dissatisfaction, the Goreblight’s (hindered) affections leave the Heartpiercers unmoved.

Trident 7: The crabs take this lucky last moment to get on the board, with the surviving Kraken scooting away into the lower left sector. The Coral Giant and brutal Centurion bash 9 damage onto the central Zombie legion but it’s not enough to clear them and their US4 out. The Heartpiercers also don’t magically remove the Goreblight accosting them.

Whatever the Undead did in their turn, they didn’t have the movement to secure any more Control sectors, making this 1 to 5 for a resounding …


While I had hoped to do a little better, and might have with a different terrain setup or control of the initiative, it was fun to face a really dynamic Undead list doing something different. I goofed up with the Zombie legions a couple times, however I also didn’t allocate anything to deal with them, so having them essentially close out the win makes sense. Likewise that Ghoul Ghast who I disrespected the entire game and never swung on, but got that Coral Giant waver that took the last of my momentum away. Well played, deadites.

Cuddle Time once again did pretty poorly as a team, with a single victory (either the Riftforged or the Ratkin took it). This put us on a very low score for Day 1, something like 34 points out of a possible 180, but that just means we’d finally be getting the bottom table cuddle we signed up for 😉

UP NEXT: The Big Dead One!


Welcome to the first of four reports covering the 2022 Crossroads GT! Held in picturesque Elmira, NY, Crossroads kept up the four-player team format this year, with five 2300 point games of Kings of War over two days. Crossroads was also continuing to use Blackjack Scoring. I took up the mantle of Cuddle Captain once again for Team Cuddle Time, even though I sadly had to miss the first game due to a scheduling conflict the day before. A bummer to be sure, but there was another three-player team so it happened to work out without needing a ringer. Anyway, on to lists:


Ratkin 2300
Shock Troops Horde – Plague Pots
Shock Troops Horde – Plague Pots
Nightmares Horde – Fire-Oil
Nightmares Horde
Mutant Rat-fiend
*Death Engine Spewer
Scudku-z’luk, Demonspawn of Diew [1] – Lightning Bolt (5)
Tangle [1] – Bane Chant (1+), Fireball (10+), Mind Fog (1+), Weakness (1+)
War Chief – Sacred Horn, Aura (Vicious(M): Infantry)
Brute Enforcer – Lute of Insatiable Darkness
*Smoke, Mirrors and Death Formation

Riftforged Orcs 2300
Helstrikers Horde
Helstrikers Horde
Riftforged Legionaries Horde
Riftforged Legionaries Horde
Reborn Legionaries Regiment – Orb of Towering Presence
Riftwalkers Troop
Riftwalkers Troop
Stormforged Shrine [1] – Bane Chant (1+), Host Shadowbeast (4+), Lightning Bolt (3+)
Thonaar [1]
Riftforger – Wings of Honeymaze, Stormstrike, Host Shadowbeast (6)
Stormcaller – Inspiring Talisman, Lightning Bolt (4), Mind Fog (3)

Ogres 2300
Siege Breakers Horde – Chalice of Wrath
Siege Breakers Horde – Staying Stone
Hunters Horde – Brew of Haste
Boomers Horde – Fire-Oil
Warrior Chariots Regiment – Boots of Striding
Berserker Braves Regiment
Berserker Braves Regiment
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Berserker Bully – Torc of Dissonance
Nomagarok [1] – Bane Chant (3+), Heal (4+), Lightning Bolt (4+)
Ogre Warlock – Lightning Bolt (3+), Drain Life (5+)
Ogre Warlock – Lightning Bolt (3+), Scorched Earth (2)

(I did fix that Placo’s broken arm when I had a free moment …)

Trident Realm 2300
Water Elementals Horde – Brew of Sharpness
Placoderms Regiment
Placoderms Regiment
Heartpiercers Regiment
Heartpiercers Regiment
Heartpiercers Regiment
Heartpiercers Regiment
Coral Giant
Naiad Centurion – Axe of the Giant Slayer, Trident of the Drowned Sea [1]
Naiad Centurion – Pipes of Terror
Naiad Envoy – Aura (Fury: Infantry & Heavy Infantry), Bastion [1] (2)

The Cuddle Time line up was, per usual, a mix of brawler lists with some shooting and control added for flavor (crab-flavored this time around). Crossroads has a match up phase at the start of each round, where matched up teams put forth two of their armies and the winner of a dice roll gets to decide which two will fight, while the loser decides which scenario they’ll play out of a limited pool for that round. Then the other two teams are presented and the roles reverse.

My goals as captain were a) to try to get my team scenarios that they were cool playing; b) to avoid putting a Me 4+ army into heavy ensnare; and c) to avoid personally fighting Ogres. That was about all my sleep-deprived brain could handle and I more or less accomplished all three … with apologies to our Ogre player, who spent most of the weekend fighting Trident Realm or Ogres 😐


  • The Herd
  • The Herd
  • Abyssal Dwarfs

I was driving to the event during the first round, but when I arrived I got the update that it had not gone great! Turns out my 5 point bye was our second highest score :/


  • Halflings
  • Orcs
  • Sylvan Kin
  • Riftforged Orcs

While I can’t remember who we fed to the Sylvan Kin, I do know we arranged a Riftoff 😀 And I ended up facing Halflings for possibly the first time ever …

Halflings 2300
Stalwarts Horde – Hammer of Measured Force
Juggers Horde – Brew of Strength, Relentless
Juggers Regiment – Potion of the Caterpillar, Relentless
Aeronauts Regiment – Wine of Elvenkind
Aeronauts Regiment – Brew of Haste
Braves Regiment
Braves Regiment
Iron Beast – Pride of the Shires [1]
Muster Captain on Winged Aralez – Aegis of the Elohi, Relentless
Gunnery Sergeant on Troll – Relentless
Gunnery Sergeant on Troll
Engineer – Aura (WC (+1): Tinker), Radiance of Life (Tinker), Gadgets and Gizmos [1], Halfling Long Rifle
Sauceror – Sacred Horn

Yowza, that’s a lot of special rules to remember – check out the quadruple upgrades on the Engineer, none of which are magic artefacts! I’ve spent enough time with the Halfling list, and hearing about the army in action, to know that the Aeronauts are the real menace here. Everything else is more or less a standard or slightly worse version of what it looks like. As an aside, the army was being piloted by a local dude (Tim?) who I haven’t played since Fantasy days and hadn’t really played much of third edition. He admitted to being an AOS guy but when the Crossroads AOS event fell apart he was recruited to help fill a team out. Regardless, he was a pleasure and I tried to point out any gotchas during our game.

