The Unplugged GT was held April 23-24 in Milford, MA, delivering on its promise of five great games of Kings of War with a lovely bunch of gentlemen. Lists were 1995 points and, while I had originally planned on taking a very Herd-centric version of The Hallow with a bunch of new units, I found that I really didn’t like actually playing the army, which involved lots of positioning, waiting, and then doing next to nothing when allowed to fight. I’ve got photos of THE HALLOW 16: OGRES, but I think I’ll keep that drubbing unreported for now.

Which meant I would be taking crabs to Unplugged after their lukewarm showing at Dead of Winter! I was on the whole ok with this – I like playing them, even when losing, and they feel like they have tools to keep me engaged despite having a pretty low ceiling. I spent April updating the paint on them: green accents swapped to blue, claw tips blackened and glossed, brighter bone highlights here and there, and tufts everywhere. Time well spent and I’m happy I returned to zazz the crustaceans up a bit.

I managed to get one practice game in a few days before the tournament, so consider this report a prelude to the full Unplugged report. Strap in.

Trident Realm 1995
Water Elementals Horde – Brew of Strength
Placoderms Regiment
Placoderms Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Heartpiercers Regiment
Naiad Centurion – Trident of the Drowned Sea
Naiad Envoy – Bastion (2)
Naiad Envoy – Trickster’s Wand

You’re damn right that’s my 2100 list minus the Depth Horror Eternal but with the wand instead of #warbow 😉 It was a toss-up between the fury aura or hex on the second Envoy, however the existence of Nightstalkers and Ogres convinced me to go with wand. Would I regret it and doom the Placos to a wavered hell??

Ogres + Nightstalkers 1995
Siege Breakers Horde – Staying Stone
Boomers Horde
Hunters Horde
Hunters Horde
Warrior Chariots Regiment
Crocodog Wrangler
Berserker Bully – Torc of Dissonance
Nomagarok – Bane Chant (3+), Heal (4+), Lightning Bolt (4+)
Ogre Warlock – Lightning Bolt (3+), Scorched Earth (2)
Scarecrows Regiment
Void Lurker

My clubmate continues to rock his Ogres, but this time with an excuse to bring his big blue Mierce demon to the table. Happily Void Lurkers are pretty legit (people try to tell me otherwise but I disagree, they’re still one of the few dragons I respect). The rest of the list is all bangers, with the main downside being no dedicated chaff to speak of, save for the Bully and Scarecrows. The Crocodog was the thing I most curious to see in action, since it’s new and shiny and weird. Which is ironic to say now given what happened in this game …

We rolled up Dominate, I won the roll for initiative and made the Ogres go first.


Battlelines! Worth noting that my bastion Envoy is on the left, trident Centurion is center and hex Envoy is on the right. I would have preferred to have hex > bastion > trident but he knew I was waiting for the Void Lurker to drop so saved it until last, at which point my line had developed and needed inspiring more. For Ogre notes, Hunters are on the flanks and of the two Warlock models, the blue-skinned one in yellow robes is Nomnom.
Ogres 1: It’s a general advance, with the Void Lurker and Hunters on the right toeing into the woods for LOS. Lightning from the Warlock tags the left Kraken for 2 damage.
Trident 1: The crabs scuttle forward in response, staying out of charge ranges except for the Kraken which use their 17″ threat to psych the Ogres out a bit. Bastion goes up on the left Kraken and Heartpiercers stick 8 damage on the Boomers and 3 on the right Hunters.
Ogres 2: Boomers and Siege Breakers press forward, with Bully and Void Lurker preparing to flank in should any crabs get frisky with them. Hunters on both flanks fade back, shortly before the Warlock and Boomers hammer 9 damage into the leftmost Heartpiercers, wavering them. Noms heals the Boomers down to 5 damage.

Trident 2: Feeling tired and saucy, I unleash the crabs a turn early or so (never a good sign!), sending the left Kraken + Placoderms (hindered) into the Boomers. The intent is to crack them and turn to face the oncoming threats to left and right. The wavered Heartpiercers regen down to 3 damage, then their cohorts spike 3 damage on the Siege Breakers (I low key forgot they had Def 6+ :P) and 0 on the Void Lurker. I also tire of being gamey with the left Hunters and press the Water Elemental horde forward, curious to see how that grind works, but confident it buys me a couple turns. Bastion stays on the left Kraken.

