Or rather, they arrived a while ago, but haven’t been batrepped for unknown reasons … Bloodfire is still on hiatus while I explore fresher avenues, however I wanted to give some coverage to my current army, plus those that come after this one, and this seems like a decent, agnostic place to do it.

So welcome to the new, expanded, ad-free!

CRABS (FEB 2020) – Big boys by Mierce, tiny lads by Khurasan, token Hadross dude by CMON

Late September 2019, I finished up a new crab-themed Trident Realm army, just a couple days before the Crossroads GT (which was a 2250 point KOW 2E team event). I played a practice game the night before against a team mate, crushing his new Nightstalkers with the fury of a bunch of crustaceans (GAME 1: NIGHTSTALKERS). And with practice out of the way – I had literally never played the army before! – we got a few hours sleep and headed into the event. The list I took for that first outing:

Trident Realm 2250 (2E)
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Gigas Horde*
Gigas Horde*
Naiad Envoy – Aura of Heroism (2), Banner of the Griffin
Depth Horror Eternal – Inspiring Talisman
Depth Horror Eternal – Orcish Skullpole
Naiad Wyrmrider Centurion – Fire-Oil
*King Crabs

As captain of Team Cuddle Time II, I was vaguely in charge of working out which armies would go up against each other and/or what scenarios they would play, so I had some control over who and what my crabs faced. My goal for the team was to put myself into harder armies but ideally with better scenarios for my Trident … which was total conjecture since I didn’t really know what they could do! Here’s the briefest of recaps:


NWC and Kraken doing terrible things to Elf Archers!


Couldn’t tell you what the mission was or how things broke down, but holy hell I won! Biggest revelation was that massed heartpiercers are really good at killing big monsters, as his dragon was deleted in a couple turns as it tried to harry my flanks and rear.


Kraken resolutely face-tanking a charge from a Knight horde!

Knight-heavy (like 2x hordes + regiments + flying heroes) men largely controlled this game, however through the magic of ensnare + hindering the crabs were able to bog down his momentum and smash their way to an inconceivable draw.


Another fast army, this time 2x Elohi, 2x Uh-Elohi, 1-2x Knights, token foot troops, Gnaeus Sallustis annnnnd the mega-dragon (who is now just the normal dragon). I should have gotten wrecked, however he was extremely caught up in the dance a Kraken and his dragon were having in some woods, where I kept turning or stepping into and out of wood templates and he had to keep over-analyzing LOS and what was going on over there, all while taking continual Heartpiercer damage. Preposterously I won this one too!


Crabs busting ghosts!

Dawn of Day 2, and while Team Cuddle Time II wasn’t doing stellar (our Varangur player was getting paired up against very hard armies, and pretty consistently getting smashed for his troubles), my Trident Realm was on a real tear! Up against Undead next, a rather standard 2E affair with some hordes, some knights, some wraith troops, some barrow wights, a dragon, etc. Lowlight was a Kraken getting trapped by Wraiths and dismantled – one troop to the front, then more to the flank, then another to the rear! But otherwise the dragon was shot down and the punchy crabs punched hard, with a somewhat lucky Gigas + Gigas + Eternal charge into a fresh horde that helped me roll his flank up and maul through the rest of the Undead line. Another win!


“Craaaaaab meeeeeeaaat”

Final round of the tournament, and another Undead grinder for me. Main difference here is the abundance of zombies and zombie trolls. I was in control of this game early on, thanks to shooting, but I still remember how, instead of waiting for Turn 3 to engage, when the zombie trolls had been shot off, I jumped the guns and sent the Kraken all in Turn 2, which got most of them killed – including one to multiple wraith troop charges, again. Once the big hammers were down, I scrabbled as best I could but was overrun, earning the armies first loss.

All told, it was a pretty heartening first six games with the scuttlers! Really quite unexpected … although a bit tarnished as the 3E changes for Trident Realm had been previewed the day before the event, and it was clear that almost all the units I was using were going to lose their COK19 bumps. I had a feeling 3E was about to get bumpy for my new army.