We played Control, with the Halflings going first.


Battlelines! Also I did not realize that was a Jugger horde until he deployed it …

Halfings 1: The host sallies forth in a graceful crescent (roll) formation. Also the Engineer snipes 1 damage on the trident Centurion over on the right. The left Aeronauts are the Sp 8 ones, and while the right ones have nimble, I don’t believe it ever came up again.

Trident 1: A general scuttling in response, with Krakens flexing some charge distances and me regretting everything I put on the right. I hem and haw and decide to push hard on the right Aeronauts, bringing the Centurion into range. His slayer-trident and the Heartpiercers only stick 4 damage, failing to waver. Other shooting manage 1 damage on the Jugger regiment (after iron resolve) and 2 on the Stalwarts.

Ensnare and hindering be damned!

Halflings 2: The left flank jockeys for position as Braves are mobilized to get in the way, while the center slowly presses forward. Troll Sergeants pepper the left Placoderms and right Kraken with 1 damage each, and the Engineer does the same to the Water Elementals. The real action, sadly, is the Aeronauts plowing into the trident Centurion (let’s pretend he did 1 damage and grounded them) and blowing him the hell up. Irreducible blast Me 4+ is pretty neat, especially against -2 to hit.

Trident 2: I shake off the loss of my Very Cool Gun but am now doubly afraid of the left Aeronauts looming 18″ off my left flank. The brutal Centurion charges into the Muster Captain on Winged Aralez, grounding him (even if doing 0 damage after double IR) while I clear some room for the Coral Giant to do something eventually. Heartpiercers push the Jugger reg to 3 damage, the Pride of the Shires to 2 and the Stalwart horde to 3. Over on the right, I shove Heartpiercers into the Jugger horde to buy the Water Elementals some time (and do 1 damage in the process, despite being hindered <3). It’s a good thing too, because the Water Elementals only do 3-4 damage to the Aeronauts, but at least they waver the death zeppelins.

Halflings 3: The main story here is the Jugger horde feeding the Heartpiercers on the right to their dogs while the center advances more confidently and the Braves on the left continue to bait the crabs. The Muster Captain does 2 damage to the brutal Centurion and a Troll Sergeant plinks the left Placoderms up to 3 damage. We also remember that the Iron Beast has iron resolve, so remove its damage from previous turns. Finally, the Saucerer decides to do some Gastromancy – quite sure Rally (1) was on the menu.

Trident 3: I think for a long time (17 min left on my clock at the half way mark of the game!), and decide to crush his bait and give the left Aeronauts some of their own. Placoderms and Coral Giant smash the Braves, with CeeGee turning to face the center (spoiler: gunning for that Pride) and the Placos protecting his rear as the Kraken looms / prepares to be Aeronauted directly. The Centurion continues to ground the Muster Captain (and regenerate). In the center, more Placoderms (enjoying bastion) hold the Pride of the Shires in place so the Kraken can grind the Stalwarts down. They’re up to 10 damage but still have a ways to go. On the right, the Water Elementals finally finish off their Aeronauts and face the Jugger horde salivating in their direction.

Harpoons have of course been flying during all this combat: Heartpiercers finish off the Jugger reg to the left and start in on the right Brave regiment (looks like 4 damage worth).

Halflings 4: Perhaps wisely, the Aeronauts don’t take any of their available charges, leaving the Jugger horde the only fresh (hindered) charge into the Water Elementals. Many counter-charges happen across the board (Muster Captain to Centurion, Iron Beast to Placoderms, Stalwarts to Kraken), and gun fire pops into the left Placos (4 damage) and rightmost Heartpiercers (1 damage).

The Muster Captain lucky wavers the brutal Centurion, but damage is low across the board, with the Placos taking 4 and the Kraken 2. Oh, except of course the Water Elementals are pulled apart by the Juggers.

Trident 4: Wasting no time, the Coral Giant crashes into the flank of the Pride of the Shires, tearing it asunder, as the central Kraken gently rampages the Stalwarts up to 15 damage. Heartpiercers target the left Troll Sergeant (1 damage) and the surviving Braves (7 total) but really I’m left waiting to see what those Aeronauts are doing and willfully ignoring the Jugger horde out on the right flank.

You’ll notice that the left Kraken didn’t charge the Muster Captain and that the left Placoderms have wandered forward with the flying monster in their flank. I’m pretty sure I’m baiting the Aeronauts to have a go at the Placos so my Kraken can at least hold them in place for the rest of the game. If the Kraken had charged the fresh Muster Captain, he would have fluffed and been flanked by the Aeronauts.

Halflings 5: Able to fly free, the Muster Captain swoops into the flank of the left Placoderms, swinging for the fences and taking the hardy crabs off … but without the help of the Aeronauts, who continue to abstain. In the center, the Braves squeak past the building and flank the Kraken menacing the Stalwarts, but any damage to the titanic crustacean is minimal (4 total).

Trident 5: The drama on the left flank continues as the brutal Centurion and Kraken pounce on the victorious Muster Captain, yet can only manage 5 damage (7 before double resolve). The Coral Giant moves closer to supervise, freeing up space for the Placoderms in the center to flank and scatter the Stalwarts and the central Kraken to counter the Braves and spread them across the field. Heartpiercer fire goes into Troll Sergeants, however they’re hardy heroes.

Oh. No.

Halfling 6: Tim spies a gnarly overrun through the Centurion into the left Kraken, but it’s not to be as the brutal Centurion soaks a relatively light bombing run with only 5 damage. The Muster Captain meanwhile does 0-1 damage to the Kraken in his grill. The remnants of the Halfling army back out of LOS or they’re a Jugger horde who isn’t scared of a pillow-fisted Kraken charge.

Trident 6: The Coral Giant thunders into the flank of the Muster Captain, ripping him off his flying doggo and spiking the diminutive hero. His Aralez flies off to do best boy things in a less crabby land. This frees the left Kraken and brutal Centurion to finally take a crack at the Aeronauts, however 6 damage isn’t enough to matter. Otherwise the crabs secure their hold on the map, and I clock out.

With no Turn 7 and a 4 to 2 control score, this is a …


My opponent was a gent and I hope he went on to have a good time. As it turned out, I was the only win for Cuddle Time this round. Summoning the power of Even More Caffeine, I reracked the crabs and headed into the final match of the day.

