SCUTTLIN’ REALM 33-35: ORC TOWN DAY 1

What is up, Bloodfirers! Hope your summer was a good one, mine became very busy with lots of traveling and a side of COVID (I’m quad-vaxed so that Omicron is a beast). Sadly my reporting (and to large extent gaming as well) was a casualty of all this busy-ness. To get up to speed, I’m going to do Day 1 and Day 2 recaps for the Orc Town GT, with slideshows for the full games for those who want to click through. Strap in!

Orc Town was a 2600 point two day event held on Cape Cod, MA from June 4-5, 2022. I took a deep breath, painted two more crabs, and rolled out with the following:

KAIJU BIG BATTEL!

Trident Realm 2600
Water Elementals Horde – Brew of Strength
Placoderms Regiment
Placoderms Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Coral Giant
Kraken
Kraken
Kraken
Naiad Centurion – Blade of the Beast Slayer
Naiad Centurion – Axe of the Giant Slayer
Naiad Envoy – Bastion (2), Horn of the Ocean’s Fury
Naiad Envoy – Lute of Insatiable Darkness

Coral Giant and double Centurions were the standouts for this slobber knocker of a list, with the Lute of Insatiable Darkness making a return and the Trident of the Drowned Sea left in the armory.

GAME ONE: LEAGUE OF RHORDIA

League of Rhordia 2600
Knights Horde – Boots of Striding
Knights Regiment – Brew of Strength
Honor Guard Horde – Potion of the Caterpillar
Dogs of War Horde – Chant of Hate, Beasts of Targun Spire [1]
Dogs of War Regiment – Shields of Hetronburg [1]
Spear Phalanx Regiment – Pikes
Mounted Scouts Troop
Mounted Scouts Troop
Duke on Ancient Winged Aralez
Duke on Ancient Winged Aralez
Duke Hetronburg [1]
Battle Shrine [1] – Lightning Bolt (6)
Wizard – Conjuring Staff, Bane Chant (2), Lightning Bolt (3)
Wizard – Shroud of the Saint, Lightning Bolt (3)
Halfling Master Sergeant on Pony

Kevin and I were talking at the last Unplugged GT and realized we haven’t played each other since 2E, and simultaneously grudged each other for Orc Town 😀 The general feeling going into this was that I had an advantage, with so much Rampage, but he’s got some extremely punchy stuff and the support to deliver it.

Looks like this game was Salt the Earth, with the League going first. Here’s a rundown of the game (you’ll need to click back to 29/33 and then move forward, these are uploaded in chronological order and I can’t reverse them easily):

If that seems short, we only made it through four turns of the 69 cute minutes we each had to work with, and that’s including going over into lunch. I don’t know how we were soooo slow but I blame being out of practice and extra chummy, on top of the huge armies. Anyway, this grudge match came down to a very gregarious …

DRAW

All told a great way to start the event, even if I was a little shook at the clock 😐

GAME TWO: ELVES

Elves 2600
Drakon Riders Horde – Banner of Eternal Darkness
Forest Shamblers Horde
Stormwind Cavalry Regiment – Potion of the Caterpillar, Quicksilver Lancers [1]
Stormwind Cavalry Regiment – Brew of Strength
Palace Guard Regiment – Brew of Sharpness
Kindred Gladestalkers Regiment – Orb of Towering Presence
Kindred Gladestalkers Regiment
Silverbreeze Cavalry Troop – Piercing Arrow
Hunters of the Wild Troop
Hunters of the Wild Troop
Tydarion Dragonlord [1]
King’s Champion [1]
Elven Archmage – Inspiring Talisman, Bane Chant (2), Lightning Bolt (5)
Elven Archmage – The Boomstick, Lightning Bolt (5)

If these green Elves look familiar, it’s because I played Jim back at Dead of Winter, making 2022 the magical year where I played him twice! This is typically a once-a-year event for us. As to the list, seems legit? Lots of nice Elven tools backed up by Jim’s frighteningly good dice. Would I be able to stay on scenario and shake off my slow play from the first game?