The Boomers are splattered. After combat, the Kraken rotates first to face the bully (but later rotates 90 degrees back to face the Warrior Chariots, which was my intent but I didn’t drop a laser, and Corey is a gent). I discover that the Placos’ giant base doesn’t rotate like I expected, so to avoid a flank from the Siege Breakers I have to sidestep (CRAB. WALK.) them over. 1-2″ will see them safe and out of a Void Lurker flank … so I roll 3″ and those dudes are toast 😦 Spoilers: I realized next turn that if the Placoderms had sidestepped first, the Kraken would have the room to put both the Bully and the Chariots in his front. Bleh.
Ogres 3: The Ogres capitalize on my aggression with frightening speed. Hunters on the left charge the Water Elementals; the Bully flanks the Kraken with Chariots in the front; and the Placoderms are charged by Siege Breakers (hindered) and flanked by Scarecrows and the Void Lurker. AND the Crocodog launches itself into my Centurion in the woods.
The Centurion takes up his battle stance as he prepares to gut this mangy mutt next turn.
The Hunters kick off a brutal turn by doing 6-7 damage to the Water Elementals horde then roll a 10 followed by an 11 on Nv to one round it. Shiiiiiii– The Crocodog follows this up by doing 4-6 damage to the Centurion despite 6+ to hit, 4+ up (vicious) to wound. The Centurion dies an inglorious death when the 10+ Nv roll hits. The Kraken has half a chance to live but another 10+ Nv roll routs the big guy, while the Placoderms, who were already dead, in fact die. Yowza. The other Placoderms also take a point of lightning damage.
Trident 3: I’ve got a lot of guns left, which is cool, right? Heartpiercers back up or scoot around to draw LOS to the Void Lurker, while the right Kraken hurtles into the right Hunters and the bastion Envoy cowers by the tower and hits the leftmost Heartpiercers with his buff. 40 harpoon shots (10 cover, all stealthy) do 8 damage to the Void Lurker. The Kraken bashes the Hunters to 7 damage. Oh, and the wand Envoy hexes the Warlock.
Ogres 4: Chariots plow (hindered) into the left Heartpiercers, the Void Lurker pounces the right Heartpiercers, and the right Hunters counter the Kraken as the Ogres descend upon the crabpeople.
The Envoy makes unintelligible scared crab sounds as it prepares to be savaged by the Crocodog. He is a pragmatic crab, after all.
While the left Heartpiercers splatter messily, the other combats are less decisive, with the Envoy, Void Heartpiercers and Kraken all holding tight on relatively low damages.
Trident 4: Heartpiercers punch 2 damage onto the Chariots in cover and successfully ground the Void Lurker, as the Kraken finishes off his Hunters and turns to kaiju big battle the titanic nightmare next turn. Noms is successfully hexed.
Ogres 5: The Warrior Chariots charge (hindered) and obliterate the next leftmost Heartpiercers (great break again). Noms also pushes through the hex and heals the Chariots to 0 damage, taking 6 himself in the process. The Void Lurker meanwhile manages to waver the rightmost Heartpiercers. Also the Crocodog took another bite out of the Envoy but he continues to stick around
Trident 5: Sensing the end, Placoderms rush off the hill and into the Chariots, with the Heartpiercers charging the Siege Breakers to hold them in place and protect the Placos from being flanked. (As you can see, the Placos’ base tucked in and was probably fine by itself …) The wavered Heartpiercers back up 3.5″, making room for the Kraken to charge the Void Lurker. In the end the Chariots are wavered and Noms is hexed again, otherwise we’re grinding with not much left in the tank.

Ogres 6: The Siegebreakers dunk their Heartpiercers, the Void Lurker cuddles the Kraken a bit, and the Placoderms are hit with scorched earth for next turn. The Crocodog also devours the Envoy at last.

Trident 6: Said Placoderms poke ineffectively at the Chariots and I’m guessing the Kraken fluffed. Without a Turn 7 (blessedly!), this isn’t a tabling but it is an …


What a beat down, with an early assist from hot, hot rout dice to really rub my face in it. Not to just blame the dice, I made a few bad decisions and engaged too early, when shooting could have used another turn to work over the ‘softer’ Ogre units. The Void was always going to be a problem, tho he played a pretty passive game compared to what I expected, not that he needed to go ham. Spoilers for the tournament, my opponent this game would go on to win the Unplugged GT! Great showing for a strong player and fairly unique Ogre list.

Speaking of the Unplugged GT, stay tuned for the reports, which kick off with me rematching the Basilean army I played at Dead of Winter!