UP NEXT: Harlequin Hobby!


Last game of Unplugged 2022 and I’m up against Pat and his gorgeous Dwarfs, as was very likely our destiny. We face each other at just about every tournament we’re at, and it’s a minor miracle that we missed each other at Dead of Winter back in February. He’s changed things up since we played at Crossroads 2021, but then COK22 has hit since then as well.

Dwarfs 1995
*Ironclad Horde – Throwing Mastiff, Hammer of Measured Force
Berserker Brock Riders Regiment – Potion of the Caterpillar
*Bulwarkers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
*Bulwarkers Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Mastiff Hunting Pack Regiment – Throwing Mastiff
Sharpshooters Troop
Sharpshooters Troop
Sharpshooters Troop
Steel Behemoth – Golloch’s Fury
Berserker Lord on Brock – Blade of the Beast Slayer
Stone Priest – Ej Periscope, Radiance of Life, Mind Fog (3), Scorched Earth (3)
*Dwarf Army Standard Bearer
*The Royal Guard Formation

For those not in the know, the Dwarf formation adds +1 Me and Nv and gives the ASB aura (Elite (Melee) Infantry) and Very Inspiring. I’m going to say that qualifies as very rad. Around this core are a cloud of shooty chaff/scenario pieces, a fast flanking force and one serious shooty / buffing monster-chariot. Altogether a tight Dwarf build looking to keep up with the meta.

Final round was Control, with the Dwarfs going first one way or another.


Battlelines! My heroes are Centurion > Bastion > Hex.
Dwarfs 1: Roll out! Sharpshooters target the left Placoderms (no regen + no cover) and a central Heartpiercer unit (no cover).
It’s distressingly effective! 2 and 5 damage respectively.
Trident 1: The big crabs move into menacing positions while Heartpiercers take aim at the left Bulwarkers (a ‘softer’ Dwarf unit :P), doing them 5 damage. Also that one unit regens back to 1 damage.
Dwarfs 2: The heavy center shores up its line to avoid any sneaky flanks, and the left flank shuffles a bit to keep the Brocks safe and bring their dogs up. Sharpshooters tag a couple more damage on the left Placoderms (to 4) and those damaged Heartpiercers (to 3), and the Stone Priest whips scorched earth on my Water Elemental horde to blunt potential double charges with the Kraken.
Trident 2: I press the issue on the left, moving Placoderms up (secure in their phalanx) with the Kraken providing pressure. The Heartpiercers over there stick 4 damage onto the pups and waver them, stopping them from tossing their smaller, angrier dog next turn.
Speaking of dog violence, on the right I see an opening and punch a Kraken into a Mastiff pack, exploding them and turning to be a problem for the Dwarf castle. I’ll note right now that I’m quite concerned about having the big lug running around without inspiring, however the Dwarf options for dealing with him at range are quite low, and he is a big boy. Centrally, Heartpiercers continue raining barbs into the left Bulwarkers, pushing them to 9 damage.
Dwarfs 3: I’m getting pretty nervous about a mass throwing mastiff event – last time we played Pay deleted a fresh Shambler horde with 5-6 dogs – but he’d have to overcommit to make that happen / I’ve been keeping his Mastiff units occupied. For example, the rightmost pups rear charge my aggro Kraken 😐 On the left, the Brock lord flanks the other Kraken, keen to use his beast slayer blade.
The dulcet tones of hubris can be heard tolling across the field.
A single mastiff does not a dog tossin’ festival make.
When the smoke clears, Sharpshooters waver the left Placoderms (on 5 damage) and combine fire with a throwing mastiff to do 4 to the other Placoderms. The Brock lord rips 5 damage into the left Kraken, while the brutal Mastiff rear charge on the other Kraken only does 2 (27 on 5+/4+ but also they fluffed quite badly).
Trident 3: On the left, the Kraken can easily get to the corner of the Brock Riders, so goes for it. The Heartpiercers and Centurion move up in support / to end the Mastiff menace on that flank. On the right, I continue to be both aware that I’ll have to grind the Ironclad to kill it and that it will very likely kill whatever it swings at. But I also remember just how slow Dwarfs are … The Placoderms saunter up to tempt the Bulwarkers or better yet pressure the horde if the Heartpiercers can end them this turn. The Kraken on the right deigns to front charge the Bulwarkers who had turned just enough to face him, instead sidestepping to continue to be a problem and potentially crack that Dwarf backfield.
Shooting does see those Bulwarkers off on the right, but a snake eyes on the leftmost Mastiffs keeps them in the game on 13 damage. In combat, the Kraken does an acceptable 7 damage to the Brock Riders.
Dwarfs 4: The Kraken on the left is countered by Brock Riders, flanked by (devastated) Mastiffs and reared by the Brock Lord. No pressure, buddy. The Kraken on the right is faced by Bulwarkers and Mastiffs, as you can hear the sound of throwing mastiffs powering up … The Ironclad wander forward, keeping threats in their front arc, as Golloch’s Fury continues to hover within firing range of the Placoderms (who it was probably shooting occasionally, to limited effect).
Kraken in Predicaments: Part One
Kraken in Predicaments: Part Two
Sharpshooters remove the left Placoderms with some spicy Nv dice (!), and the right Placoderms are pushed to 5 damage by more Sharpshooters and likely Golloch’s. The right Kraken weathers the storm of dogs fine. In combat, the left Kraken is savaged up to 15 damage but holds with nary a waver.
Trident 4: With enough blood in the water (crabby or otherwise), I guess it’s finally time to really go to work. On the left, the Kraken counters the Brock Riders (and regenerates 11 damage), Heartpiercers rear charge the mangled Mastiffs and the Centurion duels the Brock Lord. On the right, the Water Elementals launch out of the woods into the flank of the Bulwarkers, with the Centurion thundering the 1″ into their front. The Placoderms attempt to back away from the Ironclad but ironically can’t escape their reach, so a Heartpiercer unit sprints forward to jam them up.
The shooting I have goes into the Ironclad, for 2 damage, iron resolved to 1 and radianced off next turn :/ In combat, the Brock Riders and Mastiffs are driven off, tho the Brock Lord takes a single damage because Centurion. The Bulwarkers on the right are shattered and the big crabs turn to thoroughly complicate the Dwarf castle.
Dwarfs 5: While he may be running low on units, the Dwarf general still has quite a lot of guns at his disposal, as well as US. The Ironclad shrug and head into the Heartpiercers offered up to them, the last of the Mastiff packs pounces on the hex Envoy babysitting the big crabs (ensared + hindered), and the Brock Lord grimly hefts his blade and charges the left Kraken before it launches into the Sharpshooters.
Sharpshooters and maybe also Golloch crack the right Placoderms, bastion be damned! Then in combat the Ironclad pulp the Heartpiercers and the Brock Lord does a solid 5 damage to the left Kraken, lucky wavering it and saving the left flank for at least another turn. Bravo, slayer! Oh, the hex Envoy takes no damage from the Mastiffs harrying it.
Trident 5: Still not wanting anything to do with the Ironclad horde, the Water Elementals flank charge Golloch’s Fury and the right Kraken skitters into the flank of some Sharpshooters. The hex Envoy scampers away from the Mastiffs to tempt the Ironclad into wasting time. On the left, the Heartpiercers back up because somebody has to score the back left section and those Sharpshooters are scary, but also they prepare to shoot the Brock Lord with the Centurion’s help. And because of course he did, the left Kraken regenerates all 9 damage on him.
Shooting skewers the Brock Lord to 3 damage, the Stone Priest to 3 (wavered!) and the Mastiff pack to 3 as well. In combat, the Water Elementals hammer 12 damage into Golloch’s Fury, wavering it, shortly before the Kraken rampages through the Sharpshooters and prepares for the next one in line.
Dwarfs 6: Golloch’s Fury headstrongs and counters the Water Elementals, as the Brock Lord charges the left Kraken again. The Ironclad push forward to claim my central section and toss their dog at some Heartpiercers, the Mastiffs hopefully position themselves in the bottom right section, and Sharpshooters scoot around to claim sections or face their towering destructors.
The Ironclad’s mastiff does 2 damage to the Heartpiercers, then the Brock Lord and Golloch do a respectable 5 damage to their targets, if to no effect.
Trident 6: The left Kraken smashes the flank of the top left Sharpshooters, claiming that section. The Water Elementals overwhelm Golloch’s Fury, claiming my two point section regardless of how the Kraken did front charging the Sharpshooters. Heartpiercers give the Ironclad a wide berth, shooting Stone Priest and Mastiffs in the process (possibly unto death, not that they could contest, at all or enough). With 5 points to 2, and no Turn 7, this was a very solid …