Some KOW-less weeks later, the new edition hit, confirming some particularly distressing developments:

  1. Heartpiercers became irregular, making my 2E list illegal and ensuring I will always hurt for unlocks
  2. Heartpiercers lost ensnare, pathfinder and 2 attaks, for the benefit of steady aim, which gutted the reason I based an army around these little, mobile tarpits happy to grab a 24 attak flank when able
  3. Gigas went up to a larger base, making them unwieldy but more importantly meaning I had to paint more of them and rebase the unit (they also lost 1 CS but gained 1 Def and kept their King Crabs Sp, so meh; the added nimble has yet to matter for me)
  4. Kraken lost 3 attaks, severely hurting their abilities as hammers, ironically at the same time as they gained +D3″ charge range

At first I added a Wyrmrider horde for a third hero unlock, but man they suck now. In my first 3E game I lost against Ogres (GAME 7: OGRES):

Then over Wintermas I leant my brother my Ratkin, who brutally beat me at dominate (GAME 8: RATKIN), but then the next day I narrowly squeaked out a win in raze (GAME 9: RATKIN):

With a 3E win under my belt at last, I took on my clubmate’s Abyssals (GAME 10: FORCES OF THE ABYSS), losing again but at least keeping it close:

Meanwhile, my buddy had finally relented to my arm twisting, picked up a load of Mantic minis and smashed through a Northern Alliance army in record time. In short order he hit 2300 points and found himself facing crabs every other week or so. While I won the first match (GAME 11: NORTHERN ALLIANCE), and his first game of full size Kings –

– Trident’s pillowy fists would come up to haunt me, as I lost both of the next two games (GAME 12: NORTHERN ALLIANCE & GAME 13: NORTHERN ALLIANCE). Including this gem:

Aye, that’s a Kraken (with 2 loot tokens) being flanked by Huscarls (with 2 loot tokens) and Half-Elf Berserkers. While the Kraken is in that predicament because I rolled double ones, the North did not repay the favor 😥 Nor did I ever get those 4 loot tokens away from the Huscarls.

Which brings us up to last week! February 22-23 was the US Masters here in New York, and there was a side GT called the Best of the Rest for, well, the rest of us who wanted to scrum and soak up that Masters vibe. I took my freshly reduxed crabs with me and ended up taking a lot of photos with the intent to blog. So strap in, tournament report inbound!

Side Note: Since I’m covering reports for different armies on this blog now, you’ll be able to use the new Category feature >> to more easily select which army you want to follow. Though I do tend to avoid bouncing between armies, it could happen!


Final round up against our TO Jesse, a dude I knew from Master Crafted Gaming batreps ( and who my clubmates ran into at Keystone GT not too long ago. All around great/funny guy playing a balanced and unexpectedly strong Ogre list.


Salamanders 2000

Fire Elemental Horde – Brew of Haste
Fire Elemental Horde
Fire Elemental Horde
Fire Elemental Horde
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ember Sprite Regiment
Ankylodon Battle Platform – firebolts
Herald on Raptor – Diadem of Dragonkind
Herald on Raptor – Healing Charm
Mage-Priest – Surge (8), Heal (3)
Clan Lord on Fire Drake – Banner of the Griffin

Ogres 2000

Warriors Horde
Warriors Horde
Siege Breakers Horde – Cat Potion
Siege Breakers Horde
Boomers Horde
Boomers Horde
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Red Goblin Scouts Troop
Army Standard – Banner of the Griffin
Army Standard
Army Standard
Sweaty Gigante

Third round was Occupy, with Sallies once more going first! Shamble army says yes please! (Admittedly going first wasn’t the best idea in 2/3 of these matchups, but as they all involved moving I was happy to oblige.)


Deployment is central-right, with the left objective ignored. I thought about sending some Sprites to grab it late game, but decided I’d rather they did something in the game itself. Griffin Bearer is the double flag behind the Siege Breakers.

The red wall trundles forward. I expected him to clear chaff next turn, plus was curious what he’d do with his Scouts on the right.

The flesh wall trundles forward. Boomers chunk into the central Sprites, wavering both units and stalling the fire’s advance. The Scouts double charge the speedy right Fire horde, doing appreciable damage but for naught.