The game is Push – I’m sending 2 tokens up with some Placoderms and 1 token hard right on Heartpiercers, while the Elves put 2 on the Palace Guard and 1 on the regular Stormwind hard left. Importantly, Jim’s not really making a play for the center, while I’m flooding it with more Placos and ‘Piercers, with the Coral Giant looming. Crabs go first, possibly by choice since it’s Push and so many Elves have scouted forward. Here’s the rundown (click back to 30/31):

For those who clicked through, you might have noticed the crabs became really passive at the end of the game? I clocked out at the end of my Turn 5 … Fortunately Orc Town had a rule where you were still allowed to change facing in your turn, so I was able to both protect my flanks on my token holders and keep that ensnare in play, even if I couldn’t regen since nothing was actually activating. Thanks to a decisive lead going into Turn 6, I was able to weather two back to back turns of Elven aggression (and blessedly no Turn 7) to hold onto my …

TRIDENT VICTORY

I think one of the deciding factors of this game was his Drakons floating about in the middle without a clear plan of engagement, which let me shoot them to hell while dismantling his scouting forces. At the same time, two Kraken and a wood held back his strong cavalry + dragonlord flank, as they were tasked with from the beginning. However it worked out, Jim’s always a pleasure to play, even if his dice often give me fits 😛

GAME THREE: OGRES

Ogres 2600
Warrior Chariots Legion – Potion of the Caterpillar
Siege Breakers Horde – Chalice of Wrath
Siege Breakers Horde – Dwarven Ale
Hunters Horde – Brew of Haste
Boomers Horde
Berserker Braves Regiment
Berserker Braves Regiment
Red Goblin Spitters Regiment
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Giant
Sergeant on Chariot – Blade of Slashing
Nomagarok [1] – Bane Chant (3), Heal (4), Lightning Bolt (4)
Warlock – Conjurer’s Staff, Lightning Bolt (3)
Warlock – Orb of Towering Presence, Lightning Bolt (3)
Warlock – Lightning Bolt (3)

Ahhhh Ogres, it was always going to happen, but at least it’s a rematch with Josh and his awesome Moontian army. Not a ton to say on the list, it’s got lots of gnarly stuff with smart items, with a Chariot legion and Giant for flare. Josh seemed pretty down on his performance so far, and I suppose he didn’t exactly burn the world down if we were playing each other in Game 3? Like me, he seemed pretty out of practice and generally tired. All the same, we were here to make war, so war we did.

We’re playing Dominate this game, which is nice for the Ogres anyway 😀 At this point I confide in Josh that I don’t fancy my chances but I do have one goal. I want my shiny new Coral Giant to kill his shiny new Giant, at which point we’re going to go do shots at the venue’s bar. And then the killing started (click back to 36/37):

Wait wait wait, rewind! Ok, it’s Turn 4, his Giant has spent a couple turns aggro-ing some Heartpiercers while my Coral Giant is stuck on Scouts:

I back the Heartpiercers out, then flank his 1 damage Giant with my Coral Giant. I slam fistfuls of damage into the titan, roll the rout and nail it, reroll and fail by one … and then remember this guy is brutal! I flip out and we go shoot some tequila. Amazing.

And this was after baiting his Chariots in against my Placos in a swamp, who held and completely messed up his plans, getting flanked by Kraken and helping me takeover the momentum of the game, something that’s really difficult for my Crabs against Ogres. The game goes back and forth into Turn 7, when somehow I manage a …

TRIDENT VICTORY

What. A. Game. This was the most fun I’ve had against 3E Ogres in a while – the called shot with the Coral Giant certainly helped 😉 Crazily enough, this win also put me at 5th or so place in the GT at the end of the first day! A clubmate asked what was different this event than usual, and I’m pretty sure it’s that I hadn’t switched armies. The Crabs, even more so than standard Trident Realm, are a weird combination of denial, shooting and scenario play, but staying in that space has helped me learn some of the rhythms required instead of just getting frustrated and jumping factions.