While this dunking couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, it felt good to get a heavy win and feel like I played competently while doing so. I certainly showed more patience with my punchy stuff than maybe ever, and while my Heartpiercers didn’t dictate the game as in the last match, I used them as the scenario pieces I designed the army around, which is a good feel of its own. I’m sure Pat and I will rematch soon enough 😀

So with this big win I ended up 2-2-1, getting the 50% record I always try for. Happily I also got 4th best sports, which helped put me at I think 11 of 18 in the final ranking? Not bad at all for how heavy the field was.

Thanks for reading all these, and big thanks to the crew at Unplugged Gamers for putting the GT on. I’m thrilled I could make it out after a few years away, looking forward to next year.

UP NEXT: 2600 points of mayhem at the Orc Town GT early June!


Unplugged Day Two dawns with me up against my clubmate and tournament bunk buddy Drew and his Undead. We’ve scrummed a number of times, but never at 1995? And certainly not with his shiny new Werewolves or Wraiths.

Undead 1995
Wights Horde – Potion of the Caterpillar
Wights Horde – Boots of Striding
Wights Horde – Fire-Oil
Soul Reaver Infantry Regiment – Staying Stone
Werewolves Regiment
Zombies Regiment
Zombies Regiment
Wraiths Troop
Wraiths Troop
Vampire on Undead Pegasus – Surge (4)
Necromancer – Inspiring Talisman, Surge (6), Heal (3)
Necromancer – Surge (6), Heal (3)

I continue to be shocked by how good Wights are, tho I probably shouldn’t be at this point 😛 He’s replaced his Ghoul chaff with Wraith chaff and swapped out excessive Zombie regiments with a half pack of Werewolves looking to do things like move at the double. I’m surprised he’s done so poorly to be down here with me but I think he had some hard match-ups in day one.

Fourth round was Salt the Earth, again with tokens pre-placed on the map. The Undead went first, either because he’s slow or I wanted to shoot his dudes.