Largely stuck in the center, the only real action is on the right, where one unit of Scouts is baked to death by the speedy Fire horde and the other is wavered by Sprite shooting. The speedy horde is healed a bunch, and the left Boomers suffer the CLOFD’s breath, though without even being wavered.

The Ogres continue to press the issue, getting the Boomers closer while setting up traps should the red hordes get stuck. The Giant goes aggro and bops a couple wounds on the speedy Fire horde but whatever. Shortly before which one unit of Boomers clears out the left Sprites, and the other rips into the central Fire horde, shredding 11 damage into them (with 18 shots!). Thankfully they can’t land the rerolled 7 to break them. Whew!

Suffering under the Boomer barrage and needing to act, the left Fire hordes power into Warriors and Boomers respectively, as the right Fire horde countercharges the Giant and Sprites get in the way of Siege Breakers. The Goblin Scouts were purposefully left alone this turn, so they would remain in the way of the Siege Breakers.

While damage is spread around – including breath attaks into the right Boomers – nothing results save for wavering the left Boomers.

The Ogres keep the mayhem going: Warriors countercharge the left Fire horde, more Warriors flank the deeply-wounded central horde, Scouts pounce on the third horde and the Giant countercharges the speedy horde. While the central Fire horde predictably goes down, damage is otherwise relatively light, with the Giant completely fluffing. The CLOFD cops a couple wounds from the right Boomers as well.

More fighting! The left and right Fire hordes countercharge their dance partners, though the third horde chooses not to countercharge the Scouts, to keep them in between the Breakers for another turn (this was an overthinking mistake on my part). The riskiest move was sending the Ankylodon into the wounded Boomers, as I was relying on 8 hindered attaks to land at least one wound and pop the Boomers, allowing the ABP to reform and not be flanked by things with CS that hit good. The plan also required at least wavering the other Boomer horde with shooting, which thankfully the CLOFD + Sprites were able to do, despite hitting on 5+. Combats work out, with the Boomers and Warrior both dying. The Giant is wavered but Fury don’t care. And the Scouts gumming up the right flank are wavered from shooting (I guess I hoped to clear and charge in my next turn? However charging now and charging then would have worked too).

Around this time the Diadem Herald had worked his way around the left flank, incinerating the leftmost Army Standard ❤

Hindered Warriors and Army Standard hit the Ankylodon, doing two points of damage, of which the big beastie heals one from Iron Resolve. On the right the Giant figures out how clubs work and hammers the speedy Horde but no lucky rout.

The Sallies turn the heat up and brutalize the Ogre army, with the left Warriors disappearing under a Fire horde flank attak (the Ankylodon helped), the Giant burned to cinders and the Scouts finally ended, forcing the Breakers over there to make a choice. Happily the Boomers are also routed, thanks to a sterling round of vomit from the CLOFD.

At this point things feel pretty great. It’s Turn 5, with just two Siege Breaker hordes and two Army Standards left up against a lot more red than I’m used to. Clearly I didn’t know what Siege Breakers are capable of O_O

Cat Siege Breakers charge the Ankylodon and the less-wounded Fire horde on the right, with their Army Standards flanking the Ankylodon and blocking the rightmost Fire horde. While the ABP takes 7 wounds, he’s able to survive the rout test. This is not the case for the Fire horde, which is absolutely jellied in one go.

Sally 6 is a scramble that has the left Siege Breakers slammed by Ankylodon + Fire while the right Siege Breakers are fed some Sprites to keep them occupied (and available to be shot). The Diadem Herald is only able to waver the left Breaker’s Army Standard, meaning that despite taking 11 points of damage the central Breakers don’t go down. On the right, breath from the CLOFD + Sprites is unable to dent the other Breakers, and the Fire horde only wavers their Army Standard in combat.

The right Siege Breakers obliterate the last of the Sprites, securing a secondary objective, as the left Siege Breakers erase their Fire horde, securing another secondary objective. With no Turn 7, the Ankylodon contented himself with securing the primary objective and calling it a draw.


All told three good games, and I’m always happy to go 50%. Mantic provided prizes for the top three, which included me! I walked away with a Forge Father Sturnhammer, which I’m actually very excited to use as an APC in Necromunda. Though that’s a topic for another batrep thread . . .