UP NEXT: Day 2 kicks off bright and early with Mr. 300 himself!

GAME 34: LEAGUE OF RHORDIA

After taking another full house of losses, Cuddle Time came up against another incestual team made up of the rest of our club and Unplugged’s (and named after one of our clubmates). Pairing into double Varangur was rough, especially as they put up both at once! So a couple dudes got tossed under the eevil Viking steamroller while I played one of my favorite guys and his fabulously painted Rhordia, which has been transitioning towards Halflings and away from its Empire roots for a couple years now.

CROSSROADS GAME 4: TEAM JOHN HOLST HAS A POSSE

– League of Rhordia vs Salamanders
– Varangur vs Night-Stalkers
– Abyssal Dwarfs vs Ogres
– Varangur vs Orcs

BLOODFIRE GAME 34: LEAGUE OF RHORDIA

League of Rhordia 2250

Halfling Braves Regiment – War Bow
Halfling Scouts Troop
Halfling Scouts Troop
Crossbow Regiment
Household Knights Regiment – Cat Potion
Household Knights Regiment – Mace of Crushing
Halfling Ranger Cavalry Troop
Honor Guard Horde – Brew of Haste
Halfling Volley Gun
Halfling Iron Beast
Duke on Horse – Diadem of Dragonkind
Duke on Horse – Hand Grenades
Duke on Ancient Winged Aralez – Heal (4), Blade of Slashing
Wizard on Horse – Fireball (6), Lightning Bolt (3), Bane Chant (2), Inspiring Talisman
Halfling Master Sergeant – Banner of the Griffin, Bow

Beautiful army with a lot of neat stuff going on. Not built to tear faces off but loads of tools, which I respect.

I send us into Dominate yet again, because Bloodfire? Pretty sure he made me go first, for plenty of good reasons.

BATTLE


Battlelines!

Bloodfire slops forward, burning through the forest sheltering it.

Rhordia rolls out, with small arms fire raining into the Ember Sprites and wavering the ones to the right and left of the tower. The Volley Gun realized it should have scooted up to the wall messing with its LOS but deigned to do so retroactively.

More ebbing from the red tide, with the wavered Sprites gumming things up a little bit. The little Mage-Priest prays the wounds off the Sprites to the left of the tower, and the leftmost Sprites start chipping at the Iron Beast.

Rhordia’s fierce war against short things continues, with minimal movement but lots of aggression directed towards Ember Sprites. The Duke on Aralez scatters the Sprites to the right of the tower while those to the left are shot down, the central Sprites are wavered and the leftmost regiment simply mangled a bit.

Bloodfire’s response is limited but, well, incandescent. The line moves up as much as the wavered Sprites allow, preparing as best as possible for the Aralez lurking on the right flank. The little Priest pulls the wound off of the leading Fire Elemental horde, but the real player to watch this turn is Agnes toeing into the central wood. After taking the usual token damage from the Ember Sprites, the Honor Guard are rocked by a full power death ray, taking something like 10 damage from Agnes! The rout check goes well and the Rhordian chocobo hammer is one-rounded. Damn.


Fweeeeeem!

With a collective intake of breath, the Rhordian line backs up from the legendary fire elemental. Shooting strafes the front of the Bloodfire line, dropping the central Sprites, wounding the leading Fire horde and the last of the chaff.

Turn 4 means we stoke the fires and get aggressive. The wounded Fire horde launches out of the red crescent, intent to do some damage to the Iron Beast and bring the enemy into range of the rest of the inferno. The surviving Sprites block at least some of their flank (or something), the little Priest prays them down to 2 damage and the tall Priest heals the little Priest to 4. Agnes cooks some damage into the Knights on the left flank (who I’m pretty sure did not have pathfinder, despite the woods they’re headed into), followed by the central Fire Elementals doing a pretty terrible job of hurting the Iron Beast. Ah well.