Battlelines! So clean and fresh. His inspiring Necromancer is centrally behind some Wraiths and next to Wights. My heroes are Centurion > Bastion > Hex.
Undead 1: A general moaning can be heard as the deadites drift forward, with the exception of the Soul Reavers who take advantage of their vitality to jog ahead of the army. The Vampasus is lurking behind the tower and facing to my left.
Trident 1: Kraken angle in on the flanks, but mostly I bring 40 Heartpiercer harpoon guns to bear on the Soul Reaver Infantry …
… and delete the bloodthirsty scourge 😤 (A very average 10 damage followed by a very average 7 to rout. He lamented not having inspiring near them and had me reroll out of curiosity, and of course I got the 5 that with staying stone would have been nothing.)
Undead 2: The ghosts drift up, with the Werewolves protecting the flank of the rightmost Wights. The wolves go ahead and burn that token on the hill while they’re at it, as do the Wraiths in the forest on the left.
Trident 2: I do something that I rarely do and back up. And feel dirty in the process, but hey, I’ve got guns and the Undead are slow and want to murder me in combat. But I’m still me tho and launch the right Kraken into the Werewolves, because a) killing them isn’t crazy (one shot at an 8-10 Nv test), b) killing the Wights next to them isn’t crazy with Heartpiercers (one shot at a 10), c) hexing one of the Necros makes a flank surge more dicey, d) even if the Kraken dies next turn, more of my guns will be unengaged for another turn.
Heartpiercers stick 2-3 damage on the left Wights and 5 on the right ones, for all the good it does. Hex fails to hit a Necromancer as well. In combat, the Kraken only does 3 damage and there’s no lucky 11 rout to save him. Sigh. Would have been much better to rotate him in and let the Werewolves make the decision of where to charge, then either counter them or slowly grind.
Coming attraction for the next episode of ‘Kraken in Predicaments’ …
Undead 3: The dead make contact with the crabby lines at last. Wraiths block up the left Kraken and Water Elementals, as Wights and Vampasus prepare to dunk the left Placoderms, phalanx be damned. The right Kraken is countered by Werewolves and sadly flanked by Wights, thanks to a stellar 4+ surge when he needed 1″. The show off.
The poor right Kraken explodes into crab parts, however the rest of the combats hold tight, with the Kraken taking 4 (!), Placos 6 and Water Elementals 1 damage.
Trident 3: The grind has begun, even if there are more Wights on the table than I had hoped. The Kraken counters the Wraiths (grudgingly), the Placoderms counter the Vampasus with the Centurion charging the left Wights to sit them down / body block, and the Water Elementals counter the other Wraiths (grudgingly). The right, shooty arm of the crab line shores up any flying / surge flank shenanigans.
Heartpiercers push the right Wights from 4 damage to dead, and stick the inspiring Necro for 1 damage, lucky wavering him! The Placoderms snip 4 damage on the Vampasus, the Wraiths take some damage but hold frustratingly, and the Centurion does 0 damage to the left Wights, leaving them free to fly where they will :O
Undead 4: Some very careful measuring later, and the left Wights end up front charging the (uninspired) Kraken with the Wraiths countering. Likewise the central Wights combo into the Water Elemental horde with the other Wraiths. The Vampasus counters the Placoderms (grudgingly), and the Werewolves end up charging into the pond into the other Placoderms, maybe to protect the Wights’ flank if they don’t one round the Water Elementals.
Except Wights are combat gods (especially when they’ve got Fire-Oil vs regening Water Elementals), and the mega crab bites it. The Kraken takes 12 damage and blessedly wavers (WHEW), while both Placoderms take 2 damage and hold (up to 8 vs the Vampasus).
Trident 4: The Kraken disengages and furiously regens down to 6 damage, as the Centurion prepares to sit the left Wights down with his trident and the Placoderms counter the Vampasus. The Heartpiercers to their right charge some Wraiths to sit them down, and the other Placoderms back away from the Werewolves so they can be ventilated by all those Heartpiercers.
Which they are, quite handily. The Centurion does manage to sit down the left Wights (1 damage!), and in combat the Heartpiercers likewise sit down their Wraiths (3 damage total). But I’ll stop burying the lead: the Placoderms kill the Vampasus! Totally unexpected. They take the moment to turn and face the Wights about to kill the Kraken next turn.
Undead 5: Despite my wealth of Heartpiercers, Drew’s still got two very fresh Wight hordes and two very functional Wraith troops to kill me with, plus his Zombies just casually winning the game in his deployment zone. On the left, Wraiths and Wights charge the wounded Kraken. In the center, Wraiths float sideways and prepare a stomach-churningly easy surge into the bastion Envoy and very easy overrun into some Heartpiercers …
Act 1, Scene 1
Act 1, Scene 2
Act 2, Scene 1
Apart from the Envoy getting nuked, the combats go better than anticipated, with both the Kraken and Heartpiercers holding! On 13 and 8 damage respectively. Drew sees those Placoderm flanks/rears and declares the game over, especially if those things can kill a Vampasus 😦
Trident 5: Hindered or not, no way I’m passing up those Wight underbellies! Placoderms and Centurion hit the left Wights in the flank (Kraken backs off and regens down to 6), and other Placoderms rear charge the other Wights (Heartpiercers back off and regen down to 4). The Heartpiercers mobilize, with one unit powering forward to make a Turn 6 play for the center token.
The inspiring Necromancer is shot down, and the other is hexed (FINALLY) but then wavered as well. In combat, neither Wight unit takes much damage – 5 to the left horde and just 3 to the rear-charged horde. Woof. I also take the opportunity to burn the token in the left forest, which I had been debating all game.
Undead 6: With the Placos unable to stop their reign of terror, the ghosts continue their assault on the living. Wraiths charge the Kraken once more, as the left Wights counter the Centurion, looking to overrun into the Placoderms (8 damage) who are reared by more Wraiths. The central Wights ignore the Placoderms to their rear and continue on into the Heartpiercers to their front.
Another horrific montage later and Centurion, Placoderms and Heartpiercers are all dead. (Editorial Note: That 0″ overrun feels pretty bad, but then again the Wights are less than 50/50 that they kill the Centurion. Tho don’t tell Drew’s dice, he was hitting like a madman all game.) The Kraken finally avoids being wavered tho!
Trident 6: I scoot those Heartpiercers to the center, drawing the game, even if there’s some attempted murder to be had. The Kraken swings into the left Wraiths and the Placoderms front charge the central Wights. Neither combat really does much, but both units are grounded, which is nice. The surviving Necro is hexed and wavered again by some Heartpiercers.
Undead 7: On the left, the Wights and Wraiths combo charge the Kraken again, except this time he’s completely regenerated, if uninspired. In the center, we keep that feel good ghost combo going, with Wights and Wraiths hitting the Placoderms (in retrospect this doesn’t seem legal, as I don’t think the Wraiths could draw LOS to the teeny 2.5mm of base peeping around the Wights; surge would make it possible to sidestep the Wights, charge the Wraiths and surge the Wights, but the Necro was out of commission).
At long last, the second Kraken falls 😦 Also the Placoderms die.
Trident 7: My last gasp play is to shoot off those right Zombies, however I only do 1 damage so can’t even spike the box cars victory. I spitefully pour the rest of the Heartpiercers into the central Wights, pushing them to 8 damage but I can’t sink the 9 to rout them. With 2 tokens each, this is decidedly a …

DRAW (10-10)

What. A. Journey. I felt like this was a breakthrough game for me where my deployment was sound and I fully recognized my shooting advantage and really made the most of it. Throwing the right Kraken away was a bummer and would have changed the game wildly if I held onto him, although I really wanted him to dive into the Undead backfield to clear out those Zombies / force him to burn those tokens I otherwise couldn’t get to. Also Wights are frustratingly good and make surge just so much more viable than it usually is (in my head), but you certainly pay for it. Wraiths on the other hand, damn, that’s some value right there. Finally, I’m more and more convinced that I need Lute back in the list, more than I need the trident, almost entirely because it helps the Placoderms do anything. Spoilers I guess for my next list.

UP NEXT: Dwarfs!


With my sweet 4 points, I’m matched up against a gorgeous Moorish (?) army likewise wallowing down here at the bottom. Wyatt’s a good guy with some serious tools in his list, who must have been smacked by some heavies in the first couple rounds.

Brothermark 1995
Order of the Abyssal Hunt Regiment – Blessing of the Gods
*Paladin Knights Regiment – Aegis Fragment, Potion of the Caterpillar
*Paladin Knights Regiment – Aegis Fragment, Boots of Striding
Men-at-Arms Spearmen Horde – Veteran Command, Hammer of Measured Force
Villein Bowmen Horde – Fire-Oil
Villein Skirmishers Troop
*High Paladin on Dragon – Staying Stone
Exemplar Hunter on Horse – The Gauntlet, Scythe of the Harvester
Exemplar Chaplain on Horse – Battle Hymns, Knowledgeable, Host Shadowbeast (8), Crown of the Wizard King
Exemplar Chaplain – Battle Hymns, Zephyr Crown
*Defenders of Righteousness Formation

He walked me through the Exemplar Hunter + Shadowbeast wombo-combo, which definitely has legs, especially against individuals (thanks to duellist) but really anything (thanks to both rampage and slayer). Otherwise it’s three serious knight units, one helluva dragon, and some loathsome peasant Nerve blocks / scenario pieces. He did admit at some point that there’s a severe lack of inspiring, calling it a “design flaw” 😀

Third round was Pillage, with the seven tokens already placed on the map. Brothermark went first whether or not they wanted to.


Battlelines! The Abyssal Hunt are behind the hill, along with Hunter. The shadowbeast Chaplain is next to the dragon, along with the rest of the formation. My heroes are Hex > Bastion (lake) > Centurion, and you can just see the other Kraken there on the right.
Brothermark 1: Despite their hunger to smite the crustaceous menace, the Brothermark manage to advance with caution across the line, largely staying out of LOS. The Bowmen move into range of the leftmost (uninspired!) Heartpiercers, and despite 7+ to hit do 2 damage thanks to Fire-Oil.
Trident 1: Placoderms park themselves in that central wood, in range of both the High Paladin and one Paladin Knight regiment. I make sure every other target can only be charged by one unit, and toss bastion on a Kraken in case. The right Heartpiercers burn the right Paladin Knight’s aegis fragment, the central Heartpiercers can’t do 2 damage to the left Knights, and the Heartpiercers on the left cower behind their hill from the Bowmen’s flaming arrows.
Brothermark 2: After some deliberation, the Brothermark slam through the woods and into the crabby arms of their quarry! Paladin Knights (phalanxed) and dragon (hindered) hit the Placoderms, while more Paladin Knights hit the advanced Heartpiercers. Abyssal Hunt jam the other Placoderms, with Hunter in tow. The peasants hold tight for now.
That’s High Paladin Leeroy Jenkins to you, cur! (And his cloak of death already doing work …)
Bowmen stick 2 damage on the left Placoderms, shortly before they’re wind blasted sideways (!), for all it’ll do next turn. In combat, the Heartpiercers explode but the Placoderms hold on 8 damage like champs. Hell yea.
Trident 2: Looks like we’ve got a game! Both Kraken hit the right Paladin Knights in the flank, the Placoderms counter the dragon, and the other Placoderms charge the Abyssal Hunt to get that started. Heartpiercers jockey for shots on the unengaged Paladin Knights in the center of the board.
Those Paladin Knights escape the crossfire relatively unscathed (3 damage), then bastion goes up on a Kraken. Speaking of Kraken, they rampage through their Paladin Knights, with one sidestepping to give some maneuver options. Placoderms manage to ground the High Paladin and poke the Abyssal Hunt for token damage.
Brothermark 3: It would appear there’s plenty of smiting to be had, so the Bros get back to it. The Paladin Knights flank the dragon’s Placoderms, as the dragon counters them and the Abyssal Hunt counters their Placoderms. Also the Exemplar Hunter charges into the poor hex Envoy 😐 The various peasant units grow restless and sally forth for reasons. Cloak of death from the dragon splashes everywhere.
[sound of a 20+ attak chainsaw revving up]
A vicious bongo solo from a Chaplain hosts ~4 attaks into the Hunter, moments before he revs up his scythe, activates his gauntlet, and turns the hex Envoy into crab vapor :O The High Paladin and Paladin Knights crack their Placoderms, but happily the other heavy crab bois only go up to 5 damage against the Abyssal Hunt.
Trident 3: Both Kraken pound into the dragon’s front, as the Water Elemental horde skitters from the pond into the Paladin Knights and some Heartpiercers mob the flank of the Exemplar Hunter. Placos counter the Abyssal Hunt. (I spent a long time trying to get the Water Elementals + Kraken into dragon, but I couldn’t get a Kraken into the Paladin Knights, so would have to wear their charge next turn. I could have turned off their TC with the Centurion’s trident? Making the charge less of a thing to worry about.)
I live for Kaiju Big Battle titan fights ❤
The right Heartpiercers start chunking damage on the Spearmen, then bastion fails to cast. In combat, the Kraken boff the dragon up to 8 damage, sadly not saving the Water Elementals from the corkscrew next turn. The Elementals smack the Paladin Knights up to 8 damage as well, again not saving themselves from the dragon corkscrew. Sigh. Anyway, the Placoderms disorder the Abyssal Hunt again (3 damage total after all the iron resolving), and stunningly the Heartpiercers do 2! damage to the Hunter (down to 1). Which is relevant because that dude is CS1 + TC1.
Brothermark 4: The Water Elementals are corkscrewed by the High Paladin, as we both expected, with Paladin Knights in the front. Villein Skirmishers whip off the hill into a Kraken, for violence, and the Abyssal Hunt counters the Placoderms, with the Hunter in their flank.
With 12 total attaks after scythe and shadowbeast, the Hunter is more than capable of cracking some Placoderm shell, and he and the Abyssal Hunt drive them off at last. The Water Elementals are also decimated by the dragon flank. The Skirmishers do an admirable 2 damage to their Kraken, despite all the negatives!
Trident 4: Alright, alright, so that’s a big hole in my lines :/ Kraken have really limited access to the High Paladin, so instead they hit the mangled Paladin Knights and aim to one round the Skirmishers. I point a lot of guns at the dragon.
20 Heartpiercer shots (into cover) and 5 Centurion lasers (into cover plus he’s a muppet) are enough to pop the High Paladin, and I can finally take a breath this turn. 10 spare Heartpiercer harpoons into the Abyssal Hunt convert to a crazy 6 damage, putting them on 8 too. In combat, the Kraken rampage through all that horse flesh, crushing both the Paladin Knights and Skirmishers.
Brothermark 5: While the game feels pretty well in the crabs’ claws, this is a seven token Pillage game, and my lead in scoring units isn’t huge. To whit, the Abyssal Hunt thunder into a unit of Heartpiercers on the left (where there’s no inspiring!), and the Spearmen trip through the woods to tie a Kraken down, where his US1 doesn’t do anything. The Exemplar Hunter slips his gauntlet back on and powers into the Centurion as well.
A shadowy beast is once again hosted into the Hunter, moments before a rain of flaming arrows from the Bowmen remove a full regiment of Heartpiercers! Praise be unto the lords of the deep tho, the Abyssal Hunt is not able to one round the other Heartpiercers, wavering them instead on 10 damage. Likewise the Exemplar Hunter is punished for his zeal, as his whirlwind of attaks is parried and deflected by the Centurion, who wavers on 7 damage. The Spearmen do nothing at all to the Kraken.
Trident 5: A Kraken is unleashed into the flank of the Abyssal Hunt, while its kin counters the Spearmen horde in its way. Lots of regeneration happens (the left Heartpiercers dropping to 3 from 10!)
The Abyssal Hunt’s campaign of righteousness is cut short by a titanic crab in their midst. The Spearmen are stomped and pinched up to 8 damage. While the game has swung back to me, I’m pretty terrified of the Piercing Bowmen horde’s potential and have admitted I can’t do much of anything about the Hunter.
Brothermark 6: The Exemplar Hunter, blind in his rage, charges the Centurion again, hindering and ensnaring be damned. The Spearmen continue prodding their Kraken, as the Bowmen light their arrows …
Have at you, foul spawn of the depths!
A solid 6 damage later, the Bowmen get the Kraken’s attention but leave it free to rampage next turn. In combat, the Centurion once mores duels the Hunter to exhaustion, surviving the storm of blows with just a waver again. And the Spearmen run out of time on the clock to poke their Kraken.
Trident 6: With the Brothermark out of time, I punch the central Kraken forward to draw the game (2 tokens each), and move the left Heartpiercers into position to win on Turn 7. Unless the other Kraken can pound those Spearmen into goo? (Spoilers: He can’t and is doing token damage each turn.) Right Heartpiercers try to shoot down the Exemplar Hunter but it’s hard going.
Trident 7: I move the left Heartpiercers onto a token, solidify the central Kraken’s dominance of that token on the hill, and clock out rolling regen. With 3 tokens to 2, this is a …