The Duke orders a charge from the back of his Aralez, sending Rhordia’s finest crashing into both ends of the wall of living fire, including daring flank charges by Halfling infantry (https://imgur.com/Hhfj8Mk).

Damage splashes across the Bloodfire battleline, but shockingly only the last of the Ember Sprites are routed (and presumably eaten by Halfling Scouts ). Yes, the Aralez flubbed its flank charge pretty badly (I’m told they do that? Tis a weird beastie), and the triple-charged Fire horde was snake eyes’d!

Bloodfire retaliation is brutal, if somewhat intentionally short-sighted (more on that later): Agnes counters her knights, the Fire Elementals to the right take on their blocking Duke, the smoldering Fire horde and the courageous horde double-charge the other knights, the next Fire horde tackles the Volley Gun that finally set up on the wall and the final horde counters the Aralez (with the help of bane chant from the tall Priest). The CLOFD vomit-cannons the Duke near the Volley Gun, wavering him, and the little Priest pulls a tight 6 damage off of Agnes.

After a lot of pummeling, the Aralez is mangled, the Volley Gun is dead, the central Knights are embarrassingly fine (some very sad rolling), the blocking Duke is wavered, but Agnes steals the show again by hammering her Knights into molten scrap with ~8 damage off of 9 attaks. Sweet hell’s teeth, girlfriend!

It’s Rhordia Turn 5 and things are a bit of a mess, but the Halflings are in command more than it may seem. Wavered Dukes scoot around backwards as another round of mass charges is declared: Aralez + flanking Halfling Cav into the right Fire horde, surviving Knights into the courageous Fire horde, Iron Beast + flanking Halfling Braves back into the rapidly-dissipating Fire horde, and the true heroes, Halfling Scouts into Agnes.

On the whole, things don’t go super great damage-wise, but that’s almost not the point this late in the game. All the Fire hordes stick around and Agnes is not disrupted.

Turn 6, Bloodfire is light on options so chooses violence, knowing that this is going to come down to a Turn 7 roll off. The right Fire horde counters the Aralez, the obstacle-riding Fire horde hits the blocking Duke (with no angle for overrun), the CLOFD + courageous Fire horde take on the central Knights, the central Fire horde hits another blocking Duke, and Agnes deigns to charge the Halflings, preferring to shoot them [Mistake? Because of their stealthy, math suggests she does more in combat, as well as I guess disordering them if that mattered]. The little Priest pulled the 3 damage off the central Fire horde, knowing their Target #1 for scoring the zone. Tall Priest bane changed the Fire Elementals fighting the Aralez.

With the exception of Agnes, who couldn’t laser off some Halflings despite obliterating multiple heavy knight units this game, things go well: the Aralez is roasted, the Knights are baked and one of two Dukes is dispatched (the important one in the center). I possibly made another mistake here, as I didn’t even try to overrun into the Braves, which would have been a significant swing in unit strength and not preposterously far away. Although a failed overrun would have left the horde flanked by the Iron Beast and out of a Turn 7 contest.

Rhordia mobilizes for the center, double-charging the central Fire Elementals with those accursed Braves + Iron Beast.

Shooting drops the courageous Fire horde, but combat can’t put paid to the Bloodfire units in the dominate zone . . .

. . . but they’re not enough to overcome the swarm of Halflings! However, Sallies are well-placed for a Turn 7 sweep, if only the turn die had been as well. So that’s a . . .

BLOODFIRE LOSS

This was a great game that I felt shifted firmly into my hands with that snake eyes and then fell out again when I lost all that momentum the next turn with the combo-charge into the Knights flubbing. All the same, Peyton is one of my favorite opponents, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every second of Agnes being a gods damned legend.

PS: Here’s a better shot of the Aralez ‘Dirty Birdy’ (https://imgur.com/odzvXlu) and some adorable Halflings riding goats (https://imgur.com/PlhnKpF). Bless.

Up Next: MERC