There’s a different version of this game where Wyatt didn’t go so ham into a charge I wanted him to take, but I also think my list matches pretty well into his, with my phalanx, speed and rampage (also guns). He had some misgivings about his choices in our game, but wore it well. For me, I won’t pretend finishing Day 1 with a win didn’t feel great. After this we got grub and partied at the house of the TO, which was super nice of him and his spouse.

UP NEXT: Undead!


Game two sees me hurtling down to the depths to face a really quite competent Nightstalkers player I’ve never met who must have faced a real heavy first game to get dunked down here with me. Anyway, without further ado:

Nightstalkers 1995
Fiends Horde – Mead of Madness
Butchers Horde
Butchers Horde
Butchers Horde
Soulflayers Regiment – Wind Blast (5)
Soulflayers Regiment – Wind Blast (5)
Soulflayers Regiment – Wind Blast (5)
Phantoms Troop
Planar Apparition – Heal (7), Mind Fog (2)
Mind-screech – Lightning Bolt (6), Mind Fog (6), Wind Blast (6)
Mind-screech – Lightning Bolt (6), Mind Fog (6), Wind Blast (6)
Portal of Despair

Lots to like here. Enough Soulflayers to take advantage of the new hotness without being abusive, decent mix of support monsters, bit of an old school flair with the triple Butchers, and the Portal for style points. Could certainly be tuned but its got lots of tools to work with.

Second round was Loot, and he went first either by choice or command.


Battlelines (ignore those Phantoms jumping the photo)! My heroes are Centurion > Hex > Bastion.
Nightstalkers 1: The Phantoms and Fiends zip forward and grab tokens, thanks to the power of being fast and having wide bases (in retrospect, can the Fiends do this, mathematically speaking? *sounds of me doing math* yep, they can make the 11.5000001″ needed to contact the token if they move straight forward and turn precisely 45°. While he obviously turned more than that, so would have been technically short, it’s also a completely moot point given his strength on that flank!) In the shooting phase, he windblasts the Placoderms on the right back (!!) as well as the Kraken looming on the left flank (!!). In the Kraken’s case I could have easily put the Centurion behind him to keep him in place :/ Speaking of inspiring, lightning strikes the hex Envoy for 1 damage but lucky wavers him.
Trident 1: So this might be even harder than expected, thanks to all the wind 😅 I vaguely threaten the left, trusting the Kraken + Centurion combo to keep things occupied and/or grounded for a while, while pushing up the right flank in a bid to grab the Phantoms and play for the center. Shooting tags 3 damage on the cover-less central Butchers and 2 on the right Soulflayers, lucky wavering the flying, windblasting menace! Bastion goes up on the right Kraken.
Nightstalkers 2: The living nightmares descend upon the well-meaning-but-perpetually-misunderstood crab people on the left, with Fiends (hindered) plus Soulflayers into the Kraken, the loot having been handed off to the left Butchers. The NS center trudges toward the fighty crabs, while the right fades, with Phantoms pulling away with the loot and wavered Soulflayers backing up. Of note is that he had to use a Mind-screech to block a rear charge into the Phantoms, as the Portal couldn’t manage it thanks to facing and stuff. Also the damaged Butchers grab the central loot.
Zero pressure, you got this, big guy! Odds are totally in your favor!
Shooting sees the Placos in the woods windblasted back (!!), plus 1 damage healed from the wounded Butchers. In combat, the hindered Fiends (24x 6+/3+) and Soulflayers (12x 4+/2+) do 9ish damage then double 10+ the rout test. Booooo.
Trident 2: Now gentle reader, I’m going to need you to quiet down. Yes, this is a lot like Game 1 but the difference is that these things are all Stealthy as well 😐 In a bid to stay in this game, I unleash the Water Elemental horde into the flank of the blocking Mind-screech, hot on the Phantoms’ tail. The surviving Kraken powers into some Butchers to start the grind, with Heartpiercers charging the other Butchers simply to buy time for the Kraken. Placos glumly plod forward, as Heartpiercers turn to face their targets. The Centurion body-blocks the Fiends while preparing to ground the Soulflayers next to them.
Hex goes up on the Planar Apparition (that brain thing behind his Butchers), bastion doesn’t happen because that Envoy ran to keep the Water Elementals company. The right Heartpiercers tag 1 damage on the wounded right Soulflayers, while the left two units can’t land any damage on the left Soulflayers. Worse still, the Centurion hits once with his trident (4+ is hard, y’all) and doesn’t wound (3+ is hard, y’all), leaving them free to do whatever they want. In combat, the Kraken boops 3 damage on his Butchers, the hero Heartpiercers do 1 damage to their Buthcers, and the Water Elementals detonate the Mind-screech, turning to menace the Phantoms et. al.
Nightstalkers 3: Chittering horrors from beyond the veil of the flesh pounce across the table. Fiends take that (hindered, ensnared) charge into the Centurion; Soulflayers from the deep left charge Heartpiercers; the ungrounded Soulflayers charge (hindered) the next Heartpiercers; Butchers counter yet more Heartpiercers as well as the Kraken, who is also flanked (hindered) by the last of the damaged right Soulflayers. The Portal blocks the Water Elementals from getting to the retreating Phantoms.
Shooting pushes the poor Placos in the woods back again (!!), shortly before the Planar Apparition does 10 damage to itself while healing the loot Butchers. Perfection. In combat, the Centurion takes no damage from the Fiends, the Heartpiercers near him hold on token damage, and the hindered Soulflayers one round their Heartpiercers with double hot Nv dice. Centrally, the loot Butchers devour their Heartpiercers and the Kraken, while he takes 14+ damage, only wavers. I’ll take it.
Trident 3: As I always do in these situations, I windmill slam my Placoderms into a hindered flank charge, this time on the 2 damage Soulflayers bothering my Kraken (who regens down to 7 damage). The Water Elementals charge the Portal (tho I’m not thrilled about this), the left Heartpiercers counter their Soulflayers and the Centurion prepares, once again, to trident the other Soulflayers.
Hex goes on the Mind-screech that’s been blasting the Placos around, while bastion fails to cast. Heartpiercers do 1 damage to the loot Butchers, whiiiiiiich is more than the Centurion does to those Soulflayers! 4+/3+ is apparently too hard an ask. In combat, the Heartpiercers right next to him do 2 to their Soulflayers, grounding them in the name of their crabby gods, and looks like that sweet Placoderm flank did 2? The Water Elementals smash 6 into the Portal but no break.
Nightstalkers 4: Woof. Butchers hit the Kraken in front and flank (hindered). Soulflayers hit the saucy Placoderms in front and flank (hindered). The other Soulflayers counter the left Heartpiercers, and the Portal counters the Water Elementals. The Phantoms continue to escape with the goods, as Fiends jockey for a charge next turn. The Mind-screech moves rather than casting.
In my defense, I tried to avoid this eventuality …
While the Placoderms weather the storm on 1 die of damage, and the Water Elementals take none from the Portal, the left Heartpiercers are driven off and the Kraken succumbs to the ocean of 5+/2+ attaks. Also the Planar Apparition heals itself down to 6 damage.
Trident 4: The Placoderms holding allows the Water Elementals to flank one of those Soulflayers, letting the Placos counter the other unit. Speaking of Placo violence, the other unit charges (hindered) the loot Butchers, exposing their rear to the left Soulflayers but the Centurion is over there and can surely sit them down at last. My only other unit is the last of the Heartpiercers, who realize they can see the Planar Apparition if they sidestep to the right …
… which they do, managing to land a couple 6+ hits and popping it! Hex goes back on the Mind-screech and bastion fails to cast once more. Finally, the Centurion does cause a single damage to those Soulflayers, disordering them. Thank the drowned sea! Combat isn’t amazing, with Placos doing 3 damage to the Butchers and 6 to the Soulflayers, although the Water Elementals do dunk their Soulflayers.
Nightstalkers 5: With the Phantoms sailing into the distance and nothing around to threaten the left Butchers, the game is well and truly lost, though I at least have points to scrape out of this, if the NS leave me anything to work with … One Placoderm regiment is countered by Butchers and flanked by the Mind-screech, the other is countered by Soulflayers and flanked by Butchers (hindered). The Water Elementals are charged by the Portal. Fiends position to either take the Centurion’s attention or rear some Placoderms.
Yep, Butcher flank does work! Those Placoderms die, and the other unit wavers. The Portal does nothing to the Water Elementals.
Trident 5: The Centurion does another damage to those Soulflayers, sitting them down on 4 damage, while Heartpiercers shoot the other Soulflayers point blank up to 8 damage. The Water Elementals enjoy bastion shortly before tearing the Portal down. Hex must have failed.
Nightstalkers 6: With like 3 minutes left on his clock, Soulflayers flank the Placoderms (hindered) with Butchers in the front (hindered). Other Soulflayers charge (hindered) the Heartpiercers, and other Butchers charge (hindered) the Water Elementals. (The Fiends were out on the Placoderms’ rear and he must have decided all that rolling wasn’t worth hindering into the Centurion again.) On the other side of combat, nobody died! Shockingly the central Placoderms simply wavered, thanks to a total fluff from the Butchers. The Heartpiercers also wavered on hot dice, while the Water Elementals took token damage.
Trident 6: The Centurion has a go at the Soulflayers (0 damage on 3+/3+ *facepalm*), the Water Elementals chunk the Butchers up to 10 damage, and despite their best efforts both Envoys can’t get a single wound on the Soulflayers to roll Nv 😦
Nightstalkers 7: He has enough time to kill the Placoderms and do some damage to the Water Elementals, then clocks.
Trident 7: I luxuriate in my 5 minutes of clock, using it to tear down the Butchers with the Water Elementals and merc the Soulflayers with the Heartpiercers in combat. Hell yea. Also the Centurion tries to pop the other Soulflayers (on 4 damage) but who knows if he even hit. Despite sealing these last couple combats, this was a foregone …


While Stealthy is a royal pain for me, most of his army being De 4+ gave me hope for gaining some momentum and having a fighting chance at two tokens … but that early lucky rout of the Kraken holding down his left flank had me scrambling. Compound that by the Centurion doing a collective 1 damage all game (!), and canny use of windblast by my opponent, and I was just too many steps behind to claw back the Nightstalkers’ early lead. Fun match tho, with loads of interplay. Getting that lucky pop on the hexed Planar Apparition was a feel good moment amongst the frustration.

UP NEXT: Brothermark!